


There Is No Light

by jesbakescookies



Series: Without Darkness-There Is No Light [2]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Angst, Blood, Character Death, Child Death, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gore, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Road Trippin', Sequel, Smut, Without Darkness, Zombies, power couple of the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-05-24 06:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 52,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14949123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesbakescookies/pseuds/jesbakescookies
Summary: [SEQUEL to Without Darkness] After the events in Alexandria, Negan and Kayla are now on their own in the large dangerous world. With only each other, how will they survive and what will they find in their travels? Will the darkness they left behind, lead them to the light at the end of the tunnel? Negan x OC- Mature content.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel to Without Darkness.
> 
> If you haven't read Without Darkness you should go back and check it out, you'll want the backstory. This AU story will pick up where Without Darkness left off but will have some jumps in time. This fic will most likely be shorter than the first, fyi.
> 
> Thank you all for being so supportive and encouraging. It does take quite a lot of work to produce these fics and I have a tendency to stretch myself too thin, which results in lagging updates so I apologize for that. Hearing from readers always makes it worth it. I was going to wait to start posting this fic but I am the most impatient person ever and enjoy feedback.
> 
> This fic will contain the usual mature content. Gore, language, possible trigger situations, smut and probably other offensive stuff. 18 and older please and thank you.
> 
> I don't own the Walking Dead or it's characters. All OCs and non canon story lines are mine.
> 
> Now to the good stuff, Negan and Kayla in the wild.
> 
> ENJOY!

"What happened to Lucille?" Negan's voice broke the comfortable silence, his eyes were tired and mouth frowned. Kayla swallowed dryly before replying, "They burned her at a memorial for their loved ones."

She watched his hands tighten on the steering wheel, his cheek ticking as the information sunk through him like jagged shrapnel. Clearing his throat, Negan adjust his position to lean against the door rest. "I suppose it's for the best."

"I'm sorry, Negan." She spoke softly, reaching across to grab his thigh.

"Don't be doll." He replied, his voice rougher than before. "I'll find something else to beat the shit out of people with."

"You mean besides your dick?" Kayla joked with a raised eyebrow.

"Exact-fucking-ly." He rasped, flashing a sly grin, his amused eyes flicking to hers. "Fuckin' missed you, sweetheart."

"Me too." She smirked, rolling her head on the seat to watch him steer lazily. "I think we should drive as far as we can. I don't know if anyone will follow us, but if they do, they'll be out for blood."

"Yeah, I fucking doubt Rick's gonna fess up. He'll probably say you killed that fuck and broke me out or something."

"I don't really give a shit, as long as they leave us alone."

" _Ditto_ , baby cakes"

The car was quiet for a while until Negan asked, "How's your back? You were still hurtin' yesterday."

"It's... fine I guess. It's all grown back but the skin is so damn tight and whatever nerves were exposed... it still hurts."

"Shit." Negan muttered, his hand covering hers. "Did he send anything for you?"

"I have a first aid kit I used to fix your head, don't know what's in it."

"We'll have to catalog what we got, see what we need. There's probably a week, week and half of food, but only a few days worth of water, so we'll need to find a source  _a.s.a.p_."

"Did we have any leads for out west?"

"I know we were planning on hitting Humphrey before all this shit happened. We could try there."

"Whatever you think." Kayla replied leaning back in her seat.

"Get some sleep, doll."

"Nope." She replied with a smile. "You're the one with the head injury. Truthfully, I should be driving."

"Fuck no." He retorted. "Last time I let you be in charge of getting us somewhere we ended up  _l_ _ost. as. fuck_."

"Fuck off. That was one time."

"One, is too many times." He retorted dryly, his tongue between his molars as he winked at her.

"Ass." Kayla muttered, crossing her arms as though angry.

"Yes, please." He grinned, his hand squeezing her thigh. "Fuck, I can't wait to fuck you. Do you have  _any. fucking. idea_  how bad I wanted to just bang you through those bars."

"Hot prison sex?"

"Super fucking hot,  _hard_  prison sex." He groaned, adjusting his tightening sweatpants.

"Maybe we can role play sometime. You be the inmate and I'll be the hot guard who has a thing for tall, dark and handsome convicts. Bad boys with charming grins and big dicks."

"Fuck, doll. My johnsons gonna bust through my goddamn pants and set off the airbags."

Laughing lightly, Kayla gave him a coy look and flirted back. "Yeah well, I'm soaking the upholstery."

Slamming on the brakes, Negan stopped in the middle of the abandoned strip of pavement. Jamming the stick into park violently, he turned in his seat to face her. One arm was braced on the seat, while his other clutched the edge of the dashboard with white knuckles, his wide frame blocking her in. Negan leaned over the center console and loomed above Kayla, his tongue swiping his bottom lip before being bitten between his teeth. A hunger filled his eyes as she peered up at him. Kayla's fingers reached out to curl into the worn cotton stretching across his chest, pulling him just a little closer. Biting her lip, she watched him slowly press his forehead against hers, while staring deeply into her eyes.

"I want to screw your fucking brains out, baby doll. Just spread you open and fuck the motherfucking fuck out of that teeny, tiny,  _tight_  fuckin' pussy." He spoke through clenched teeth, finishing with an almost painful groan. His eyes fluttered and he sucked air through his teeth as though he were imagining just how good it would feel but found picturing it, painfully too little.

"But..." Negan groaned, his dark, dilated eyes softened as he looked her over. His large hand cupped her cheek, brushing a gentle thumb across her marred skin. "I want our first time together to not be in this shitmobile, surrounded by god fucking knows what. I'm not about to get your luscious ass mawed on by anyone but me."

Smirking, Kayla joked, "We've fucked before Negan. I'm no blushing bride."

"You know what I mean." He snapped, his hand tightening on the dashboard.

"I was just kidding." She sighed, her brow furrowed as he stewed in the driver's seat.

"No you're avoiding, like always. You haven't told me anything else about what happened to you besides that first night."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Which is fine right now, but eventually you're going too."

"How did we go from about to fuck like animals, to a conversation about bullshit?" she growled angrily, she didn't want to speak about being tortured. Who would?

"I don't fucking know!" Negan growled, his hand roughly rubbing his face before gripping a handful of his hair. "I think I'm losing it. Or lost it being locked up."

"Hey." She murmured, tugging on his shirt to get him to look back at her. "A lot happened. It'll take time to unwind from all that shit. Believe me, when I first got out and had to adapt to Sanctuary and  _you_. I was a fucking mess for a while."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, with a tired smile.

"Yeah."

Leaning forward, Negan kissed her softly. His hand held her neck, his thumb laying across her jawline. "How'd I get you doll?"

"Pure fucking luck." She muttered against his lips, giving him another peck before saying, "We should keep moving babe. I don't want to deal with any drama."

"Babe huh?" He asked, kissing her forehead. Restarting the car, Negan pulled out slowly to continue down the road. Smirking at her while steering with one hand, he commented, "I dig it."

* * *

After driving all night and into the late morning, the pair found a gated community off the beaten path. The gate was busted open and the houses long raided but they needed a place to rest before continuing to the town named Humphrey.

Negan and Kayla did a quick drive through the community looking for obvious signs of dead or living. Finding it relatively clear, the pair picked a house with a working front door and cleared the property. Once barricade inside, their car secured in the garage, Kayla fixed a small meal of canned food.

"Fuck I'm gonna miss fresh fucking vegetables and fruit." Negan complained while eating a heaping of beans.

"Yeah, this is going to be shitty." Kayla commented, chewing slowly. "But you're out of prison, I'm no longer waiting for a knife in my back from some pissed off housewife and we're free to do whatever the fuck we want."

"I'd rather go back to Sanctuary and eat a motherfucking BLT sandwich on fresh bread."

"Well, obviously." She retorted, scraping her dish clean. Tossing the dishes in the sink, Negan motioned to the staircase and asked, "You wanna sleep upstairs?"

"Sure." She replied, following him to the second floor. "We doin' a watch"?

"Probably a good idea." He muttered, scrubbing his scruffy jaw. "Fuck, I hate this."

Kayla frowned, stepping into his chest and resting her hands on his hips. "I know it sucks."

"It more than sucks Kay. It's fucking  _bullshit_." He huffed, stepping away to pace the floor. "It's goddamn  _ludicrous_. I fucking built Sanctuary from the fucking ground up and what? Now I gotta scrape fucking by on the run with you?!"

Negan's voice became louder as he went on, his words spilling out in a flurry as all the stress and rage from the months of incarceration flooded out.

"That  _fucker_. That fucking, fucker Prick. He takes me down, slits  _my_  goddamn throat while I'm asking for help? That fucking fuck. I tell him you're gone, tell him they took you, that they're doing god fucking knows what to you and  _what. the. fuck_. does he do? The cocksucking motherfucking prick. Slits. My. Fucking. Throat!"

Kayla stepped forward, grabbing his hand, which he instantly yanked from her.

"No doll. Don't fucking try it." He jabbed his finger in her face.

"Try what? To calm you down? You need to stop yelling."

"Fuck off. Fuck anything that comes this way because I'm gonna beat some fucking heads in with my god-fucking-damn bare fucking hands. I'm gonna tear something's throat out and stomp its skull in until there's nothin' left. Nothing! It's been too goddamn long since I fucked something up."

"Negan, stop."

"No. It's a crock of shit. You deserve more than this bullshit." He ranted, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm supposed to fucking take care of you. You're my goddamn  _wife_ and they just... they just." His throat closed as he looked at her with watery, rage-filled eyes, his hands clenched into tight fists.

Stepping closer, Kayla carefully cupped his cheeks despite his angry glare. Stroking the rough hair covering his dimples, she murmured, "It wasn't your fault."

It was as though the words weighed too much once he heard them. Negan's chin dropped to his chest and a sob escaped his throat. Falling to his knees, his long arms wrapped around her hips and waist as his face pressed into her stomach. She could feel tremors running through his giant body and the tears soaking her shirt. Kayla cupped the back of his head, combing her fingers through his hair gently, scraping her nails along his scalp.

"Easy baby, easy." She murmured, kissing the crown of his head as she spoke into his thick hair. "It wasn't your fault and I'm sorry that Rick took advantage of the situation. It was bullshit. But we'll find a way Negan. We always do and at least we're out here together."

Tipping his face up after scrubbing it against her shirt, his looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "I need to keep you safe and it's so fucking hard to do that out here, with no back up."

"You have back up." She replied evenly, her words unwavering. "You'll  _always_  have back up."

They stared at each other for a moment before Kayla lowered her mouth to his, kissing him deeply and thoroughly. The mood had turned from rage, to sorrow and now buzzed wildly with need.

Negan was on his knees one moment but on his feet the next, his large hands squeezing her ass and gripping her neck.

Their mouths worked frantically against each other, as they shuffled to the bed. Kayla tumbled back as Negan caught himself before crushing her. Hands tore clothing off as they continued to rediscover each other's mouths. Kayla arched off the bed to press her tits into Negan's face, begging him for attention.

The man growled deeply, his hands clutching her breasts as he twirled his tongue around the stiff peaks.

"Fucking shit, doll." He groaned deeply as she fisted his cock in a tight hand. "Fuck. I'm not gonna last one hot goddamn minute."

"Me neither." She muttered, licking her lips as she watched her hand pump his swollen dick. "I just  _need_  to feel you."

Growling deeply, Negan sat back on his heels and tugged Kayla towards him, while spreading her thighs wider. His eyes ate her up, scanning her naked vulnerable form like a ravenous beast.

"Promise to tell me if I hurt you." he grunted, his thumb brushing through her folds, spreading the obvious arousal and causing her to moan.

"Yes. Now  _fuck me_ , Negan." She growled, lifting her hips towards the desired appendage. "Please."

"Fuck." He grunted before pushing inside with one long, slow thrust. Kayla couldn't stop from clutching at him desperately. They hadn't been intimate in months and it felt as though it had been years.

"Jesus motherfucking Christ, you are  _tight. as. fuck,_  doll face." He moaned, flinging himself forward to bury his face in her neck. Sucking and licking his way to her mouth, Negan moaned as her walls clenched around him. "Fuck. You are ri-goddamn-diculously wet, sweetheart."

"Yeah." Kayla gasped, rolling her hips against his, as he whined at the action. "Fuck me, baby. Fuck me hard."

"I'm gonna cum." He mumbled, pulling back before plunging back in with a pathetic whimper. "Fuck I can't-."

"Just let go." She murmured against his lips, "This ain't the last time."

Negan sat up and gripped her hips, his eyes hooded and dark. Kayla could barely make them out.

With one last slow thrust, Negan let loose a barrage of hip shattering moves. Kayla held on as he just about pillaged straight through her, her own orgasm rising up and crashing so surprisingly, that it brought tears to her eyes.

"Oh shit!" she cried out, her legs wrapping a steel-like vice around his waist as Negan kept pushing into her without pause. His breathing was frantic as she convulsed around his swelling head, the man losing control as she ground against him seeking out every last drop of pleasure.

"Shitfuck." He snarled, his fingers digging into her hips as his own release hit him like a freight train. "Baby. Oh god of fucking fuck. Doll."

Negan collapsed forward, his face pressed in between her moist tits. His breath was warm and wet across her already sweaty skin. She raked her fingernails through his shaggy hair while kissing his sticky temple.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled into her overheated skin. "It'd been too long, next time will be better."

"Stop apologizing. I came didn't I?"

"Once. You know I like to make you scream until you can't anymore."

"Yeah well, I'm not sure I want to scream until I can't anymore. That was fucking amazing."

Snorting, Negan pushed himself upright and peered down at her. "You're beautiful freshly fucked, that's for sure."

Smirking, Kayla offered, "You're pretty damn handsome, all hot and bothered."

They lay there for quite some time, both sinking into the other for the first time in many months. Negan's hand brushed the edge of her healing scars and jolted at the unfamiliar texture. Sliding away from his grasp, Kayla lowered her eyes from his curious ones.

Reaching out, he tipped her chin up and traced her face slowly with dark eyes.

"Let me see." Negan whispered, his gaze imploring as his trembling fingers tips touched her scarred cheek. "Please show me."

Kayla's head bowed heavily, her eyes flooding with unshed tears. His arm wrapped securely around her waist, his mouth pressing into her neck and brushing her ear. "I got you Kay. It's me.. you're safe with me. Please show me."

"I..." she croaked, shaking her head. "Don't want you to see."

"I have too."

Kayla's chin rest on her chest, her tears dripping from her chin and jaw. She sniffed loudly before nodding and sliding away from him. She let him see her arms and stomach, which had new scars, tiny scattered cuts from being dragged and beaten. Kayla swallowed thickly as her eyes connected with his, noticing his jaw tightening as he gazed at her.

"Are you sure?" She whispered, her nervous eyes flicking from him to the bed.

"Turn around." He bit out, his jaw ticking with suppressed anger. Taking a slow breath in, Kayla rolled over to reveal her new skin to Negan for the first time since her captivity.

Her whole body was trembling as she felt his eyes soaking in the gruesome mess her back had become. When his fingers touched her hip, she flinched violently, releasing a choked gasp.

The room was deathly quiet except for Kayla's quickened breath and the squeak of the bed as Negan scooted closer.

"Can I touch you?" The tightness of his tone had her peeking at him over her scarred shoulder. The stricken look and glossy eyes she found on a man, who had never looked as distraught as he did right then, had her nodding despite wanting nothing more than to put her shirt back on.

"N-not at the top... it still hurts."

"Still?"

"Doctor said it's nerve damage. Misfiring something or other."

"Will it go away?"

"He didn't now.. maybe."

His hand hovered over her waist, the man unsure about touching her for the first time ever. The rough pad of his thumb slowly stroked up her spine, the thick digit brushing silken passes as it traveled. "You gotta tell me if it hurts." His voice firm but desperate. "I don't want to hurt you, sweetheart."

"You won't."

"I could-."

" _You won't_."

Negan was tentative at first, the stroke still just a fingertip. Slowly it became four pads and then the warmth of his wide palm soothed her trembling nerves. The man adjusted his touch by feeling her reactions. The tensing of her spine meant it was too much and he'd pull back and lighten his motions. Soon the pain receded and she could sink into his hand following the curve of her hip up to the base of her skull. He combed his finger into her hair and scratched them along her scalp. Tingles broke out across her body and she found herself rolling over to face him. His thigh slid between her legs as he yanked her closer, causing her to grind against Negan's leg.

"Fuck dollface." He growled, "You're greedy."

"I'm making up for lost time. With everything else I'd nearly forgotten how good we are at this."

Negan's mouth turned into his widest and most obnoxious smile, his nose wrinkled and chest vibrating with laughter. Kayla loved making him laugh genuinely. She could almost see who he'd been before the world went to shit.

"I could never forget that, sweetcheeks." He drawled, his voice gravelly and jovial as he gave her wink while grabbing her ass.

Giggling, Kayla smacked his chest and spoke with laughter bubbling up. "Stop."

"No. I won't. I've fucking missed this. Fuck… I." He voice seemed to disappear suddenly, his hooded eyes dropping to hers. "I can't fucking believe we're here right now."

"Me neither."

"We can do this." He rasped, his fingers tracing her jaw and chin.

"Yeah, yeah we can." Kayla replied, her lip pulling up into a soft smile. "We are."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Negan and Kayla circled the large building with guns drawn, both scanning for signs of living and dead. The fences and gates were still intact but they'd learned it was better safe than sorry. With only the two of them, they needed to be careful.

"You think they still have corn dogs?" Kayla whispered as they stood next to the banner for the food court.

Negan's wolfish eyes slid to hers and he drawled, "The only corn dog you'll be swallowing today is mine, babycakes."

Rolling her eyes, she muttered under her breath as they reached the entrance. "Not with  _that_  attitude."

Smirking over his shoulder, Negan rasped, "We'll see, dollface."

Peering through the glass, they could see the place looked untouched, the door still locked and windows in one piece. "What exactly are we doing here?" Kayla asked, her eyes scanning the displays inside.

"One, I've always wanted to come here but never had the fucking cash and two, we need a car."

Kayla gave him an incredulous look. "Negan we are not driving a hot rod around. They're loud as  _fuck_."

Chuckling, he shrugged a shoulder. "But we'll be able to outrun everything and everyone so… Even-Fucking-Steven."

"No, it's not." She hissed as he popped the door open to the Vintage Automobile Museum. "This is ridiculous Negan."

"Look alive, sweetheart." He replied, flashing her a boyish grin and wink. "Eyes open, mouth shut. Don't get your perky ass bit because you're to busy yapping your gums."

Sighing deeply, Kayla followed Negan into the large building which stored a wide collection of vehicles from the last hundred years. Once inside they explored the lobby and display rooms finding the place dusty but not looted. Each display room was filled with different cars and car memorabilia. The walls were lined with photographs and long dead tv screens that once showed car footage and advertisements.

"Fucking, fuck me." Negan rasped as he stood in front of a classic 1960s Chevy Impala. "I might've just cum in my pants a little."

Kayla rolled her eyes as Negan stroked a gloved finger down the side of the beauty.

"Food court might have stuff and there's gotta be a employee breakroom or something." Kayla offered as Negan looked over the shiny black Impala with lust filled eyes, his tongue bitten between his teeth. She watched as he rocked back on his heels, his head cocked to the side as though contemplating fucking the thing were it sat.

Rolling her eyes, Kayla spoke as though he were actually listening. "I'm going to check it out. You stay here and jack off on your girlfriend's hood."

"Yeah. Alright.." He mumbled, while looking over the leather interior and shiny chrome.

Smirking, she added, "Try not to knock her up while I'm gone, yeah?"

"Uh, huh."

With her machete out, Kayla wandered the building looking for the food court. Finding it near the center of the museum, she began searching the cabinets for anything of use. Setting aside a first aid kit and flashlight, Kayla covered her nose as she found the long dead rats in glue traps. Using the flashlight she'd just found, she entered the kitchen and scanned the area for anything of use.

There were bulging cans of fake cheese sauce and other condiments but nothing they'd want to consume. Pocketing the packets of sugar and salt, she figured they'd use them to make whatever they scavenged taste better.

Leaving the kitchen, Kayla strolled towards the administrative section of the museum searching for an employee area. She was stepping through a doorway when a clanking sound had her pausing instantly. A squeaking followed by a scrape, had her blade raised, ready for whatever was heading her way.

Pressing her back to the wall, she side stepped to the corner of a turn in the hallway and peeked around the edge. Strapped into a rolling desk chair, sat a long dead security guard, his boney wrists tied with telephone wire. Wandering up to him as he scooted along towards her, Kayla numbly watched him snarl and snap at her. Pinned to his chest was a hand written note from whoever tied him up.

' _I couldn't do it. Forgive me.'_

Shoving her blade through the growling dead man's temple, Kayla moved on to search the security office, as well as the employee areas.

* * *

Lugging another duffle bag filled with spare clothing and snacks from the vending machine, Kayla returned to find Negan tinkering under the hood of the Impala.

"Did these things even run before?" She asked, dropping the bag of supplies.

"Yeah, they got to move 'em and shit."

"Wouldn't they just push it or something?" She asked, pulling open a bag of pretzels with her teeth. Crunching loudly, Kayla watched Negan cursing under his breath as he tried to get the key to turn over.

"There's plenty of cars in that neighborhood nearby." Kayla offered, holding the bag out to him. Grumbling at her, Negan ignored the offer of food and went back to burying his head in the engine block.

Rolling her eyes, Kayla opened the passenger door of another car nearby and sat down. She almost propped her foot up on the dashboard but felt Negan's eyes on her like some kind of scolding father. Sulking, she ate while watching Negan huff and grunt as he fought to get the car running.

After an hour of him bitching and moaning, the car roared to life, jolting Kayla out of the nap she was taking with her eyes open.

"Fuck." She grunted, as she smacked her head on the doorframe. Rubbing the spot, she climbed out of the car and watched Negan smile like a kid on Christmas.

Revving the engine a few times, Negan turned it off and gloated, "See, I fucking  _knew_  I could get this cherry running. Fuck. Did you hear her babygirl? God-fucking-damn, don't she purr? I'm so fucking hard right now."

"It's great… but don't these things suck on gas though?"

"Come on, doll. Don't fucking spoil it by bitching about gas mileage and cup holders."

"We need to conserve our gas, Negan."

Glaring at her, he picked up her bag and sauntered over to the trunk and shoved it inside. "We're taking this car."

"Don't be a prick. You know this is not fucking practical."

"Don't. Fucking. Call me a  _prick_." Negan growled, his eyes blazing as he towered over her, "And who fucking cares about practical, doll? It's the goddamn apocalypse, why not enjoy it with a fast a fuck car?"

"Because practical will keep us alive and speeding down the roads in a very loud, gas guzzling, death trap will only get us killed."

Stepping forward, he glowered down at her. "We're taking this fucking car and you're gonna shut the fuck up about it."

"Oh really?" She scoffed, crossing her arms and glaring back up at him.

"Yeah, really." He rasped deeply, his cheek ticking as she snorted in amusement.

Negan clenched his jaw and glared at her even harder, the pinch in his lips only slightly more arousing than his smirk. She was enjoying pushing his buttons, poking the bear.

"We're taking it." He growled.

After a long tense silence of Negan glaring and Kayla rolling her eyes obstinately while secretly wanting him to throw her over his shoulder and shove her inside, she caved.

"Okay, fine." She huffed, her eyes trailing over the car before returning to his smug expression. "No complaints about needing to siphon gas every five fucking feet."

"Fine. No complaints about gas mileage and speed limits."

"Fine." She muttered before adding, "It is pretty."

"It? Pretty? Fuck no.  _She_  is motherfucking gorgeous. Look at the detail in the leather work. Did you see that stitching?"

"Totally." She deadpanned, "I've never seen such quality work."

"Shut up, doll. You have no clue how  _choice_  this ride is."

"How big is the backseat?" She asked with a slow grin, teasing her bottom lip between her incisors.

"Fucking hell, doll." He drawled, his eyes trailing over her with a drunken pace before sliding back to the car. "Big enough."

* * *

Driving along the abandoned strip of blacktop, Negan glanced over at Kayla, who slept against the passenger window. He smirked as he watched her nose wrinkle and sniffle in her sleep like a little kid. Stroking the steering wheel, he smiled wider as he took in the gorgeous vehicle he'd gotten his hands on. He'd always wanted one and when they saw it sitting pretty in that museum, he couldn't help himself. They'd been kicked out, with little to nothing to call their own, the least the world could do for him was give him something awesome to drive.

"Fucking sexy bitch." He muttered with a chuckle, his eyes gliding over the smooth dashboard and gleaming chrome accents.

"I'm beginning to feel like the other woman." Kayla rasped, her eyes fluttering open and lip quirking up on one side.

"Never, dollface. You're my number one girl but this  _cherry_  is a close fucking second." He confessed, his hand fisting the gearshift teasingly. "Fuck, she knows how to handle me. You feel the grip she's got on the road darlin'? I could take a curve going seventy and still stay on course."

"Totally." Kayla drawled, yawning behind her hand. "Where are we?"

"Halfway to Humphrey. I'm going to take us around, before going inside. I'm not about to get pegged by some dickholes who might've claimed it."

"Sounds good."

"You hungry doll?" he asked as her stomach growled aggressively, a scowl deepening his already concerned face.

"I'm fine. We need to ration until we get a better stash."

"Fucking eat something. I'm not going to listen to your stomach bitch all day."

"Negan, we have-"

"Fucking.  _Eat_. Something." He snapped, his irritation for their situation making him lash out frequently. The anger he simmered with from Rick's deceit and ultimate back-stabbing, was still tainting everything. Negan couldn't stand thinking about it and it was impossible to not be consumed by rage every once in awhile. Every moment they scraped by, was another moment he contemplated driving back to Alexandria to gut the scrawny fuck from taint to tongue.

Rolling her eyes, Kayla offered, "I'll eat, if you do."

"I'm not the one with a stomach dissolving itself." Negan retorted, his eyebrow cocked high. "Now, do as I fucking say or else."

"Or else what? You gonna force feed me?"

"I'm going to smack your ass raw."

"Well, maybe I  _want_  my ass smacked raw."

"Happy to obliged,  _sweetcheeks_  but you're still swallowing down some shit food right goddamn now." Negan growled pointing at the bag near her feet. "Eat a fucking bar. Now."

"Yes, sir." She mocked, her nose wrinkled when he grinned lasciviously.

"Yeah.. say that again but  _slower_."

"Go fuck yourself, sir." She goaded, her lips twitching as he growled at her, his hand lunging out to tickle her side. Negan couldn't help but smile back, his wife being the only person on the planet he would allow to speak to him in that way.

"You're lucky you're fucking cute because that type of tongue wagging is un-fucking-acceptable by anyone else."

"Good to know." Kalya commented, biting into a stale granola bar. "Share with me?"

"I'll have a bite but you need it more than me."

"Well that's utter bullshit. You're twice as big as me. You need more calories to run your gangly ass."

"I'm not fucking  _gangly_." He grumbled, looking her over with a narrowed eyes. "You think I'm gangly?"

Laughing at his concerned expression, Kayla held out the bar and quipped, "You're tall as fuck."

"I'm not fucking scrawny though." Negan huffed, looking over his arms with critical eyes. He wasn't going to become some scrawy fuck. No way, no how.

"No but you will be if you don't eat with me."

"Rather eat  _you_." He grumbled, biting a chunk off the bar she offered him, chewing the stale food like it offended his mother. "This shit tastes like cardboard."

"Yeah, they aren't winning any blue ribbons." She commented, brushing crumbs from her shirt but stopping as Negan huffed out a irritated breath.

"Your pie would win. Fuck, it's tasty." Negan groaned, his hand adjusting the crotch of his jeans. Sliding his hooded eyes to hers, he sucked air through his teeth and cocked his head back, daydreaming about it. "I would win the fuck out of that motherfucking pie eating contest."

Chuckling at his exaggerated groaning, she smacked his shoulder. "Shuddup, you pervert."

"Fuck, sweetheart. You're the one who was begging for it last night.  _Oh baby, oh Negan. Make me cum_." He mocked, laughing gruffly as she blushed at his words. Negan couldn't understand how she could be such a dirty girl but flush at the mention of it.

He opened his mouth to throw it out there but saw a sign almost overgrown with kudzu, the words making him turn right without slowing. The squeal of his sexy beast's tires had him grinning wildly, his dark eyes flicking to Kayla's surprised expression.

"What the fuck, Negan?!" She yelped, her hands clutching the door and seat to keep from falling to the side.

"Feel that grip now, darlin'?"

"Asshole! Where we going and why are we in a hurry?"

"Oh, you'll see. Now, tell me babydoll, am I too fast and or too furious for you?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow and a twitching smirk.

Kayla sighed deeply and teased, "Neither your dreadfully slow and irritating as fuck."

"You bruise me, dollface. How're you gonna make it up to me, hmm?" He asked, his eyebrows raised and teeth flashing a cheeky grin.

"Well, I've never given road head." She spoke coyly, her playful eyes watching him squirm in his seat. He growled, while clutching his groin. "God-fucking-damn Kay, you trying to fucking kill us? Fuck, my boner is steering the car and it's going to plow right into your underpass, sweetcheeks."

Laughing riotously, Kayla eventually asked, "Really, where are we going?"

"Home sweet home, sweetheart."

* * *

"Hot diggity dog." Negan exclaimed, slapping Kayla's thigh. "Do you see this shit darlin'? I knew a place called The Thoroughbred Manors would be cool as shit. That is one fine American dream home, don't you think?"

"It's gaudy as fuck." Kayla commented, looking over the huge white columns and marble horse statues framing the doorway.

"Fuck that. It's nice and way goddamn bigger than Prick's dump."

Rolling her eyes at his comment, she peered through the iron fence at the giant mansion and asked, "Okay, well. How're we doing this?"

"Easy peasy, doll. Help me push."

Kayla and Negan both gripped the giant iron gate, manually rolling it back to allow them room to drive through. Once inside Negan parked the car facing out for a quick getaway, if need be.

The grounds were overgrown and half dead, plants that would've needed tender loving care withered with its absence. The fountains were dry and over grown with vines, the once intricate brick patterns covered thick with dandelions and crabgrass.

Sauntering up the front stairs, Negan peered through the dirty glass as Kayla kept lookout at the base of the steps. She glanced back and watched him hop the railing and slid along the house to look into the other rooms. Biting her lip in thought, she couldn't help but enjoy the view. They'd found him real clothing, the man back in boots and black leather. The only thing missing from his familiar silhouette was Lucille, the bat long gone but not forgotten. She'd caught him several times looking for it while exiting the vehicle or building, his gloved hand searching for the worn wood handle on muscle impulse.

He was as attractive as ever and if Kayla were honest, the last couple weeks of them traveling together, had been the best in a very long time. They may be scraping by but she was happier than she'd been in years. She tried to convince herself it wasn't because they'd been fucking like teenagers but knew it played a huge part in it. Licking her lip, as she watched him turn around and head back, Kayla couldn't help but remember what he looked like buried between her thighs the evening before. His hair messy from her clawing hands, his lips swollen and red from rutting into her core like a truffle seeking hog. 'Fuck he's so hot.' She thought while squeezing her legs together.

The man loped back, his tongue swiping across his mischievous grin as he informed her, "Got the place to ourselves, darlin'. I'm thinking we secure it and settle in. I wanna be knee deep in your nethers by nightfall."

* * *

They cleared the home of threats and secured all the doors and windows. Kayla then started searching the lower floors for supplies, while Negan decided to hunt out the perfect bedroom. She opened the door off the kitchen to find an office, the walls lined with shelves of books, trophies and sports memorabilia. She looked over the framed set of boxing gloves and basketball jersey before her flashlight landed on the fireplace mantle. Beneath a plexiglass case, sat a baseball bat with a signature penned across its side. Leaning closer she smirked at the recognizable name.

"I wonder if he's a Ruth fan." She murmured quietly, pinning her flashlight between her shoulder and cheek, while lifting the plastic from the artifact.

Holding the smooth wood, Kayla ponder how much money was spent on the piece of American history and what the good ol' Babe would think of his bat being used to murder.

* * *

Wandering into the large bedroom, Negan claimed for them, Kayla held the bat out of sight behind her back. He was stretched out on the California king mattress, his boots off and jacket hung from one of the four posters.

"Hey, handsome." She murmured, smirking as he curled his finger at her.

"C'mere dollface." Negan rasped, sitting up on his elbows, his lips curled up as he looked her over. "Whatcha got behind that cute little ass of yours?"

"Nothin'."

"Mmhmm. Give it."

"Say please." Kayla encouraged, her lips twitching as he frowned.

"Fuck. Fine.. please give it."

"Okay." She sided up to the bed, pulling the bat from behind her back. "I know it's not Lucille but…"

"Holy fuck. Does that say Ruth?"

One moment she was on her feet and the next she was pinned below the man as he held the Louisville slugger like something precious.

"Jesus fucking Christ doll… you-." Trailing off Negan peered down at her with dark eyes.

Crouching over her on his knees, Negan used one hand to support his broad body as the other held the bat. He stroked the wood up Kayla's ribs softly, circling her breast with a playful smile. "I wanna toss a couple balls at you, babygirl."

Kayla bite her lip and spoke coyly, "I wanna polish your bat with my mitt ."

"Ooh, that's filthy as fuck, doll. " He groaned, his hips grinding in between her legs roughly.

The bat slid up her sternum before he held it close to her mouth. "Kiss it." Negan rasped, his breath heavy and eyes chunks of smoldering coal.

Kayla lifted her head from the pillow, her gaze not leaving his as she swiped her tongue up the side of the slugger, kissing the tip with parted lips. The feral sound that erupted from his chest made her gasp, her eyes widening as adrenaline rushed through her veins. She squeezed his hips between her thighs and thrust upwards as he groaned into her skin. Negan's teeth nipped her neck, sharp stinging pain followed by a seductive rhythm of tongue and suction. She could feel the bruises blooming as he marked her, spread his name all over the delicate curve.

"Negan." She moaned, her fingers curling into his thick hair, tugging his mouth away. "Fucking kiss me. I wanna taste you."

"Goddamn, Kay." He gasped, his mouth only a millimeter away. Kayla could feel the heat radiating from his swollen lips, his breath ghosting over her cheeks. "I love you. I can't even believe you're real sometimes."

"I am." She murmured, her fingers combing into the beard he needed to trim. "We are."

Negan pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, "I wouldn't want to go back if given the choice. I'd rather be out here with you. And I'm not just saying this because I'm about to grand slam my hammy into your moon pie."

A burst of laughter escaped her curled lips, as she clutched his neck tightly. She loved his filthy mouth and ridiculous metaphors.

Negan chuckled, kissing the tip of her nose. "Fucking, adorable."

"Shush. What happened to us fucking?"

"You're the one distracting me, giggling like a school girl. Oh fuck, we should find you one of those little plaid things. Fuck on a stick, I'd bang you on the hood of the Chevy, right on the highway."

"Not on the highway. That's asking for fucking trouble."

"In the garage?"

"Why do I have a feeling you went straight to the outrageous idea to ensure you'd get at least half of your demands with compromise?"

"Because you know I'm a fucking genius."

"How crafty."

"You wanna see crafty, let me rub my glue stick all over those tit-ties. Yank off those panties sweet cheeks."

"I love you too you know. I don't wanna be anywhere else."

Negan huffed out a breath his eyes flicking away in embarrassment. "Yeah, yeah. Shuddup and spread 'em already."

"God, you sound like my prom date." She joked.

Scoffing, Negan leaned forward kissing her softly until her tongue twisted around his. The air changing instantly, the buzz of blood in her ears becoming deafening. They were panting into each other's mouths, pulling apart in order to keep from blacking out of oxygen deprivation.

"Fuck me already, Negan. I can't..." she gasped, her eyes hooded, "please."

Tugging his jeans down, he grabbed the throbbing ache between his legs, stroking her clit and lips with it.

"So fucking wet." He grunted, sliding down to her entrance. The pressure of his short plunges began to increase, the thick head stretching her deliciously. "Oh god, babygirl." Negan moaned, bowing his head into her neck in prayer. "Sweet fucking Christ."

Bottoming out with a loud groan, Negan began rolling his hips in broad strokes, occasionally plunged in sharply. Kayla clung to his neck and arms, her fingers pinching his skin as her head was thrown back. Her curled lips were parted and her eyes fluttering. Negan took her hands from his shoulders, weaving their fingers together above her head. He rested on his elbows, his mouth brushing hers gently as he ground into her with deep rolling thrusts.

"So good, sweetheart. So  _damn_  good."

"I need..."

"I got you. I got you, doll." He purred, his tongue swiping her bottom lip, while he released one hand. Cupping her tightly, he used three fingers to rub quick swipes across her clit while rutting into her. "Come on, baby. Cum for me."

"Fuck.." she moaned, her hips snapping upwards making his fingers press harder and faster. "Y-yeah. Yes. I'm g-"

"Fuck, yeah." He growled deeply, his chest vibrating against hers as he devoured every nuance of her orgasm. Kayla jolted underneath him, her body twitching with sensitivity. "Shit. Fuck." She cursed gripping his wrist. "Stop... fuck."

"No." He growled, rubbing tight circles as she tried to pull his fingers from her twitching hood. "Cum again. Fuck. Kay let me hear you again and then I'll cum so deep.  _So. Fucking. Deep._ "

Her breath hitched at his words, her walls clamping down on him as the man extracted yet another climax. Kayla's vision faded, her breath so short she felt dizzy. Negan kept going but kissed her cheek. "Breath baby. Fuck you're so tight, I can't stop. Shit. Easy, doll. Breath."

Kayla slowed her breath as he lifted her hips from the bed, pulling her into his lap and wrapping her body in crushing arms. Thrusting upward he plunged into her core over and over until shoving himself inside to the root. "Son of a fucking fuck."

Rolling his hips with a stuttered pace, Negan came deep and hard. "Holy fuck." He moaned into her tits while sucking and kissing them. Keeping her in his lap, Negan held her with a strong forearm around her lower back, as his other trailed up her side. His fingers tips stroked the curve of her breast and along the dip of her collarbone before tracing her lips. They stared at each other for a long contemplative moment, both with blown pupils and parted lips. He stay inside her, the thickness still twitching and hard.

"I wanna live inside your pussy." He rasped, a smile flickering over his lips.

"Sorry, its only available for hourly rentals."

"Dirty girl."


	3. Chapter 3

Negan crouched next to a dirty suburban stuck in the mud, siphoning gas for what felt like the thousandth time in a matter of days. He wasn't going to utter a word of complaint though because the look of smugness Kayla had, every fucking time the gas light came on in the Impala, was enough to sew his lips shut.

"Smug bitch." He grunted, pushing himself upright with a groan. "Gettin' too old for this shit."

Rubbing his neck of sweat, he peered over the abandoned highway to see Kayla rooting through the trunk of a car. She flipped him the bird when she caught him leering at her perky ass bent over the bumper.

Snorting, he wandered back towards her with a grin spreading across his face. "Find anything worth taking?"

"Golf clubs." She scoffed.

"Really? Any balls?"

" _Enough_  with the balls jokes." She scoffed in irritation.

"No, seriously. I'd love to hit some balls."

Rolling her eyes, she tossed a canister of golf balls at him. Grinning like a kid on christmas, he pulled out a club from the trunk and rolled his shoulders. Propping a ball on a tee, Negan stood in position and took a wide swing, twisting his hips and extending his arms with practiced ease. The ball sailed down the highway, bouncing off a cement barrier and into the woods.

"Boom goes the dynamite." He bellowed, pointing the club down the warm blacktop like a game show host. "See how far I got that one, sweet cheeks?"

"Yep, it was very impressive." Kayla deadpanned, standing with her hip cocked to the side and arms crossed.

"I know right?" He blatantly ignored her snark and hit another round down the highway, the little white ball smashing straight through the windshield of a police cruiser.

"And bingo was his name-o." Negan chortled, pointing at the car emphatically. "Fucking bulls-goddamn-eye doll. I was aiming for that shit. Fuck the  _po_ -lice."

Kayla finally snickered at his antics, earning her a satisfied leer from Negan. She leaned against the Impala with a grin and drawled, "Are we done fuckin' around or what?"

"Come on, Kay. Take a shot. Try to hit the bacon-mobile. I dare you." Negan goaded, his eyebrow raised and grin taunting. If there was one thing he enjoyed, it was rubbing it when he was better at something than Kayla. She would pout without knowing it, her bottom lip gnawed and swollen. He'd watch her stew on it, while he prodded the sore spot, until they argued and inevitably fucked. Smirking wolfishly at her, Negan licked the corner of his mouth at the thought of it.

"Ooooh. You  _dare_  me, huh?"

"I double-fucking-dog dare you."

Taking the club with an exaggerated sigh, Kayla set up a golfball and stood in position. Negan couldn't stop himself from stepping up behind her, his hands grasping her hips, as he rolled his groin teasingly into her ass. Dragging his whisker-covered lips up her neck, to just behind her ear, he rasped, "Gotta bend a little baby. Loosen these hot fucking hips."

"I know how to play." She muttered, smacking his hands away.

"Well,  _excuse_  the fuck out of me." He mocked, waving a welcoming arm to the road. "Have at then,  _Tiger_."

Stepping away, he leaned against the bumper and prepared to rub that shit in.

Pulling her arms back with confidence, the club swung out and around, hitting the ball with a sharp crack. They watched it sail down the road, bypassing the cop car by a dozen more feet. Negan's mouth dropped open, as it landed in the back of a garbage truck like it belonged there.

"Blam-o." Kayla mocked, waving the club in the air like he did. "Did you see that  _sweetcheeks_? Right in the ol' dumper."

Negan stared at her for a long second before he bellowed with laughter, his arms wrapping his stomach as he cackled.

'This  _fucking_  woman.' he thought before he gasped, "Oh my fucking God... doll... I am rubbing off on you.  _Je-sus_."

"You  _wish_  you were rubbing off on me. Now come on, jackass. We have a couple hours before we hit Humphrey and  _you_  wanted to circle it first."

Licking his lip, he bite his tongue teasingly as she flushed under his leer. "Fine but later we're going to revisit this whole rubbing off on you thing. It sounds like a mighty goddamn good plan, dollface."

* * *

Humphrey was located on the outskirts of a suburb in West Virginia, the town not quite big enough to be considered a city. After circling the area and finding no outward signs of life, Negan and Kayla headed in on foot. Leaving the flashy car hidden in a garage for safekeeping, the pair kept a low profile. If they ended up needing a vehicle to transport their finds, they'd steal another and return to the Impala.

Negan kept glancing at Kayla, her hair raked up off the sides and twisted into braids. He could see the long line of her neck covered in the fading bruises of his over eager mouth, the sight turning him on fiercely. Licking his teeth, he commented, "I like when you pull your hair up. Shows off my handy work."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla muttered, "Looks like I got bit by a wild dog."

Chuckling quietly without comment, Negan held a broken chainlink fence open for her as they entered town. "Ladies first."

"Look." She muttered, pointing at the large sign up ahead. Spray painted in red and framed with hanging corpses the billboard stated.

_"If you can't beat 'em. Join 'em."_

Negan laughed gruffly, his elbow bumping Kayla's. "That is some morbid fucking humor."

"I don't think it's a joke."

"I laughed." He quipped, winking at her.

"Well, you're a sick fuck."

"And you  _love_  it."

"I suppose I do."

They kept to the shadows of the two story brick buildings, skirting through alleyways and side streets. They kept track of possible scavenge spots, as well as vehicles to check for possible getaway options.

Negan was standing watch, as Kayla checked out the entrance to a large building with multiple private practice doctor offices. They wanted to stock up on anything they could use later on down the road. Eventually one of them would get hurt or sick and Negan wanted them prepared. He would be goddamned if he let his wife die because they couldn't find a sterile bandage or some antibiotics.

"I can try to pick it but it's a newer lock, not sure I can do it."

"We can just take out a window."

"Too loud. There are a couple windows already broken on the second floor." Kayla offered, her narrowed eyes looking over the second story of the brick building.

"Well, how the fuck are we getting to those?" Negan snorted, raising an eyebrow while tipping his chin to her backpack. "You got a magic Mary fucking Poppin's umbrella in that satchel?"

"Wow, never pegged you as a musical fan." Kayla goaded, her lips twisting into a teasing smirk.

"Doll, you'll never have me fucking  _pegged_." He drawled, flashing her a grin and wink.

"Har, har. We could try the roof. Maybe there's an easier access point."

"Sounds better than bringing a herd to us by breaking shit. Think there's a fire escape out back?"

"Hopefully. If not we'll have to break in."

* * *

The alley behind the office had similar door locks, all of which were firmly sealed. Kayla tried her hand at picking it but with the new mechanism, it was impossible without better tools. Sighing, she glanced at Negan who stood with his new bat, his gaze on the street behind them. Biting her lip, she looked over his ass and wide shoulders, she wasn't sure why but she couldn't stop drooling over him. Lately all she'd wanted to do was ride his face and cock, until the sun came up and even then it wouldn't be enough.

"You checking me out darlin'?"

"Yes. I can't get enough of you." She replied honestly, flashing him a flirty grin. "Now can your gangly ass reach the ladder?"

"Call me gangly  _one.. more.. time_  and I'm withholding the fuckstick you're obsessed with riding." Negan drawled cockily, his eyebrows raised as he cupped his groin graphically.

Snorting, Kayla smacked his ass and quipped, "I'm not holding my breath for the day  _you_  turn  _me_  down."

"Oh doll, you'll regret that. I can hold out just fine." He assured, reaching for the emergency ladder after flashing his pearly whites.

"Sure and I'm the Queen of England."

"Well get that tight, royal ass over here so I can toss it... " Negan teased, swiping his bottom lip hungrily before adding, "up there."

Kayla snickered, her cheeks flushing as he grabbed her ass playfully. She smacked his shoulder and laughed, "Come on then, King Dick. Try not to throw out your back."

* * *

The pair stood on the rooftop and looked over the area, Kayla's shoulder pressed against Negan's ribs, as he wrapped an arm around her.

"You see that doll?" he rasped, tipping his chin to the building in the distance.

"There's no way that isn't raided or taken." She commented, her eyes narrowing at the sight of the food distribution center.

"Either way, we gotta check it out." He commented, squeezing her closer and towards his chest. Peering down at her, he drawled, "You scared?"

"No, I just want to be safe. We need to do this cautiously."

Rolling his eyes, Negan leaned down and kissed her softly. "It'll be fine. We'll circle it and look for anyone. Yada, yada, yada. Find us a big stash of food and live like fucking Kings.. well King and Queen."

"What planet are you on, Negan?" she scoffed, pulling back to glance at the building again. From the distance it looked so innocuous, it fences still standing and parking lots clear of dead but it backed up to the woods. There could be anything or anyone in the long tree line and there was no way to know until they were within clueless idiot target range.

"What?" he grunted, turning her back to face him. "It could still be full of all kinds of useful shit."

"There isn't much left in this world and what is, isn't sitting in a warehouse plain as day." She replied, rolling her eyes as Negan glared at her.

"Have a little faith, dollface. This shithole is in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere."

"Not really. It's near the interstate, which means all kinds of traffic could've come through here." She insisted, her nerves rising the more she thought about it.

Sighing deeply, Negan rubbed his scruffy jaw and asked, "So what do you think? We skip it?"

"No… I mean it would be a good find."

"Exact-fucking-ly. So why are you bitching?" he growled in frustration, throwing a hand up in the air.

"I'm not bitching. I'd like to plan ahead. I don't want to just walk up to the doors and knock."

"Sweetheart, I don't fucking knock. I kick the goddamn door in."

* * *

Negan wasn't sure how they ended up surrounded by a group of 'Appalachian looking motherfuckers' but he had sneaking suspicion Kayla would blame him.

'We're fucking fucked.' He grumbled inwardly, his hooded eyes scanning the rough looking crowd, while kneeling next to Kayla. The position was way too familiar, only he should be the one swinging his dick around and bashing heads in. The karma face-fuck wasn't lost on him. Negan saw it for what it was, his day of reckoning.

Glancing at Kayla again, he couldn't help but wish he'd listened to her. They should've kept walking and not tried such a huge risk on their own without proper planning. If they survived, Negan was for goddamn sure listening to his wife once in a while, from now on. Maybe.

"Ya trespassin'." The gaunt man drawled, his narrowed eyes looking them over as his group kept them at the end of their barrels. "Ain't the type to take kindly to strangers entering my property."

"Maybe you should post some kind of signage, you know something catchy like 'Cousin Fucker Estates'?" Negan drawled, flashing him a wide smile. It didn't seem to matter to Negan that he wasn't commanding an army of Saviors to back up his actions any longer. He would never lose his big mouth.

The nearest man moved quickly, the shiny blade slicing straight through Negan's leather jacket and into his side. Groaning in pain Negan tried to pull away but the attacker twisted the knife sharply, tearing him open further. He could feel blood pouring down his side and could hear Kayla screaming out as they held her down but his attention was on the guy in front of him. Shoving him away with a broad shoulder, Negan felt the blade yank from his body with a squelch.

A hard object cracked the back of his skull, causing him to fall on his side and grunt in pain as the stomach wound pooled blood on the ground.

"Negan!" Kayla panicked voice brought his droopy eyes around. He saw her pinned to the ground, her cheek pressed into rough concrete as she struggled with them. Trying to ease her worry, he smiled but he could tell it was strained. Pulling the pair from the ground, the group dragged them into a metal shed before dropping them to the dusty floor.

Negan groaned as his side pulled open further with a sharp lance of pain. Kayla scrambled over to him when the door slammed shut, her face frantic.

"Fuck." He grunted, squeezing his eyes shut while hissing a breath through his teeth. He'd really screwed the pooch on this one. Not only had he gotten them caught, his big mouth had gotten himself shanked by an inbred asshole.

"Jesus, baby." She panted, her bound wrist useless to help stop the bleeding. "Fuck, tell me what to do. What do I do?"

"Not a fucking clue, doll." He muttered before closing his heavy eyes.

* * *

Kayla was poised over Negan protectively, despite the bounds wrists behind her back; the woman was ready to kill. She eyed the man who entered, his gaze trailing over her crouched form, before looking over her injured husband with a toothless smirk. Negan tried to sit up but Kayla pressed her hand against his shoulder, keeping him still to prevent more damage to his wound.

"Well ain't that cute. Mama bear protectin' 'er cub."

"Go fuck yourself." Negan sneered, ducking Kayla's protective hands, only to groan, as the motion tugged at his injury. Growling in frustration under her breath, Kayla kept her eyes on the man approaching her.

"Uh-uh. I ain't fuckin' myself but l'fuck this hot lil' cooze."

Kayla bared her teeth, an anger growing inside her like nothing before. She would tear him limb from limb, before allowing what he had planned, happen. There would never be a repeat of such an invasion, her experience with it muddled, but still prevalent. It was years ago that she woke to drowsy flashes of being taken advantage of, fellow survivors using her as a toy.  _Never_  again.

"You'll choke on your own dick, if you lay a fucking finger on me." She sneered, her chest heaving. "Just try it you  _fat_  fuck."

The man swung a clumsy and untrained fist at her, his lips curled angrily. Dodging it with ease, Kayla kneed him in the balls while bringing her forehead down hard on his nose. The crunch of the cartilage could be heard over his gurgled groan, the man cupping his crushed testicles and face. With unsteady feet, he collapsed to his knees, giving Kayla the perfect target for a well-placed kick to the face.

Seeing him almost incapacitated, she kneed him on the underside of his jaw, before shoving him to the ground with her boot. Showing no mercy, she kicked his hands out of the way, while slamming her heel into his face and neck until he stopped moving.

Growling at the bloodied corpse, she spat on him. "Fuck.  _You_."

Panting, she took in the total destruction she caused and wanted to puke, while simultaneously celebrate. 'Fuck him and fuck all the rest.' She thought with a blazing rage heating her chest and cheeks. 'Fuck 'em all.'

Turning around she found Negan staring at her with a combination of pride and lust. His skin was pale and face drawn but his desire far from gone.

"Get the fuck over here."

With her arms still tied, she shuffled over on heavy, exhausted legs and knelt next to him. She looked over his blood splattered face and the wound, which was still leaking from under his jacket.

"You did good." He rasped, gently pressing his forehead against hers. "You killed the fuck out of him."

"Yeah." She croaked, squeezing her eyes shut a moment before peering into his dark gaze.

"Now we gotta kill the fuck out of the rest of the pussies in our way or we're dead. You with me?" His voice was weaker than normal but his words strong, he wasn't rolling over for anyone and Kayla couldn't agree more. They weren't dying tied in a shed like fresh caught kills.

"Negan, it's more like are you with me? Not sure you noticed but your insides, are almost hanging on your outsides."

"Fucking hell, doll. I hadn't noticed. Shit..." He coughed gruffly. "I liked this fucking shirt too."

"I'll sew it, that's what the little woman does right?"

Smirking at her, Negan murmured, "Damn fucking straight."

"Okay, but you've got to stay with me. Don't  _fucking_  die on me, alright?"

"I'm peachy keen."

" _Negan_."

Nodding, he kissed her lips softly and promised, "I'm with you. Now search that fat fuck and let's get the hell outta here."

* * *

They snuck along the outer wall, Negan limping behind Kayla as she took point. His side was in need of stitches immediately, the wound soaking his pants to almost his ankle. Despite her own injuries, Kayla was in the best condition to get them out of the compound. She kept her head swiveling, her critical eyes catching everything. Negan kept getting flashes of her stomping the fat fucker like a kid in a mud puddle. Her boots and pants were drenched in blood. He knew he was a sick fuck when he got hard, watching her turn around after murdering someone, thinking she looked hotter than seven shades of hell.

'If I wasn't bleeding to death, I'd fuck her 'til next Tuesday.' He grunted inwardly, his head throbbing as the beating he took and blood loss, had him woozy.

"Stop." She whispered, her body at the very edge of the building. Peeking around the corner, Kayla glanced at him and held up two fingers, signaling how many enemies were around the corner.

Negan stayed still as she waited for the guards to pass by. It was a long few seconds before they were on the move again, heading towards the vehicle they were brought in. Kayla crouched next to it while, Negan rest heavily against the fender, his breathing heavy and sweat pouring from his forehead. She glanced at him when he groaned slightly as his wound pulsed with pain.

"We get one shot at this." She whispered, "you get in the back seat on the floor."

"You remember how to hotwire?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. On three."

They counted down and were about to open the door when the sound of feet on gravel caught Kayla's attention. She crouched near the bumper and waited for whoever was coming, the stolen knife ready to kill.

The body came around the corner and was clutched by Kayla's tight fist and slammed to the ground. She smashed her hand over their mouth and jammed the blade deep into their neck instantly. The dark cloaked them in shadows but as a cloud passed over the moon, they saw she'd just killed a young teen, the boy no more than thirteen.

"Fuck." She hissed, her eyes jumping to Negan's.

"No time." He murmured, seeing the turmoil in her eyes instantly. Growling, she opened the squeaky door to the backseat and helped Negan inside, before climbing into the front of the Bronco. He could hear her popping the steering column open and then the car roared to life. They were driving almost instantly, Kayla not waiting for the fallout of their escape and subsequent murder of two of their people. Gunshots pinged off the metal and glass exploded around him as they hit the back window.

"Stay low." Kayla shouted right before they plowed through the chainlink fencing. He could hear shouting and the sound of the metal fencing dragging behind them. The engine roared as she drove like a bat out of hell, the tires squealing as she took corners and curves going far too fast.

"Don't kill us." He shout over the deafening rush of air filling the car with all the broken windows.

When she didn't answer, Negan peeled himself off the carpet and sat up. He noticed they were out of the woods and flying through the city towards their own vehicle and supply stash. They had medical supplies back at the Impala, thankfully recently scavenged.

"Slow down, doll."

"No." She barked, her eyes flicking to his as they floored it down a straightaway. "You're bleeding to death."

"I'm not."

"Negan, you're as white as a fucking ghost. Put pressure on the fucking wound now!" She ordered in a voice he'd never heard.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, he realized she wasn't lying. His face was as pale as a sheet of paper, his eyes dark pits.

"Fuck." He grunted, resting back to put more pressure on his stab wound. Negan didn't want to admit it but the sight had worried him. He didn't want to be taken out like some pussy with a stab wound, leaving Kayla with the mess of putting him down.

They reached the neighborhood holding their stash and pulled into another house's driveway. Kayla jumped out and tugged the garage door open, the metal scraping echoed around the neighborhood. He struggled to get out but soon she was back in the driver seat hiding the Bronco inside.

They exited the garage and she closed it, hiding the get away car just in case the group searched the area for them. She helped him over to the home holding the Impala and their supplies, her hand gripping his belt to keep him upright. Negan's long arm wrapped her shoulder, the man feeling like a total asshole having his wife drag him like a disobedient child.

"Easy." She murmured as he tried to keep his weight from crushing her. "I've got you. Stop being stubborn."

"Ain't a fucking pussy."

"No shit. You have a stab wound in your gut and you're still telling me how to fucking drive. Now get your sorry ass in the dining room." She ordered while shuffling them to the flat surface of the table.

After some struggle with his clothing, Negan got to see the damaged inflicted by the large knife. He grimaced as he saw the gravity of it, the slice cutting through abdomen muscle and torn by the twisting of the blade.

"Fuck."

"Yeah.  _Fuck_. Lay down. This is going to be painful."

"You survived being skinned. I can do this shit." Negan scoffed, subtly swallowing thickly at the thought.

"Yeah well, I wasn't exactly quiet about it and you need to be. Bite on this."

"I'm not into ball gags baby. Well maybe for you."

"Negan." She snapped, her voice wavering. Closing her eyes a moment, she took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. When her eyes fluttered open, they were teary and scared. Cupping her face, his brushed away a spilled tear and rasped, "tell me what I gotta do."

"Lay down and bite that belt."

* * *

Kayla watched Negan sleeping on the dining table, his side finally sewn shut and bandaged. She sat in a chair next to his side, her hands still covered in his blood and trembling. Nothing had ever terrified her more than the moment she saw his wound. There would've been no way to survive it, if they hadn't found supplies recently. Even still, Negan was in grave condition. The antibiotics were not a full cycle and were probably weak after expiring so long ago. None of that would even matter though, if he couldn't survive the shear amount of blood he lost.

Grabbing a spare towel, she wet her hands and washed what she could from her skin. Her mind flashed back to the compound and the kid she killed to escape. Closing her eyes tightly, she remembered his surprised eyes and frightened face. He'd been a redhead, his freckled nose and green eyes reminding her of Georgie. She could still feel his mouth pressed to the palm of her hand and the way his blood poured over the fist holding the blade.

"Goddamnit." She murmured, rubbing her eyes as the exhaustion hit her. Sleep was out of the question though, there were too many terrible things that could go wrong if she shut her eyes.

Leaving the dining room, Kayla searched all the covered windows for signs of life outside. She found a few wandering dead but nothing else. In the morning, if Negan was stable enough, they would get in their car and get the hell out of West Virginia. She wasn't going to risk the group finding them again, not while Negan was so incapacitated.

Checking on him, she rest two fingers against his pulse and felt the steady rhythm. Her eyes closed as she felt it, the sensation calming her own racing heart.

"Still kickin'." He rasped, his voice hoarse and weak. Kayla's eyes shot open and she leaned over to see him in the low light.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like dogshit on the bottom of some fat fucks boot heel. How about you?" He asked gruffly, his lip twitching in humor.

"Like I just played Susie homemaker on your guts." She quipped, her voice far too unsteady to pull off the joke. Negan grunted, his hand grazing her jaw before returning to the table. "I'm peachy, dollface. No more tears."

Nodding, Kayla sat down heavily and rest her arms on the table next to his shoulder. His head rolled to look at her with heavy lidded eyes, the gaze taking in the sight of her by the lone tealight burning.

"Need to clean up." He rasped, his normal gravelly tone even deeper.

"You can't move right now."

"No. You do. You're face is all scraped up. You hurt anywhere else?"

For the first time that evening, she actually took stock of her own injuries. Kayla could feel bruises all over her legs and ribs, her arms ringed with fingerprints from being restrained. Her eyes were sore and swollen from either violence or exhaustion, she wasn't sure. There was a knot on her forehead from head butting the attacker and she wasn't positive but it felt as though someone had left an imprint of their boot on her back.

"Bruises." She replied, pressing on her tender ribs. "Nothing's broken."

"Clean those scratches."

"I'd rather save our supplies for you."

"I'd rather you not die because you're a stubborn twat."

Narrowing her eyes, Kayla winced as it pulled at the scrapes. Giving in, she wet a clean hand towel and washed her face and neck. Once cleared of dirt and blood, she let Negan apply antibiotic ointment and small bandage.

"Just what I need is more fucking scars on my face." She muttered, pressing the band-aids edges down.

"One it won't scar and two, even if it did you're still a fucking knockout. If I had any blood left right now, it'd be in my dick because your shirts all wet and I can see those lovely sweater puppies."

"Go back to sleep Negan."

"Only cuz I'm tired,  _not_  because you told me to."

"Whatever shuts you the fuck up."

 


	4. Chapter 4

"You're not driving my girl." Negan growled, from his spot on the plaid sofa, as Kayla packed the last of the supplies.

"You want to wait for those fucks to find us?" She asked, yanking the zipper closed forcefully, her frustrated eyes jumping to his. "Because I don't think I want to see what they will do to us, now that I've killed one of their kids and torn their fences down."

"You did what you had to." He scoffed, rolling his eyes heavily.

"Yeah well, I'm going to keep doing what I have to, even if it means stuffing your stubborn ass in the trunk. We are  _leaving_  today."

"That's fine. I'll drive." Negan flashed her a cocky grin and a quick wink for good measure.

"You can't drive with your side split open. Stop fighting me on this." Kayla sighed, raking a hand through her tangled hair.

"Sweetheart, I love you but if you don't shut your pretty fucking mouth and do as I say, I'm gonna throttle you." He growled, swiping his tongue across the straight edge of his teeth.

"Try it and I'll make it possible for you to  _literally,_ go fuck yourself." She sneered back, her dark eyes narrowed and determined. "Besides, I have these."

Negan glared at her when she pulled the keys from her pants pockets and jangled them.

"So, shut you big mouth and get the fuck in. I promise not to crash  _your girl._ "

"Are you jealous, baby?" Negan teased, his eyebrows raised mockingly.

"Of a hunk of metal and four wheels? No, I'm not jealous."

"Don't deny it, sweetheart. My girl, rubs your kitten the wrong way."

Rolling her eyes at his leer, Kayla tried a different tactic, turning her voice soft and teasing. "I figured you'd want to  _watch_ me drive her."

Negan's eyes trailed over her a moment before he laughed gruffly, while holding his side, "Good try, doll. I'm always up from some girl on girl, the more pussy the better, I always say, but I still don't trust you to drive her."

"It doesn't fucking matter what you want, Negan." She snapped, her patience for the whole conversation reaching its limit. "You're laying down in the backseat and I'm driving. You're going to shut up and do as I say or you can keep arguing and  _finally_  get us killed."

His eyes narrowed at her blatant finger pointing, his jaw tightening as the air thickened. "Why don't you just say what you mean, Kayla?"

If the use of her name, rather than a pet one, hadn't clued her in on his anger, the pure fire in his eyes would have. Not that it stopped her from speaking her mind.

"I think I'm being perfectly fucking clear, Negan. Your huge goddamn ego almost got us killed,  _again_. Remember the first time we were on our own? I ended up almost raped then too because you had to take and take. You wouldn't listen then and you don't now because you think you're still King Shithead of Shitsville. So listen to me once in a goddam while. I used to live out here on my own. I sometimes know what the fuck I'm talking about. So please, for the love of Christ, get in the goddamn fucking car and shut your huge fucking mouth!"

Her chest was heaving by the time she completed her rant, her fists tight and back rigid. Negan slowly pushed himself up from the sofa and sauntered towards her. Dipping his head to speak into her ear, Negan rasped, "If I didn't have a hole in my side the size of Texas, I'd put you over my knee for speaking to me like that."

"Well, too fucking bad because that sounds more appealing than me babying your giant gangly ass." She huffed, brushing passed him, only to be caught by his large hand curling around her elbow. Yanking her backwards and into his chest, Kayla heard him grunt as she jolted his injury.

"Calm your tits, sweetheart." He growled, his hot breath on the shell of her ear. "You're lucky I'm hurting or I'd be real salty about this attitude you've developed."

"I'm not lucky you're hurting, jackass." She retorted, rolling eyes to his. "You're an even bigger pain in my ass now."

Laughing gruffly, Negan cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her firmly. Kayla sunk into the gesture, reveling in the taste and feel of his tongue sliding against hers.

"M'sorry I got us fucked sideways the other day." He murmured against her cheek as he kissed along her jaw, his words breathed against her skin. "I'll listen to your advice from now on."

"That's all I want. I know you know shit but so do I." She muttered with a sigh, her hands curling into his jacket.

"Alright. So where are we going?"

"We're getting out of West Virginia."

"And going where?"

"I was looking over the maps-."

"Without me?"

"You were sleeping."

"So do I get a choice or has Mommy Dearest decided?" Negan sneered, his mood flipping once again.

Rolling her eyes, Kayla replied, "Don't be a prick."

"Don't. Fucking call me a  _prick."_ He snapped, making Kayla flinch at the sharpness. "I fucking told you once, don't make me tell you again."

Clenching her teeth, Kayla stepped away and picked up both their duffle bags, leaving the room without another word. She was done speaking to and being yelled at by the overgrown child. Negan had been impossible since his injury and three days of being the only moving target had been far too long.

Tossing the bags with a growl into the trunk, she then tugged the garage door open manually. Finding a few corpses roaming in the driveway, she slid her machete out with an enthused smirk. She need to take her frustration out on something and the dead always worked well.

Shoving one with her boot, Kayla slammed her blade into its skull, ending it's lumbering. Spinning around she swung the weapon high enough to bury it through another corpses face, the giant thing crumpling to the side. Growling she released the grip as the bone caught against the blades edge making it too time consuming to remove. Yanking out her back up knife, she lunged at the last creature, shoving the pointy tip through the underside of its rotten jaw and ending its too long life. Tar-like blood gushed over her hand and sprayed her cheek, as she severed its brain stem. Kicking its knees out, she shoved it aside with a snarl, flicking the gore from her hand and knife blade.

Glancing behind her she found, Negan opening the passenger door to slide into the front seat. Her eyes widen at the sight of him actually taking another seat besides the driver's side.

"Well, get the lead out of your tight ass and get this fucking show on the road, dollface. Daylights wastin'."

* * *

They passed the border into Pennsylvania just as a storm broke overhead, thick clouds dropping rain and hail as though the end of times. Kayla pulled their vehicle into a barn while Negan shouted about damage to the paint from the hailstones.

Jumping from the car, Kayla peered outside and saw the sign of a large storm still heading their way.

"We need to find a cellar." She shouted at Negan, who was looking over the body of his precious car. "I think it's a tornado!"

"Jesus fucking Christ." He grumbled, looking towards the ominous looking clouds in the distance. "Think this place has one?"

"Most farms do, right?"

"What do I look like, Old Mc-Fucking-Donald? Fuck if I know."

Kayla snorted and looked at him, "I can almost picture you in overalls."

Smirking, Negan tipped his chin to the house. "Lets move our ass's to find out. Wait... shit."

"What?"

"What about the car?"

"What about it? You think you can bring it with?" Kayla asked, raising her voice as the winds picked up, rattling the barn doors.

"Goddamn it." He huffed, following her to the house as the clouds dumped heavy rain and hail. Bursting into the house, they found it blissfully empty and covered in dust. No one had been there in quite some time.

"Sit down." She ordered, going to the door to grab what belongings they had. Kayla had a terrible feeling a tornado was coming and the barn was far from sturdy, the wood planks swaying in the winds. The Impala may very well not be there after the storm passed.

"I'm not sitting down, while you run the fuck around getting yourself killed."

"Find the cellar then." She shouted as she yanked the door open, slamming it shut and running into the storm. She didn't bother trying to find cover with her clothes being soaked already. Hail pelted her face and back, as the winds whipped in all directions. The rain was almost horizontal, as a huge gust swept through, the sharp needling of drops making her flinch.

Reaching the barn, Kayla tumbled inside and slammed into the back of the Impala. Groaning at the sudden impact, she opened the trunk and began hauling any bag she could carry. With a backpack strapped to her and each arm carrying a duffle bag, she knew getting back to the house was going to be almost impossible. Peering out the door, she saw tree limbs shoot passed and debris flying through the air.

"Fuck." She growled moments before running as fast as she could to the farmhouse. She slipped on mud but regained her footing soon after, her boots sloshing through deepening puddles. Negan yanked the door open and grabbed her by the jacket, tugging her inside forcefully. He dragged her in as the wind shuddered the house, the windows rattling violently.

"Go! The cellar." He ordered, pushing her towards the cellar entrance in the kitchen. They both stumbled down the stairs, the bags thrown to the side as they barricaded the door with two wood slats. The wind howled outside, the house creaking and groaning as the storm magnified above them.

Huddling in a corner, surrounded by the river rock foundation and thick wood beams, they were as safe as they could be considering the violent conditions outside. Negan wrapped his arms around Kayla's shivering body, both flinching at the sound of windows being blown out and shattered.

"I love you." Kayla shouted over the frightening sounds tearing the world above them apart, her fingers clutching his leather jacket. Negan's hands woven into her hair tilted her face upwards, the man kissing her as though it were their last moments together. He panted onto her lips, while pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you."

A horrible crash happened and the sound of the wind grew louder. Kayla's wide eyes looked up as the floor above them shuddered with the huge gusts.

"House is gone." Negan shouted, his arms tightening around Kayla as he cupped her head to his chest. "Don't let go, baby. Don't fucking let go."

She wound her arms around his torso and clutched his jacket as boards began to pull up, sheets of rain suddenly falling into the basement.

"Oh my god." She gasped, her entire body shaking in fear as another gust violent tore a huge slab of flooring away. Water poured into the basement, hail ricocheting off the cement flooring and stone walls. Just as she thought they were going to be sucked straight up into the eye of the storm, it passed on, the winds slowly and rains turning to just heavy drops. Kayla panted heavily, her fingers numb from clawing at Negan's jacket. He wasn't in much better shape; his arms and legs surrounding her were bone crushingly tight.

"Are you okay?" He asked as she shook in his arms. "Kay, talk to me."

Her teeth chattered loudly as fear rattled her bones. "Y-y-yeah."

"Breath baby. Easy sweetheart." He rasped into her ear, his hands smoothing up and down her back. Digging her face into his chest she couldn't help but burst into tears. The last few days had been the most difficult and emotionally upsetting since Alexandria. The attack from the other group, Negan's injury and subsequent run for their lives, had been hard enough. Now they'd narrowly escaped death via natural disaster and Kayla couldn't stop the over flowing of emotions.

"I got ya." Negan murmured over and over, his mouth kissing her cold skin, while rocking her back and further. "You're safe, baby girl. I've got you."

Her sobs died down as exhaustion hit, driving for the entire day, after not sleeping much for the last three days, had worn her to the bone. Negan shifted his body in discomfort, alerting Kayla to his injury.

"Shit. I'm sorry." She muttered, moving away, while trying to check his wound.

"I'm fine but you need dry clothes."

Shivers racked her body, her temperature finally registering to her as the danger passed. Rain was still falling into the cellar with them but it was significantly lighter. Shuffling through debris, Kayla dug out the bag containing some clothing. She striped down and changed into thicker pants and a clean sweater. Rejoining Negan, she peeked at his injury finding it spotting more than before.

"Gotta be careful, you pulled at your stitches."

"I wasn't thinking about it while Mother Nature was kicking my balls into my throat." He rasped, raking wet hair from his face.

Chuckling, Kayla pulled out new clothing for him as well when she looked him over fully.

"Do we stay here?" She asked, as she helped him pull his shirt off.

"Got no idea if it'll head back or if there are more and it'll be dark as fuck in less than an hour."

"Yeah... do you think the barn made it?"

"Don't ask me. With our luck, I'm going to say there isn't a chance in hell."

* * *

Negan wouldn't admit it but watching a tornado rip the world apart around him, was one of the scariest moments of his life. He'd practically crushed Kayla to his body, while trying to keep her from being torn from his desperate hands. The wind and rain howled at deafening rates, the house above swept away into the stormy skies. Slowly the storm turned to light rain and eventually the night fell and grew silent. Kayla repaired his wound and helped him change into dry clothing before they both huddled away from the raining ceiling.

Negan couldn't help but hold her closer, as the sounds of the biters above echoed off the stone walls. Tucking his face into the back of her neck, he adjusted his hold, careful to not wake her. Kayla had broken down against his chest, her normal defensive walls falling under the pressure of the last few days. Negan's chest cracked open as she shuddered against him, heart-twisting sobs dampening his already soaked shirt. He was responsible for the turmoil and stress, his jackass decisions putting them both in danger. There wasn't any way he'd ever forgive himself for putting her in such a shit situation yet again.

Kissing the nape of her neck softly, he nuzzled his nose into her hair and closed his eyes. Inhaling deeply, Negan took in her comforting scent and tried to calm the unnerving sensation of fear from his body. It wasn't a sensation he enjoyed or tolerated for too long.

"Mornin' yet?" her hoarse voice warmed his the soft cotton of his shirt.

"Soon." Negan replied with as much gravel in his voice. Clearing his throat softly, he informed, "Hear some meatbags up there but not real close. We'll have to be careful when we go up."

"Yeah." Kayla murmured, pulling back to peer up at him from the shadows. "How's your side?"

"Fine." He assured, leaning down to couple his lips with hers chastely. "Thanks for taking care of me, doll."

"It's what I live for."

"That and giving incredible blow jobs."

"Obviously." She replied dryly, her lips twitching as he grinned down at her.

Laughing gruffly, Negan pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "Glad we aren't dead."

"Ditto."

"Once we're up there we gotta figure out what we're doin'." Negan grumbled, his hands smoothing up and down her back.

"Depends on the car's shape and what the roads are like. I don't even wanna think about how many trees are down. We should look for an ax or saw or something. We might need it."

Negan nodded, his chin digging into the crown of her head with the motion. "Good thinkin'."

"Sometime's I have good ideas."

"Don't get cocky." He teased, grunting as she elbowed him in his good side. "Easy on the goods, doll. I'm an injured man."

"Don't be a baby."

"Don't be a meanie."

Snorting, Kayla kissed the skin below his adam's apple and eventually whispered, "Thank you for taking care of me while I cried like a baby."

"It's what I live for." He repeated her words, kissing her temple softly.

* * *

"Cocking sucking, motherfucking, bitch." Negan sneered at the large patch of dirt that was once underneath the wood barn. He stood in the spot his girl had been parked and kicked the wet soil angrily. "Fucking bullshit." He grumbled under his breath before glancing at Kayla. She was standing next to their bags, her arms crossed as she watched him throw a tantrum.

"You done?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Stop busting my balls. I'm allowed to be pissed off." he grunted, looking around the landscape that was torn up and shredded by the tornado. Huge ruts were cut into the earth and trees ripped from the ground by the roots. The fields that once grew corn had been shorn of vegetation, leaving bare soil and debris from around the area. Parts of the home's roof was scattered across the large field, as well as furniture and tufts of pink insulation. Negan sighed, scrubbing his bearded face and tipped his chin towards the road. "Looks like we're hoofing it towards town."

* * *

"Can't I for once keep something I fucking like?" he complained a few minutes later as they walked down the dirt road towards the closest town.

Rolling her eyes, she drawled, "Oh so you don't have one thing right now you like?"

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I fucking mean." He retorted, climbing over a log lying across the dirt road. "And it wasn't just the choice fucking ride that cunt tornado took, my bat was in the damn trunk."

"I'll find you a new one."

"I don't want a fucking new one." He grumbled in irritation. "I want  _my_  bat."

"Well, I'm sorry Negan but shit happens." Kayla huffed, her narrowed eyes flicking to his. "We've got bigger things to worry about than your stupid bat."

"Excuse the fuck out of me for being pissed off."

"Jesus Christ. Stop being a big baby."

"Fuck you."

"No  _fuck you_." She sneered back before bursting into laughter. Negan's lips twitched as she cackled next to him, the woman flipping his mood instantly.

"Crazy woman." He grunted, yanking her by the wrist towards him. "Losing your damn mind."

"No, you're driving me fucking insane."

Standing on her tiptoes, Kayla kissed him firmly, her fingers pulling at his shirt Negan grabbed her waist tightly and backed her into a cement guardrail, his hips rolling into hers. Moaning into her mouth, Negan slid his hands into her hair and held her firmly, while grinding against her.

"Fuck." He hissed as her hands tugged at his belt before sinking into his pants. "Kay, what're you doing? We're out in the open"

"No one's around and I'm going to put you in a better goddamn mood." She murmured with a smirk, her hand tightening around his dick while jerking him off. Negan's eyes fell shut with a groan, her hand working him over smoothly and swiftly.

"Fuck, doll." He grunted, his hand curling around her neck to tilt her face up. "Fells fucking awesome."

"You like that baby?" She breathed, her eyes darkening as he licked his lips. "Gonna cum in my hand?"

"Fuck yes." He grumbled, his hips rolling into her fist. "Rather your mouth."

"Wanna fuck my mouth?"

"Yes." He hissed through clenched teeth, his thumb brushing across her bottom lip. "Suck me, baby."

Dropping to her knees, Kayla tugged his pants open and swallowed him down without a moment of hesitation. Negan groaned loudly before biting his bottom lip to keep from alerting nearby dead. Peeling his eyes open, he watched his wife's head bob on his dick, her eyes flicking up to his. His abdomen clenched when she moaned around his hot flesh, his stomach wound screaming at the tension. Negan couldn't find it in himself to stop however, as she swallowed around his cock given him the most delicious suction. Nothing could stop him from fucking her mouth on the side of the road.

"Jesus." He grunted as she began stroking the base of his dick with her hand, while tonguing every inch. "I can't-.."

The wanton moan she released around his hard on caused him to spill down her throat with no control. His hands curled into her hair and his hips stuttered into her face, his hips rutting into her willing maw.

Gasping towards the sky as his head tilted back, Negan groaned and panted while she sucked him of every dropped. Rolling his head back down, he watched his dick slid from her smirking mouth. Her lips were swollen and pink, the flesh wet with saliva and spilled cum.

"Fucking beautiful with cum on your lips." He rasped, with a dry chuckle, scrubbing his face roughly as his body still shuddered.

Kayla rolled her eyes and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, rising to her feet with a groan.

"You okay?" he rasped, smoothing the hair down he'd ruffled.

"Concrete under knees doesn't feel great." She commented, taking a swig of water before offering it to him. Negan gulped it down, wetting his dry panting mouth, while watching his wife pick up her backpack.

"Haven't taken care of you." He murmured, attempting to pull her closer. Kayla shook her head and smiled, "I'm fine. I just wanted to get you to stop bitching for a few minutes."

Negan smirked at her and pulled her into his chest, his hand cupping her face. "You don't want me to fingerblast that tight pussy?"

Snorting at his vulgarity, Kayla smacked his chest and tipped her chin towards the long road ahead of them. "We should keep moving. I'll take you up on it later when we find shelter."

"Your call but I am willing to stir your batter right here, right now, dollface."

"Noted." She replied dryly, extracting herself from his grip. "Now let's go."

* * *

Kayla glanced at Negan who stood in front of the disconcerting sight before them, his eyes angry and mouth frowned. A large ditch along the side of the road had collected tons of debris from the storm that raged through the area the day before. There were numerous pieces of drywall and broken wood planks. The mud was thick with clothing and furniture, shards of broken windows, as well as tree limbs and shrubbery. The most upsetting sight was the shiny black paint peeking out below a giant slab of rooftop; the Impala buried underneath asphalt roof tiles and jagged wood beams.

"Goddamn-fucking-damnit. That's just fucking cruel." Negan huffed, moving forward to climb into the ditch. Kayla grabbed his wrist and asked, "What're you doing? Don't go down there."

"I want my bat." He huffed, yanking his arm from her grip. Sighing in frustration, Kayla removed her backpack and ordered, "Stay here."

"I can go down there."

"No you can't. Not with your side." She supplied, slowly making her way down the steep incline going diagonally. Her boots sunk in the wet mud making squelching sounds as she extracted them with every step. When she reached the bottom she climbed over broken planks of wood and crunched jagged glass. She arrived at the buried car, pulling a tree limb from the back to unveil the once pristine vehicle, which now lay upside down in the sticky mud. Glancing over her shoulder, Kayla found Negan scowling deeply at the sight, his brows furrowed and eyes dark. She could tell he had been holding out hope the damn thing was sitting down there with no damage just waiting to be rescued miraculously.

Pulling the keys from her pocket, where they stayed from the night before, Kayla stretched her arm out to reach the trunk lock. Turning it, the mechanism caught but after a firm yank, popped open. The remaining contents spilled from the car, as well as a rush of dirty water. Groaning as it splattered her, Kayla began shifting through the debris to find anything useful. The bat was stuck in the side of the trunk space, its handle only visible. Tugging it from its spot, Kayla tucked in the back of her belt while she gathered whatever else was left undamaged. She was extracting herself from the thick foliage and shredded building material when something grabbed her ankle with surprising strength. A deep guttural groan escaped the mud below as she uncovered a biter from the debris. Its face was rotten and pulling from the bone, as it extracted itself from the thick mud to chew on the closest meal.

"Shit." She grunted, tugging her boot violently as the thing snapped its teeth at her calf. Struggling to keep her balance in the mess of garbage below her, she watched in horror as its yellowing teeth clacked close to the thick canvas pants covering her leg.

"Kayla!" Negan shouted above her, the man too far to help her.

"Fucker." Kayla growled tugging her knife from its sheath. While almost falling on her ass, she buried it in its face. Panting heavily as her heart raced, Kayla trudged her way up the steep incline, her eyes anxiously scanning the ground for more dangerous rotting corpses trapped in the heavy mud.

"Are you okay?" he asked frantically, his hands pulling her from the last few feet of the climb.

"Yeah." She grunted, shaking off the blood and mud from her hands. "Fucker just surprised me."

"Jesus Christ." Negan grunted, wiping sweat from his brow. "I would feel like such an asshole if you got bit getting my fucking bat for me."

"Yeah, I think I would probably kicked your ass before I kicked the bucket." She joked, pulling the bat from her belt and stretching it out towards him. "Here you go, princess."

Glaring at her, Negan pulled her close by the weapon and kissed her desperately. "Don't scare me like that again."

"Don't worry about it. Next time I'll tell you to get your own goddamn bat." She deadpanned, her eyes twinkling as he scowled. "Come on. We've got shit we need to do."

"Don't call me princess." He grumbled as they walked down the stretch of dirt road, his hand reaching out to take hers. Kayla smirked as he wove his fingers between hers and tugged her closer. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Negan held her into his side and kissed her temple. "Let's find us a ride and a place for the night. I believe I owe you a good tongue lashing later."

"As you wish, princess."

 


	5. Chapter 5

Negan peered through the riflescope, his eyes narrowed as he scouted the town at the bottom of the hill. Kayla lay prone next to him with binoculars, her own experienced eyes looking for signs of life. They'd been alone for many months now, two full seasons had passed and they were heading into winter. They needed to settle in before the snows and in order to do that, they needed supplies and a hidey hole of a shelter.

Standing in what had once been green corn fields and fertile land, Negan could see the town had been searched but there was always a chance something useful was missed. They needed to take the chance.

"Thoughts?" Kayla's soft voice brought his hooded eyes away from the town.

"That my wife looks sexy as fuck with dirt smudged on her face." He replied, a smirk pulling at his lips.

Kayla gave him the look that both stiffened his cock and shrunk his balls. She could cut him to the bone with one of her glares, but he'd bleed out with a ten-inch boner.

"Okay, okay. Untwist those panties, dollface. It looks good. Don't know if there's fuck all down there, but I don't see any stiffs or breathers."

"Alright." She murmured, pointing out her suggested path. Negan had learned that Kayla was a fairly good strategist and as much as he liked to think he could make well thought out plans, he was better at execution. The grand scheme shit he had covered, but the nitty-gritty details needed special skills. Luckily for him, Negan married a sly bitch.

"Sounds good, babydoll." He consented, once she explained her plan of execution, kissing her temple and rasping, "you stay by my side. Don't stray."

"Yes,  _sir_." She deadpanned, her lip curled up.

"That's more like it." He drawled, a cocky grin sliding across his face like a glove. "Now we need to work on your  _tone_."

The smack across his ass made him yelp, his eyes jumping to Kayla, who wielded a switch from the nearby cornstalk. He could only stare dumbfounded for a moment before he asked, "Did you just  _cane_  my ass?"

"Maybe. Why? Did you like it?"

His lip twitched as she smirked at him, while smacking the stick against her palm. "Doll, don't get something started you'll  _regret_."

Snorting, Kayla pointed the switch at him and taunted, "Kayla, one. Negan  _zeeeroooo_."

A slow menacing smile curled his lips and wrinkled his nose. "Well, game on  _sweetcheeks_. Your ass is going to be candy striped by nightfall."

Kayla bit her pouty lip and he could see the pure want in her eyes. Licking his lips hungrily, he pictured her bent over and bare.

'Fuck.' He swallowed a moan at the idea of how wet she'd be after a good spanking. Goddamn, did he want to lick a delicious path up her center.

"You're a naughty girl, I saw that look." He growled, his head cocking to the side, as he rocked back on his heels. "If we didn't have work to do, I'd take you over my knee."

"Well, let's get this over with, so we can revisit this topic."

Snorting, Negan walked with her down the hill and towards the small town. "Don't think you aren't getting spanked good and hard, dollface. I meant it. Game- _fucking_ -on."

* * *

Kayla glanced at Negan, who was keeping watch at the door, while she searched the tiny hardware store. She found a new whetstone to sharpen their knives and more wire for animal snares. There was also a stash of lighters and batteries for their flashlights.

"You good, babydoll?" His gruff voice rasping loud enough for only her ears.

"Yeah. Almost done."

Kayla did a sweep of the office and pocketed cigarettes and nicotine gum. The items could be used to stay awake or traded with other survivors. They'd learned everything could be used in someway and the few people they passed on the road were more amicable, when blackmailed with rare amenities.

Exiting the shop, she pulled out her machete and followed Negan to the next set of doors. The day continued much the same, both switching off on scavenge and lookout positions. When the sun started setting the temperatures began to drop. It was far from freezing but enough to be uncomfortable. The sound of dead echoed against the brick walls and the scent blew in with the wind. They needed to hole up for the night, a horde was coming.

"There's an apartment over the drug store." Kayla noted, tipping her chin to the building.

"Lead the way, sweetheart." He replied with a sly grin, his eyes dipping to her hips.

Biting her lip, she muttered, "Don't smack my ass."

"Why would I ever do such a thing?" Negan drawled, his eyebrows raised in surprise but his lips tugged by a pleased smirk.

"I'm serious." She grumbled, her eyes narrowing as her teeth clenched.

Leaning forward, he kissed her sticky forehead and rasped, "You had your chance _,_ darlin'. Now your ass has got to pay."

Grabbing her hips, he pressed her into the wall and kissed her deeply. Ripping his mouth away as though it were painful, he panted heavily against her swollen lips.

"Let's go." She murmured.

Negan swallowed thickly and swept a hand through her hair and replied, "Don't think that thorough mouth fucking gets you out of a few smacks upon your ass."

Smirking, she retorted, "If you wait until we're settled you can have as many as you want."

Growling deeply, he leaned in and nipped her bottom lip. "Get ready, baby girl."

* * *

The tiny living space had obviously belonged to an old couple, the shelves covered with Hummel's and other tiny figurines. The mauve carpet stained with blood and two long dead corpses put down in the bedroom. The kitchen was torn to hell, the cabinet doors hanging by their hinges, as though a tornado came through. Broken glass and ceramic plates littered the kitchen floor and every drawer was upended.

The living room was far less destroyed, the couch covered in a plastic slipcover kept the blood and dust from staining it. Negan covered the windows and barricaded the doorway while Kayla prepared a meager dinner of canned meat and green beans.

They'd long lost any discerning palate for nourishment. If it was edible, they ate it. They had no room to be choosey.

Sitting down next to each other on the squeaky sofa, the couple ate together in silence. When Negan finished, he set his plate on the coffee table and rubbed his belly, "Just like mom used to make it."

Kayla snorted and gave him a side eye, "Smart ass."

"What? It's a compliment darlin'."

"Right."

Grinning at her, he leaned over and kissed her scarred cheek. "Thanks for dinner, sweets."

"You're welcome, jackass." She huffed before laughing as he poked her in the ribs. "Stop."

"If we didn't have to worry about dead fucks and living assholes, I'd tickle you 'til you pissed your little panties."

"Good thing." She muttered with a smirk, setting her plate aside. "So tomorrow, we doing a few more streets?"

"Yeah. Thinkin' west side. Found a map at the hotel. Everything east is offices."

"Cool." She sighed, leaning into the cushions heavily. Kayla felt wiped out from the day of traveling by foot. They'd left their car in a safe place, opting for covertness over ease of travel.

"Well, I was going to have my way with you but you're passing out on me." Negan drawled next to her, his head lolling to the side to look at her half closed eyes and slumped body.

"Been a long day." She muttered, rubbing her eyes roughly.

"Lay down, doll." He instructed, placing a pillow next to his thigh. "I'll keep watch."

"We're probably okay, babe." She murmured, stretching out next him on the cushions. Her head lay partially on his thigh, her face nuzzling into the fabric despite how dirty it must be. His hand sunk into her hair and slowly massaged her scalp like she loved, the sensation causing her eyes to drop almost instantly. Hearing a chuckle above her, Kayla peeled one eye open and croaked, "What?"

"Like a damn kitten getting it's head scratched." Negan rumbled, his eyes twinkling and lips curved. "Guess I'm petting a pussy tonight after all."

Snorting, Kayla peered up at him and murmured, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, handsome." His deep gravelly laugh had her falling asleep with a smirk on her lips.

* * *

Negan woke to a whimpering sound coming from the other side of the couch. Peeling open his heavy lids, he found Kayla writhing in a tangle of blankets, her face twisted in pain.

"Please." Her voice cracked, the sound churning his guts with worry. Sliding across the cushions, Negan stroked Kayla's forehead and murmured, "It's alright. Just a dream, baby."

The fist she threw caught him both by surprise and in the face, the man grunting as it landed on his nose. "Fuck."

Grabbing the offending hand, Negan hovered over her to keep from getting decked again. Kayla struggled with him, her eyes still closed as she fought whatever nightmare she was drowning in. Groaning as her knee slammed into his stomach, Negan pinned her down further and spoke louder, "Kay. Its just a dream. Wake up, baby."

"Stop." She growled, her body trembling under his hands. "No."

"Kay!" Negan snapped, his groin targeted as her legs kicked out towards him. Gasping loudly, Kayla shot up and hit her forehead against Negan's nose. Grunting in pain, Negan pinned her down as blood trickled down his face from the second hit.

"Fuck." She gasped, her hands struggling to be released. "I'm awake. I'm awake."

"You sure? My fucking face and sack can't take another hit."

"Yeah."

"You good?" He rasped as he rolled off her to find something to press to his nose.

"Yeah." She croaked again, sitting on the edge of the sofa, while scrubbing her face. Negan watched as she took several deep breathes before finally making eye contact.

"Did I break it?"

"No, but I think you owe my dick an apology."

Kayla laughed dryly as she climbed to her feet to use the restroom. When she returned, she stood in front of him to look over the bloody towel pressed to his face.

"Let me see."

Peeling it back, Negan grunted as she gently pressed around his nose looking for a break. "So, what were you dreaming about before you went fist of fury on my poor defenseless ass."

"You're far from defenseless."

"Who's bleeding right now?" He mumbled below the towel while raising his eyebrows dramatically.

Kayla rolled her eyes and muttered, "The meat locker."

Negan swallowed the taste of bile at the phrase, the imagery it caused was a nauseating one. Nodding his head, he tossed the towel to the ground when his nose stopped bleeding. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"Not really." She scoffed, her arms crossing over her chest to clutch her biceps. Negan could see the pinched gripped she had on the limbs, as though holding herself together. Kayla hide it well but now that they were together every minute of every day, there weren't a lot of secrets between the two anymore.

"Too bad. Talk and maybe it'll stop."

"I fucking doubt it." His wife huffed, her dark eyes sliding to the wall instead of his no nonsense expression.

"Tough titties. Talk, doll."

Kayla leaned against the kitchen table, her arms still wrapped around her torso as she spoke hesitantly, "It was dark and hot... I could feel the metal table sticking to my skin."

Negan could feel his heart begin to pound harder and faster, as she told him more detail than ever before.

Her eyes were glazed over as she peered at the boarded up windows. "I could taste the blood. Smell it. I couldn't see much but I... knew he was there. I could... feel him...  _on_  me."

Negan sat forward, his hands tightened into fists and popped his knuckles with the pressure. The rage consuming his chest was stoked with every word she spoke and every fucking tremble her lips shook with. He could see the terror fracturing her, as she relived the horror show.

"He was there... he was talking to me about trying to peel my face off. He pressed the knife into my scalp to do it. I could feel the edge of it… c-cutting."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Kay."

"Yeah." She muttered softly, her fingertips stroking the area as though looking for a real injury. "I was fighting him, guess that's when I punched you. I'm sorry."

"Fucking hell." He drawled, motioning for her. "C'mere, sweetheart."

Kayla chewed her lip, as Negan allowed her to choose, knowing there were times when she didn't quite feel like touching anyone.

"Let me hold you, darlin'." He pleaded, her curled frame making his chest ache.

Joining him back on the sofa, Kayla allowed him to pull her into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her body, Negan tucked his face into her neck and inhaled a long deep lungful of her scent. He felt her doing the same thing, her nose brushing along his rough jawline.

"I got you." He murmured hoarsely as her body finally broke in his arms, her damp cheeks pressed into his collarbone. "Not lettin' go, baby. Ever."

* * *

Negan chuckled under his breath as he watched Kayla rub her ass with a scowl creasing her face. Narrowing her eyes, she muttered, "it's not funny."

"Fuck yeah it is. I got you good."

"Yeah and I bet I have the bruise to prove it." Kayla huffed, while thumbing through a storage cabinet inside the darkened store. Negan grinned widely as she pouted, the urge to slap her ass again barely suppressible.

"My palm's still tingling." He bragged, waving his fingers in her direction. "I think that was worth double points."

Snickering, despite her irritated expression, Kayla drawled, "Too bad points don't mean shit anymore huh, King Dick?"

Negan felt a knot form in his chest at her teasing words, the dark memories of all they lost clouding his mind.

"Hey.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't-." she began.

Stopping her before she continued, Negan reached out and gripped her hip. "Don't apologize. I'm not that big of a pussy, I can't take you busting my balls."

Rolling her eyes, she shrugged and continued to look for anything of use. "Still was kinda bitchy."

"Well, yeah. You're kind of a bitch." Negan joked, his teeth flashing brightly.

"Fuck off." She laughed, tossing a box of coffee filters at his head.

Grunting at the impact, Negan picked up the cardboard and shoved it in his pack to be used later with their makeshift water purifier.

"Easy with the merchandise, dollface." He teased, stroking his whisker-covered cheeks while giving her a cocky wink.

"Ugh you're so-." Kayla swallowed her next words as the growling sound of a walker caught their attention. Negan became instantly alert, his head cocking to the side as he tried to pinpoint the whereabouts of the dead fuck.

"Thought we checked everywhere." Kayla whispered, her narrowed eyes scanning the small workshop connected to the convenience store.

"Must've missed somewhere because that's one rowdy dead fuck."

Moving together, they entered the long hallway heading to the back office and restroom. The linoleum was peeling and stained, the off white surface splattered with what looked like blood and shit. Negan took point as they reached the office, his bat tapping on the wood surface to check for the source of the noise.

A growl erupted from inside the room but nothing came to the door, which had Negan raising an eyebrow over his shoulder.

"Must be stuck." Kayla muttered, her blade poised and ready. "Could just leave it."

Huffing out an dry laugh, Negan drawled, "Never, just leave it. They always get out at some point. I'd rather not have some undead fuck, I could've killed easy peasy, biting my nutsack in a couple hours."

Kayla rolled her eyes and raised her machete. "Open it then, princess."

"I told you to stop calling me that." He grumbled, raising the bat in his hand in threat.

"You used to call me that." She offered, her lips twitching as he pouted further.

"Yeah and you hated it." He muttered, his head cocking back, waiting for an argument.

"Because it was done to antagonize me."

Scoffing, Negan leaned into her space and growled, "And you're not fucking with me then?"

"Jesus Christ," she sighed, and confessed, "I call you princess because it makes you pout and you look sexy when you pout."

Negan stared at her a moment before he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "You're such a fucking weirdo."

"No shit. Now, are we killing this thing so we can move the fuck on with our day?"

Negan opened the door and shined a flashlight around the room as Kayla entered to kill whatever was still moving. They found a body on the floor, having been put down at some point, but no other signs of life or death for that matter. Shining the light around the room, the beam landed on another door tucked in the corner and partially hidden by a toppled coat rack.

"Closet?" he rasped, his eyes lowering to Kayla's profile.

Dipping her chin, she padded over to the wood paneled door and tapped her blade on its dull surface. A growl erupted and was followed by the scratching of nails raking down the surface.

Kayla's head cocked slightly at the sound and she looked over her shoulder. "Sounds…. short."

Negan's chest cinched at the statement, the words meaning only one thing in his mind. There was an undead child behind the door.

"We can't leave it. If it's a kid…" She muttered, her troubled eyes rising to his. "We can't."

Nodding, Negan scrubbed his face with a sigh and motioned for her to step back. "I'll take care of it."

"You don't-."

"I don't but I will. You don't need to do all the hard shit." He voice hoarse as he moved her behind him and pulled out his hunting knife. Clubbing an undead kid with his bat, in front of Kayla, seemed too violent and Negan just couldn't do it.

Wrapping his hand around the doorknob, he felt the leather grip the shiny gold metal and began turning it slowly. Pulling it open, he expected the body to come tumbling out but was met with just shadows. Opening the door wider, Negan aimed the flashlight around looking for the source of the noise.

"Where the fuck-." He grumbled lowly but choked on his words when a large black shape jolted out of the closet and into his legs.

"Holy shit!" He shouted, the heavy body barreled Negan over and knocked into Kayla. The heavy panting and rumbling growls filled the room as the shape bounced around, knocking over the uprighted coat rack and office chair.

"Jesus, what is that fucking thing?" Negan growled, dodging it while raising his bat high and wide. He was about to swing and hit the mystery bulldozer when Kayla shouted, "Don't kill it."

Pausing mid swing, Negan watched in horror as Kayla dropped down to her knees and got eye level with the shape.

"It's just a dog." She muttered, before speaking quiet and calm. "Easy there big guy. Easy."

The growls turned to low rumbles and irritated huffs of air, the clack of its nails on chipped linoleum quieting as it stilled. Kayla's hand was outstretched and loose, as she offered the back of it to smell. Slowly the black creature sniffed her knuckles, its tongue swiping out to taste her before it sat in front of her and panted.

Glancing up at him she smiled, "Can I keep him?"

"Jesus Christ, the thing tried to kill me." Negan grumbled, his heavy brow furrowed as he glared at the shape.

"Don't be a baby. It was just scared."

"It snapped at me."

"Yeah, well, you snap at me all the damn time." She retorted, her eyes playful. "Come on. Let's just see if he's nice. Maybe it'd be fun."

Sighing, Negan looked over the disgusting creature with a scowl. "It needs a fucking bath. Half that shit on it, is literally shit."

"Yeah." Kayla muttered, her bottom lip poking out. "Poor guy. Come on let's find a way to clean you up buddy."

Negan watched as she patted the beast on the head and then walked out of the room, the huge dog following on her heels. Shaking his head, he tried to keep himself from following along like some other well trained house pet, but couldn't keep his boots glued to the floor. He was as bad as that mutt, falling in line to follow the beautiful, obstinate brunette who owned his balls. The most surprising part, Negan couldn't give one single solitary shit how big of a pussy that made him.

* * *

Kayla found the barrel of rainwater out back of the abandoned convenience store and started cleaning up the dog they'd found. From what she could tell, he looked to be a mix of boxer and pit bull. The coloring was dark with some white on its chest, its ears cropped short. He had huge brown eyes that followed every move she made and a mouth full of sharp teeth that glowed in the low light of the day. The black beast was truly terrifying but completely docile under her gentle hands.

Kayla scrubbed him down, cleaning him of animal waste and dried blood. As she worked through the stiffed matted hair and chunks of gore tangled in the locks, she began too see just how thin he was. The dog was huge, its shoulders muscled and strong, but his ribs and hips were sharp below the loose skin.

"You're starvin'." She murmured, her hand wiping away excess water from his boney back. "We'll get you somethin' to eat real soon."

"We can't waste our food on a fucking mutt."

Rolling her eyes without looking back at Negan, she whispered, "Don't listen to him. He's just butt hurt you made him scream like a girl."

"Hey!" Negan snapped, "That's bullshit."

"Mmhm." She muttered, glancing at him over her shoulder. "Sure it is."

"Look, doll. He's great and all but we really can't afford to feed him. We're too tight on rations as it is."

Sighing, Kayla scrubbed the dog's head with a comforting hand and stood up. "Well, we're gonna figure it out. I can't leave him."

"Why?"

"Because." She huffed, her arms crossing defensively.

"What a stellar argument." Negan deadpanned, his eyebrow raised in amusement. "Look, if he can catch his own food, then we can keep him but seriously, we don't have the food."

Sighing, Kayla chewed her lip and offered, "I'll take him hunting in the morning, see how he does."

"Fine." Negan drawled, before adding. "He better not be a loud asshole and bring dead to us."

"He's only growled when we first let him out. He hasn't made a peep since." She muttered, as they moved to enter the building again. The sudden sound of his throaty growl had her cringing, her eyes shooting back to his shape.

"Oh yeah, he's as quiet as a church mouse." Negan drawled lazily, his expression unamused.

Kayla was about to scold the dog, but noticed he was focused on the tree line behind the building, his short ears perked as he stood on point. A shuffling corpse soon stumbled out of the trees causing Negan to straighten up. The dog growled deeply, as the creature began making its way towards them. Kayla moved to take the corpse down, but was stopped by the dog, who placed himself between the two, his back hair raised as he snarled in warning.

"Well, looks like he's smart enough to know those things are dangerous."

"Probably smells it."

The dog did not stay still however, the huge beast charged the dead man, leaping onto its rotting body. Tearing into throat viciously while shaking the body aggressively, the mutt snarled and snapped as the corpse failed to free itself. Negan moved forward to put the creature down, before the dog got hurt, but was surprised when it basically tore the deadfuck's head clean off. Clamping onto its skull, Kayla heard the bones crack under the dog's impressive jaws before the walker stopped moving completely.

"Holy fucking fuck." Negan rasped, his eyes moving to Kayla's surprised expression.

"Wanna keep him now?" She asked with a crooked smirk.

"Fuck yeah. That was fucking awesome." Negan shook his head as the dog dropped the corpse like a used chew toy and trotted back to Kayla's side. Patting his flank heavily, she praised him, "Good boy."

His mouth was bloodied and chest splattered but Kayla couldn't be upset with him for becoming filthy again, he'd proven himself to Negan and that was worth more than another bath.

"I'm going to wipe him down again and I'll be in a moment."

"Alright, don't take too long."

* * *

It started snowing the next afternoon, the white powder building up on the road and trees swiftly. Kayla peered out the boarded up windows and watched in wonder. She'd seen snow before, but had never lived in a place that got it frequently. The sight was beautiful in a way, the cold white flakes covering everything, making it seem clean and new.

Negan strolled up behind her and rest heavy hands on her hips, while kissing the side of her neck. "Looks like winter's here."

"Yeah, we need to figure out if we're staying or going. The roads will be to hard to drive on, without plows clearing them."

"I was looking over the maps, there's farmland south of here. Maybe we can find someplace to hole up in, something with access to small game and a way to keep warm. Might be less snow if we go far enough south."

Nodding, Kayla peeked over her shoulder. "How much food do we have?"

"About a week worth, less if we have to feed your mutt."

"I have a feeling he'll hunt his own food."

"You're probably right but still, we don't have enough. Not for this type of weather."

Chewing her lip, Kayla turned around and slid her hands up his chest to hook her hands around his neck. Leaning into the warmth of his body, she shivered as his whiskers brushed along the soft curve of her neck.

"So warm." He purred behind her ear. "Wanna get cozy first before we head out into the cold?"

Laughing slightly, as the dog was suddenly in between them, huffing in irritation.

"What the fuck?" Negan growled, as the dog barked once.

"I don't think he wants to share me."

"Tough titties, asshole." Negan muttered, using his knee to pushing the dog out of the way, only to stop when he let out a warning growl. "I swear to fuck, you can stay with us but she's my goddamn wife, fuckface."

A deep bark, had Negan growling in frustration before backing up with hands raised. "Fine."

Kayla patted the dog's head and then motioned to the sofa. "Go lie down, Beast."

"You're calling it Beast now?"

"Well he's is one. Aren't you Beastie?" She finished with soft baby talk. "Yeah, you are."

"Do not become one of those people who baby-talks to their dogs."

"Too late." Kayla spoke with a smile. "Besides Beastie loves it, huh?"

A throaty bark signaled his agreement, the dog plopping itself on the beat up sofa in the manager office.

"See. He loves it."

"This is ri-goddamn-diculous." Negan huffed, sitting down heavily on the office chair. "You gonna leave me for a ugly ass mutt?"

Snickering at his pouting, Kayla sauntered over with her hips swaying just a bit more than necessary. She watched Negan's tongue swipe out across his bottom lip before being bitten between his teeth.

Inhaling a deep breath, Negan murmured, "Looking real good there, babydoll."

"Yeah?" She flirted, swinging a leg over his lap to straddle his splayed legs.

"Good enough to eat." He cooed, his large hands sliding up her thighs to grasp handfuls of her ass. Tugging her forward, he groaned as she rolled her hips against his swelling dick. Bowing her body over him, Kayla swirled her hips and pressed her forehead against his. "Wanna fuck you." She gasped as he sucked a hot wet path with a greedy mouth and tongue.

"Right here?"

"Yeah." She gasped, yanking at his belt as he nipped her neck and shoulder.

"Upsy daisy, darlin'." He rasped, pushing her to her feet. "Take those boots and pants off right fucking now."

Shedding her clothing, Kayla shivered at the chill but climbed back onto Negan's warm body. His hands clutched her ass as she swirled her hips against his bare lap. She peered down at his swollen dick, her hand gripping and stroking it, while squirming anxiously.

"You want it, huh, sweetheart?"

"Yes." She hissed, as his fingers dipped between her legs from behind, his finger penetrating her teasingly.

"Damn, baby. You. Are.  _Soaked_." He growled, his teeth clenched and pressed into the side of her neck. Pushing further inside, Negan's finger began a steady pace of curled pumps.

"Negan." She moaned, her head rocking back as she panted. "No more teasing."

Laughing gruffly, he pulled her closer while gripping his dick in a tight fist. "Sit down and take what you want then, sweetheart."

Kayla gripped Negan's shoulders as he pressed the thick head of his dick passed her tight opening. Her eyes dropped shut and mouth fell open at the feeling of him stretching her open.

"Oh god." She gasped, her head tilting back as she rocked her hips against his lap. "Fuck."

"Yeah we are." Negan growled, his hands tightening around her waist as he thrust his hips from the chair. "Come on, dollface. Fucking take it."

Growling at his demands, Kayla began to rise and fall upon his aching prick. She could feel his whiskers brushing a red rash against her chest, as he pushed her shirt up to lick her cleavage. Negan bit into the soft flesh through her bra, the man growling at the offensive fabric.

"Want you naked."

"Too cold." She gasped, as he plunged his hips into her from below.

"I wanna play with your titties." He murmured into her neck, his tongue trailing up the pulse point. "Suck on those cute little nipples."

"Negan." She moaned, while swiveling her hips at his firm thrusts upwards.

"Take off your shirt, I'll keep you warm." Negan purred, his hand pushing the fabric up further. " _Pretty please_ with sugartits on top."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla finally shed the rest of her clothing, causing shivers to run through her body, as his large hands began stroking and massaging.

"Good girl." He murmured into her neck, groaning as she clenched around him from the praise. She couldn't get enough of it when they were fucking, his reassurance that she was making him feel as good as she was.

Kayla raked her hands through his hair and tugged his face into her chest. "Suck."

Negan's eyes darkened at her demand, his large hands cupping the soft flesh. Pressing her breasts together, Negan used his broad tongue to lap at her stiffened nipples. He growled into the soft flesh, his mouth consuming as much of the tender flesh as possible, before sucking a hot, fast rhythm. Kayla's fingers curled into his thick hair as he sucked and bit every inch of the tight little curves, while staring at her wildly.

"Such delicious tits." He murmured into the warm, reddened flesh. "I wanna fuck them."

"Next time." She gasped, her hips continuing a fast pace of rolling and rocking against his swollen dick. "I wanna cum."

"Yeah?" He rasped, his large hands clutching her ass cheeks to raise and drop her upon his lap. "On my dick?"

"Yes." She hissed through clenched teeth, as he picked her up and swept everything off the desktop. Pinning her to the surface, Negan thrust into her with pure aggression and want, his dark eyes watching her tits bounce with every push.

"Gonna fuck an orgasm out of you, sweetheart." He growled into her neck, nipping her. "Make you cream all over my dick."

"Negan." She moaned, her head thrown back as he fucked her at such a speed, her head knocked against the wood surface. The sound riled the dog, throaty growls erupting as they began a fast pace of fucking like animals.

Negan laughed breathlessly as the dog growled again, his eyes rising as his hips still slapped against her skin.

"Fuck off." Negan snapped, his eyes darkening as the dog barked once before settling down. "Asshole."

Kayla giggled at the interaction but moaned as Negan's thumb pressed against her clit as he swirled his hips inside her.

"Yeah, not laughin' now huh?" He growled, grinding his dick inside her. "Cum, sweets. Fucking cum."

Kayla's body shudder violently, her fingers scraping down Negan back, curling into the fabric of his shirt.

"Negan." She moaned, her walls clenching and releasing as he continued to thrust inside her. Pressing her legs to her chest, Negan fucked her through her orgasm and right into another, while watching with greedy eyes.

"Yeah, that's it." He snarled, his head tilting back with a groan. "Fuck, so tight when you cum."

Pulling out swiftly, Negan yanked her up and flipped her over before she could blink. Huffing out a breath, she was about to complain about the dizzying speed but lost all words as he bottomed out with one thrust. Pressing her hips into the desk top, Negan boxed her in and mounted her from behind.

Smacking her ass sharply, Negan laughed as she squeaked. "You like it."

Another smack had her laughing and the third caused her to moan deeply. Kayla squirmed against him as he thrust and pump into her, the heavy smacks against her ass tingling.

"Negan." She moaned as his hips slapped against the reddened spots, her walls clenching around the swelling head dragging through her lips.

"Yeah, baby girl." He growled, his fingers curling into her hips as he ground against her. "Daddy's fucking you good huh?"

"Yes." She moaned, pushing backwards onto his dick.

"Good girl." He purred, curling over her body to fuck her hard and deep. She could feel him swelling with every forceful push, his dick aching to unload inside her.

"Come daddy." She murmured, her eyes flashing over her shoulder to watch him unravel.

Negan's eyes darkened and mouth fell lax as he thrust hard and fast, his dick pushing as deep as it could seem to go. She felt the pulsing heat fill every crevice, as he rolled his hips with an erratic pattern. His throaty moans had the dog barking again but both ignored him as they panted heavily.

"Jesus Christ." Negan huffed, his hands still tightly gripping her hips as he swirled his dick inside her. "I want my dick to live inside you."

Giggling, Kayla lay her sweaty face against the cool wood desktop. When he pulled from her, she released a combination of a moan and whimper at the loss.

"I hurt you?"

"No." She mumbled, taking his helping hand to stand up. "I think I'd like for you to live in there also."

Negan laughed, plopping down on the chair as he buckled his pants and watched her dress. "Well if it were detachable I'd let you ride it all day, every day, baby cakes." He drawled, flashing her a grin.

"If it were detachable, I'd never get anything done."


	6. Chapter 6

"This place smells like fucking ass." Negan huffed, covering nose and mouth, with his hand. Kayla glanced at him with a smirk underneath her scarf.

"And you thought I was being a pussy." She muttered through the cloth.

"Yeah, well I still do." He retorted with a sneer.

"Pfft. Jealous." She murmured, dodging his playful smack towards her ass.

The couple continued their walk through the large farmland that once held cattle. The fields were littered with corpses of the bovine, the long rotten bodies, striped of meat and most of its fur by the dead or mother nature. The bleached bones rest in cluttered piles, across the snow covered meadows, amongst dead vegetation. Despite all the time that had passed, the fields still reeked of cow shit and spoiled meat.

"How does it still smell like death around here? I don't fucking get it." Negan muttered, his narrowed eyes scanning the snowy landscape.

"I don't know, it just does." Kayla grumbled, her patience gone from the long hike through the woods and lack of food. It was days ago that they ate something resembling a meal and it came from a dented can. Her clothing was getting loose because of the lack of food and she often found herself shivering, no matter how bundled up she was.

"It's gotta be something else. It doesn't make sense."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla followed him towards the building ahead that once processed dairy and held the cattle while not grazing.

"Maybe there's just more up there." She offered, tipping her chin towards the long stretches of animal housing.

Nodding minutely, Negan headed towards the structure to investigate, while Kayla followed along. She skimmed her eyes over the buildings for movement or signs of life. The farmhouse was old, it's river rock foundations topped with weathered pine siding. The roof was black limestone and chimneys were stacked with quarry rock. It was picturesque, and in Kayla's mind, far too unassuming. Glancing back, she caught sight of Beast roaming the grounds, his nose grazing the snow as he searched out lunch.

They'd travelled with the animal for a week now and not once had they needed to find him something to eat. The dog was made for the world they lived in; its huge jaws strong enough to take down walkers, while its nose and stealth, allowed it to hunt efficiently. Negan made the comment the night before, that he wished they could have Beast hunt for them as well. Kayla began thinking of ways to train the damn animal to do just that.

As they reached the first of the long aluminum buildings, the couple finally heard what they smelled. The buildings were filled with dead, the low moaning and growling finally making its way through the metal walls. They weren't lively due to the icy temperatures, but they were still a danger.

Negan glanced at her and raised a cocky eyebrow.

"See, I fucking told you. I smelled this shit for miles." He bragged, his eyes looking over the ground at the visible footprints. "Someone's been here recently too."

Humming in agreement, Kayla looked for the path the prints took and noticed they headed up the hill towards a farm in the distance. The prints were partially covered but still clear enough for even a novice tracker.

"We should get out of here." She commented, her gut turning at the idea of running into more living. The last group they encountered was not friendly and it ended with Negan recovering from a stab wound to the stomach.

"Why do you think they have biters in here?" Negan ignored her comment, his hand rubbing his beard thoughtfully, as he looked around the property.

"Who knows, but anyone who keeps them around is organized and has numbers that's we don't. We should go back the way we came." She huffed quietly, her eyes nervously skimming the area for new threats. There wasn't anything more dangerous in the new world, than stumbling into someone else's territory without knowing it.

"There's nothing back the way we came."

"Yeah well, there could be nothing but our ass's getting handed to us, if we follow these fucking prints to the unknown."

"We don't follow them, we circle around. See what we see." Negan explained, his brow furrowed, as he looked over the ground and began wandering away from her.

"I thought you were going to start fuckin'  _listening_  to me?" She growled, the dead inside the building becoming rowdier as they argued.

"Shh." Negan hissed, his mouth hovering over her ear. "Shut your goddamn mouth before you bring the whole herd to us."

"Fuck you, Negan. We can't keep running head-on into danger." She growled, her finger jabbing him in the chest.

Slapping her hand away, Negan drawled, "Not going in head on, we're going to  _circle_  them."

"For fuck-sakes." She muttered, as Negan began walking along the building holding, what sounded like, a town worth of dead people. Every step Kayla took cinched her lungs tighter and stiffened her back. They were making a mistake. She was sure of it.

* * *

The couple hiked their way up the hill towards the cresting settlement, the snow crunching below their feet noisily. She cringed as they found themselves looking at a fenced in property and obvious signs of the living. Negan glanced at her as they crouched by a pile of dead vegetation, his dark eyes showing new hesitation. Kayla sighed quietly, shaking her head to show her displeasure at the current situation. She was getting quite tired of the predicaments they continually found themselves in. Negan bumped her with his elbow and muttered, "Alright, alright. I'm an  _asshole_. What're you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I need to revoke your ability to make any decisions… ever." She drawled, her eyes teasing but serious.

"Shit, doll. You know you love when I take charge." He growled, nipping at her jaw. " 'specially when I'm buried balls deep in that ass."

Kayla blushed deeply at his words. Negan's ability to embarrass her, despite it being just the two of them, astonished her.

"Shuddup." She muttered, her cheeks warming fiercely. His laugh was quiet but rich, the deep chocolate of his eyes sparkling at her.

"You're so beautiful." Negan rasped into her neck, his lips kissing her once, before pulling away. "Now what're we doin'?"

Chuckling under her breath, she offered, "Well, we're here already. Let's see what we see, I guess."

* * *

Negan glanced down at Kayla, as she lay prone on the ground with a set of binoculars pressed to her face. She was on point, her whole body looking for anything to clue them in on the property. He turned his attention to the opposite direction, his gaze concentrating on the woods to their rear. The woman was a saint putting up with his bullshit. Negan shook his head at his dumbass decisions. He was too damn stubborn for his own good and one of these days; Kayla would leave him in the wilderness somewhere.

Kayla tapped his hip with her elbow shortly after and whispered, "I got live ones."

Grabbing the binoculars, Negan focused on the sprawling farmhouse and gray barn. He could see movement in the overcast light of the fading day. Two figures walked from the barn, to the house, carrying buckets. One was a lean looking teen, his blond hair contrasting against the dark clothing he wore. The second individual was a girl, no more than twelve, with long blonde braids. Immediately, Negan noticed how they dressed, the girl in lengthy skirts with an apron and bonnet. The male wore black slacks and a thick wool coat, his head topped with a wide brim hat.

"Amish?"

"I guess or Mennonite." Kayla murmured, her brow furrowed in thought.

Scrunching up his nose, Negan asked, "The fuck's the difference?"

"Mennonite's are less strict about technology or some shit." She replied, while looking through the scopes again.

"But they're still fucking made for this shitfest." Negan drawled, his mind reeling at the possibilities of finding such a place. If they lived off the grid before, they would thrive in the new world.

"Fuck, they probably don't know the goddamn difference." He muttered, his hands wringing the handle of his bat in thought. "Could be a fuckin' gold mine in there."

"Don't even fucking think it." She hissed, her eyes turning fiery.

Negan glared at her as he growled, "Don't even fucking think  _what_ , dollface?"

"We aren't stealing from them, it's asking to get killed."

"I wasn't going to suggest we fucking steal." He scoffed.

"Then what?"

Shrugging lazily, he offered, "Maybe we can work out a deal."

"Oh yeah? What do we have to offer to a bunch of religious nutjobs?"

"Fuck if I know, but I know how to fucking wheel and deal, darlin'. I used to do this shit every fucking weekend." Negan drawled, rolling his shoulder to relieve the strain of being on guard for so long. "We can watch and see what their weaknesses are. I mean everybody's got 'em."

"Yeah, mines six and half feet of stubborn asshole." Kayla murmured, her eyes playfully twinkling in the low light. Growling at her, Negan pinched her side. "You're such a bitch."

"What do you mean, you did it every weekend?" she asked after a long length of silence. Negan huffed out a laugh and realized he'd never told her his side occupation before the end of times. "I sold cars on the weekends."

"Are you fuckin' with me?" she asked with a teasing grin.

"No, I'm not fucking, fucking with you." Negan rasped, his eyes rolling at her husky laugh. "So what? I needed the money and I could sell a fucking rubber to a eunuch if I wanted."

"I just can't picture you selling cars. I don't think I would buy one from you."

"Why the fuck not?" Negan scoffed, his hooded eyes watching her smile at him.

"You'd probably be too high pressure, all 'What can I say to get you into this car today?' bullshit. Then push me into some extended warranty that didn't cover shit."

Laughing gruffly, Negan elbowed her playfully. "Fuck, you know me too well, doll."

Moments later, Beast trotted up with a lump of gray fur in his mouth, his jaws releasing it into Negan's lap with a thump. Glancing down at the fur and blood, he looked over the dog that panted heavily with bloody drool dripping from his jowls.

"Dinner's ready, dear." Negan deadpanned, picking the dead animal up by its chomped on ear.

Kayla snorted loudly, her hand patting Beast flank heavily. "Good boy."

The dog slobbered on her cheek and licking at her hands as she pet him.

"Fuckin' can't believe he did that." Kayla muttered quietly. "I've been trying to think of ways to train him to do it, but it looks like he might've already been trained to find food."

"Un-fucking-believable." Negan replied, his grin flashing brightly. "Now we just need to get him to not eat half of the fuckin' thing before it gets to us."

"Are we staying out here in the snow or what?" Kayla asked, rolling away from the open area to hide behind the large pile of refuge.

Negan tipped his head to the sky and saw dark clouds coming in from the east, the temperature having steadily dropped over the last few hours. "Feels like more snow's coming."

"Yep." She replied, her hands smoothing down Beast ears and patting him heavily on the shoulder. "We could go back to the other farmhouse."

"The one with the herd of dead inside?" Negan rasped, his eyebrows raised to his hairline

"Yeah, what the fuck is up with that?"

"Fuck if I know, but sleeping with a group that big nearby isn't exactly on my fucking bucket list."

"How about-." Kayla started before Beast began a low growl, his teeth shining as his lips curled up aggressively.

"Fuck." Negan breathed out before the sound of rifles cocking had the couple as frozen as the earth below them.

* * *

They were taken up to a wood outbuilding by a group of young men carrying mostly axes and farm implements. The two eldest of the boys held rifles, the guns looking older than all of them combined. Kayla watched the group of five carefully, consuming everything about the situation as it began to unfold. Something was off about it, mainly being that the only true adult in the bunch looked to be in his early twenties, the rest were barely teenagers.

Kayla could tell Negan was just as confused by the assortment of weapons and ages of their captors, his heavy eyes scanning them thoroughly. They wore dark slacks and deep blue shirts, the wool coats and winter-ware all looking handmade. When they spoke, it was accented strangely, the tone foreign to her ears and some phrases were in what sounded like German.

Kayla glanced at the group surrounding them, while on her knees. Her hands were resting on her head, as Negan did the same next to her. Beast was barking and snapping, as two boys tried to get a rope around his neck.

"He's not going to let you touch him." She offered, whistling sharply at the dog. Yanking from their grasp, Beast crouched near her, his teeth bared. When a rifle was pointed at him, Kayla exclaimed, "Don't shoot him… please. Beast sit."

The large dog hunkered down in front of her, his growls subdued, but still rumbling with tension.

"Easy there, son." Negan drawled, as the rifle swung to Kayla. "We don't want any trouble here. We were just passing through."

Kayla glanced at him, the tone he was using and lack of curse words surprising her immensely. She got a shimmer of the educator he once was.

"Was machen wir mit ihnen? ( _What are we doing with them?)_ " a younger boy spoke from the side, his wide blue eyes jumping between the older boys. Kayla glanced at Negan who mouthed the word 'German?'.

Shrugging she offered, "Hey uh… look we've just been travelling. We can keep going, no harm meant."

"Be quiet." A teen murmured, his hand tightening around the hatchet in his hand. "We don't trust you."

"Yeah, well likewise." She muttered, her shoulders tightening as he glared at her and stepped forward.

"Elijah. Stay back." The oldest spoke in English finally, his tall, lean frame stepping up to the pair. He held a rifle but kept it pointed at the ground. "How many of you are there?"

"Just us and the dog."

"Do you expect us to believe you?"

"Why'd you fucking ask then?" she snapped, her irritation for the situation getting the better of her. Negan pressed his shoulder against hers, silently telling her to shut the fuck up. Sliding her eyes to his, he scowled at her and spoke, "Don't mind my wife, she's a little anxious when held at gun point. We've had some rough luck lately with some not so nice people."

The leader of the group seemed to calm at the statement, his eyes softening as he looked them over.

"You've been travelling long?"

Negan chuckled some and nodded his head, "Yeah, a while now."

"Just the two of you.. and the dog?"

"Yeah. We uh… we were looking for shelter for the winter."

"Können wir ihnen vertrauen, Jeremiah? ( _Can we trust them, Jeremiah?)"_ the boy who seemed to be second in charge, his dark hair hanging in his eyes slightly. Kayla looked between them and asked, "Is it just you here?"

The question caused them all to tense up and become shifty eyed, the leader now known as Jeremiah, seemed to consider the question thoroughly before reply carefully. "No… there are others."

"I'm guessing you're in charge?" Negan asked, his eyes scanning the group slowly for answers without their reply.

"Yes."

"There's no adults here?"

"I am an adult." The young man responded with an irritated frown.

Negan snorted and drawled, "Let me guess, nineteen.. twenty?"

"Twenty one." Jeremiah replied, his hand tightening around the rifle. "Old enough to take care of problems."

"And we're a problem?"

"Yes."

"What if we aren't a problem, but a solution?" Negan offered, his eyebrows raised in question.

"A solution to what?"

Negan seemed to work on his feet in assessing the group; pulling out reasons they should keep them around. "You need more people to defend this place? Keep people and biters away?"

"We're doing fine on our own."

Huffing out an amused breath, Negan replied, "That why we got so close without you knowing?"

"We knew, we were waiting you out."

"Yeah well, we found you pretty damn easy. Followed the tracks from the farm down the road like breadcrumbs to your quaint little homestead."

Jeremiah looked at the other boys with a scowl, "I told you to cover your tracks."

"We did!" Elijah exclaimed, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Not well enough."

"I told you Eli, we needed to use the pine branch, its stronger."

"Shuddup, Christopher."

"Both of you quiet." Jeremiah snapped, his voice hardening, as the group seemed to unravel under the allegations. "We will discuss this later."

Huffing out a breath, the makeshift leader asked, "What do you mean defending? How?"

"Well, for starters you need some better rifles than shit used at Gettysburg by my grandpappy's pappy." Negan drawled, his tone dry but not aggressive. "Those are liable to blow your damn hands off."

"They work just fine." Jeremiah growled, his cheek flushing angrily. His blonde hair was long enough to hang in his eyes but was kept to the side by his wide hat. Kayla could tell he'd worked the farm since probably a small child, his skin tan and hands calloused. Jeremiah was still young, but she could see the man he would be.

"Have you killed anyone yet?" Negan asked dryly, his eyes hard.

The room was quiet as they all looked to the oldest boy, his hand wringing the gun's handle.

"Our faith teaches pacifism. We don't believe violence is the solution to any problem." Jeremiah replied solemnly, his hands lowering the rifle as the words sunk in. "We will feed you and provide shelter for the evening, but you must move on at dawn."

* * *

They were introduced to the remaining members of the settlement, their ages ranging from three years old to fifteen. Kayla was overwhelmed with the introductions, their names going in one ear and out the other. It had been a long time since meeting a new group and the ones they'd encountered prior had been violent and uncouth. She wasn't prepared for the number of people they faced as they entered the farmhouse straight from the 1800s.

The old stonewalls were locally sourced rock, the floor original and squeaky. The large hearth had a small fire going, it's glowing coals keeping the room warm and inviting. Negan stood nearby speaking to one of the older boys about the number of children they found themselves facing.

"How many of you are there?"

"Fifteen. Eight boys, Seven girls." Elijah explained, tucking hair behind his ear. "We lost the twins last month to fever."

"Bitten?"

"No they just fell ill…. We tried everything we knew… Bea thinks it was measles."

"Anyone else sick now?" Kayla asked, her shoulders tightening at the thought of catching something when medical care was non-existent.

"No, I kept them in the attic to prevent the spread." The teenage girl replied, setting a large pot onto the table. She had shiny brown hair, woven into thick braids and twisted into a bun below her bonnet. Her skirts and apron were black, the length hitting her ankles just above a pair of sturdy leather boots. Beatrice was the oldest girl of the clan, at fifteen she was the mother figure for the children and seemed to run a tight ship.

"Everyone sit please." Beatrice instructed the smaller children, the boys and girls obeying immediately.

Kayla and Negan sat on the long plank bench with four of the children, as everyone bowed their heads in silent prayer. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she watched him cock an eyebrow at the silence and folded hands.

Turning her attention to the spread before them, Kayla swallowed thickly as her mouth watered. On a large wood platter were fresh sliced tomatoes, as well as a large cast iron pot of navy bean stew. In a handmade basket were a couple loafs of thickly cut zucchini bread with freshly churned butter on the side. She could actually feel tears in her eyes looking at the offering and knew Negan was feeling just as overwhelmed at the mere sight of real food. They had come across the occasional unkempt vegetable garden but the last time they'd eaten baked goods or dairy was Sanctuary. A large palm gripped her thigh under the table as Negan comforted her silently.

"Amen." The kids spoke, some quieter than others, as they peered at the outsiders. Even before the world ended, they would've had very limited contact with the modern society. Their community was self-sufficient and except for goods they couldn't make or produce themselves, that the elders would travel into town for, most hadn't met outsiders. The children were homeschooled, their education focusing on their faith and the farm first. Survival was a way of life for them before the dead walked, the only difference now being the lack of adults.

"Please help yourselves." Beatrice offered, her smile soft and almost too understanding.

"Thanks, darlin'." Negan rasped, his hand reaching for the ladle and spooning a bowl full before placing it in front of Kayla. "Eat, sweetheart."

With spoon in hand, Kayla tucked in quickly, while suppressing the desire to gulp it down ravenously. She could feel her mouth being scalded, but couldn't slow herself. The last hot meal they'd had was days upon days ago, the fear of smoke from a campfire bringing unwanted attention had them eating from cans and boxes. A small plate with tomatoes and buttered bread appeared at the edge of her tunnel vision, interrupting a shovelful of soup.

Glancing up she found a few of the kids watching her with wide eyes and Negan smirking sadly. Swallowing the last bite, she took a slice of bread and laid a tomato on it. She paused a moment before biting, her desire to savor every moment of fresh food thoroughly. A moan escaped despite her desire to stay quiet, the enjoyment too much to bear. The sweet but sour tomato bursting with flavor, the taste reminding her of the dinners they'd shared in Sanctuary.

"Holy shit." Negan grumbled after his first bite of food, his head tilted back and eyes closed. Kayla snorted, her lips twitching as he moaned, while chewing every bite thoroughly.

"That's a curse." A small voice spoke from the other side of the table, the girl no more than four with blonde ringlets.

Kayla smiled, as Negan smoothed things over with his boyish charm. "I apologize, dollface. It's been quite awhile since our last real meal."

"How do you eat then?" A boy asked, his bowl-cut hanging in his eyes.

"Cans mostly, whatever we could scavenge." Negan explained, biting into the bread with a groan. "Man, whoever baked this shi-tuff is my new bestie. It's go-sh darn good."

Kayla chuckled under her breath at his poorly edited compliments and offered, "Everything delicious. We really appreciate the meal, it's been hard out there... thank you."

The room was filled with the sounds of cutlery and slurps of broth, the strangeness of being sounded by new people leaving Kayla as time went on. Eventually she slowed down, as did Negan and the questions began.

"How long has it been just you guys?" Negan asked, his eyes floating over the smaller children at the end of the table.

"Bishop Eldridge passed away last spring, he had a heart condition. He was the last of our elders." Jeremiah informed, his hand placing his spoon down as he finished.

"What happened to everyone else?" Kayla asked, her gaze sliding to Beatrice and the other oldest girl taking care of the two smallest children. "How did this happen?"

"It wasn't all at once. In the beginning though we lost many. Word came from two farms over that they needed help, that outsiders were attacking them."

"Outsiders?"

"The modern men." A skinny blonde girl spoke, her wire rimmed glasses taped on one side.

"My father and many others went to help protect their land... they never came back."

"Some of them did." Elijah muttered, his eyes flicking to Beatrice who frowned.

"They were sick, like the others." Jeremiah explained, leaning his arms onto the table. "The remaining elders decided we needed to care for them. It's an illness and we would need to find the salve for it."

"It's not curable." Negan rasped, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"We know that now."

Kayla asked what had been on their minds since discovering the farm down the lane. "But you're still putting them in the barn?"

"We don't know what else to do with them and it was what the elders instructed us to do."

"You have to kill them."

"That would be murder and it goes against our faith." Jeremiah replied evenly, his tone firm and resolute.

Kayla and Negan glanced at each other at the statement, the idea that they hadn't killed before surprising both of them.

"What was with the weapons then? If you don't use them?" Kayla asked.

Jeremiah seemed to blush at the question, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "We were kind of hoping it would scare you off."

Kayla smirked at the comment and looked at Negan, who rolled his eyes. "Well that worked out well." He deadpanned.

* * *

Negan stood with Jeremiah, as Kayla sat with the children in the vegetable garden. He smiled as she spoke with the small blonde girl, who had taken a shine to her.

"Anna has missed her mother, I believe she finds your wife a suitable replacement." Jeremiah spoke next to him as they circled the gardens to approach the larger outbuilding. "Did you have children?"

"No. We met after all of this happened."

"Will you have them?"

"I don't think it's in the cards for us. The world isn't made for it."

"We're surviving."

"You've been lucky." Negan replied, his gaze trailing over the long stretches of stalls to see a few large plow horses and two dairy cows. The end was converted into a chicken coop, the remaining birds providing the group with fresh eggs and the occasional poultry meat.

"God's plan isn't based on luck. We survive by following his path and using the tools our elders provided." Jeremiah informed, handing him a pail of oats for the horses. "Split this between the two, while I take care of the mucking."

The huge black horse huffed out a rough breath as Negan approached, his snout releasing dragon's breath in the cold air. Hesitating a moment, Negan soothed him with low gravelly words. " _Easy_  there big guy. Easy."

The horse was the pitchest of blacks, the rich nothingness of it, shining blue under the lanterns glow. It's thick flanks rippled with heavy muscles, the occasional twitch shivering through the impressive frame. He was the biggest goddamn horse, Negan had ever seen. "You're one scary motherfucker." Negan murmured into the horse's mane. Smoothing a large hand up the wide bridge of his nose, Negan rasped, "That's it, easy."

"His name's King. My father's best stud, he can clear a whole field by himself in an afternoon." Jeremiah spoke, while shoveling horse and cow shit out of the pens. His voice was filled with pride, both for the horse and his father.

"I'm guessing that's fucking fast?"

"You use quite a lot of vulgarity.. is that common in your people?"

"For me, fuck yes it is." Negan answered honestly before adding, "I'll try my best around the kiddos."

Emptying half the bucket of oats into the horses trough, Negan moved to the second giant beast. The red coat of the draft horse was speckled with white, its huge hooves covered in white hair. It huffed and snorted as Negan dumped the rest of the food into its food bin, the large animal crunching its way through the meal quickly.

"All this work must get tiring," Negan offered, his goal to get Kayla and him a more permanent home for the winter. "I bet you could use some other able bodied hands around here."

"You can't stay." Jeremiah replied evenly, his eyes meeting Negan's tense ones. "Outsiders aren't permitted to live here."

"The world's changed."

"It has but our faith hasn't."

"I'm not asking to change your faith, I'm asking you to practice it." Negan drawled, his hand brushing down the side of King. "Aren't you supposed to help your fellow man out?"

"We are, we're feeding you and providing shelter for the evening." Jeremiah explained, while spreading out new bedding below the cows. "That's more than enough."

"Sending us back out there is as good as murder. We won't make it through winter." Negan needed to provide for his wife and he wasn't going to let the first stroke of good luck they had in months, slip through his fingers. Kayla deserved way more than Negan could give her on his own. Even though brutally painful to his ego, Negan confessed his biggest regret in hopes to sway the young man.

"I failed my first wife. Before all this." His voice turned hoarse. "I wasn't a good man to her and when all of this happened I lost her. I became a monster afterwards."

His hand swept a brush through the thick hair running down the draft horses flank. It whinnied deeply, butting its head against Negan's chest as he ruffled its mane. The sound and action had Negan smirking slightly, the animal soothing his nerves. Glancing up at Jeremiah, Negan continued, "Then I met Kayla and for awhile I was able to take care of her. Provide for her. Now… fuck it's like one damn thing after another and I'm not one to ask for fuck all, from no one, but I'm asking for chance to show you that we could help. Give us a few days to prove it."

* * *

Kayla and Negan settled into the tiny room the group provided for them, the full sized bed covered in a colorful yet faded quilt. Their packs were resting against the antique walnut dresser, its surface weathered from decades of use. A large metal basin sat in the corner filled with steaming water and atop the dresser were two neatly folded towels. They would be able to bath for the first time in weeks, the idea of warm water almost too good to be true. Beast settled onto a thick wool horse blanket, his heavy sigh showing his own exhaustion from their travels.

The mirror hanging on the wall showed Kayla just how road worn and weary she looked, her face smudged with dirt and eyes heavy with shadows. Negan looked just as exhausted, his brow furrowed and mouth scowled. His face was covered in a thick salt and pepper beard, that was approaching out of control and his thick hair was curling behind his ears.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, woman. Why didn't you tell me I was turning into a crazy hobo?"

"Same reason you didn't tell me I look like death warmed over." She replied dryly, her hand raking a handful of hair from her filthy face. Negan stood behind her, his hands laying on her hips and his head resting against her temple.

"You go first, doll."

"You just wanna get me naked."

"Obviously." He drawled, kissing her temple. "I'll wash your back and fuck, maybe your front. I haven't played with your titties in days."

Snorting at his playful slap on her ass, Kayla took him up on his offer. She began pulling off her stiff, dirty clothing and slowly lowered herself into the tin tub. The water was almost too hot but she couldn't stop from sinking into it fully. Releasing a hissed breath through her teeth, as the water turned her skin pink, Kayla settled into the waist deep water. Negan knelt behind her and used a water pitcher to help wash her back. His large hands scrubbed and massaged her aching back muscles, the rich soap pebbled with exfoliating oats. His touch softened when he reached the deep scarring across her shoulder blade, his fingers gently washing the old wounds. Negan's lips lay gently behind her ear as he worked, his voice rough but soft. "Feel good, darlin'?"

"Very." She sighed, her head tilting back to lie against his shoulder. "It's your turn."

"Not yet." Negan replied, shifting behind her before using the pitcher to wet her tangled hair. His fingers dug into her scalp, turning the supplied shampoo into a fragrant lather. It smelled of lavender and rosemary, the aroma easing her residual tension immediately.

"Damn." He groaned behind her as she eventually rose from the tub scrubbed and rinsed clean. "You're beautiful."

"I'm just cleaner." She deadpanned, drying her body quickly as goose bumps rose all over her skin. The water was not nearly as clean or warm as Negan crouched, but he moaned in pleasure just the same. Kayla helped scrubbed his much taller body as he barely fit inside the metal tub. She rubbed his neck and shoulders as he scrubbed his head and beard with shampoo. When the water cooled to the point of causing shivers to run through him, he climbed out and dried off.

Once dressed into their freshest clothes, both laid down on the bed with weary sighs released immediately. Kayla curled into Negan's side, her face pressed into his shoulder as he wrapped her up in long arms. They lay quietly for a long time, both breathing a bit easier than the last few days and weeks. They hadn't felt any sort of comfort recently and now that they were fed, clean and in a secure shelter, both seemed shell-shocked.

"Sleep sweetheart. I'll keep watch." Negan rasped, his voice hoarse and exhausted. Kayla shook her head, her eyes sliding up sleepily to his face.

"Just sleep with me. They keep watch and Beastie will wake us if anything happens."

Negan seemed to ponder it for a moment, before nodding lazily into her scalp, his lips pressed into her forehead. "Yeah, alright. Probably can't stay awake much longer anyways."

They were quiet for a few more minutes when Negan murmured, "I'm gonna make this work. I'll find a way to stay here."

"I hope so." She whispered, her throat tightening at the sudden flooding of emotion. Kayla didn't feel desperate often, the woman able to weather most crisis's and obstacles with little strain. However, the last few months had been difficult and the longer they'd been trudging through life alone, the harder it was to see anything but the struggle for the rest of their days. The idea that they could possibly put down roots, for even a short time, had her choked with tears.

Negan's large palm cupped her head as he kissed her temple and murmured softly into her warm skin, "I got you, sweetheart. Let it out. I got you."

Her tears soaked his shirt and she shook in his arms until her eyes dried up and all that was left were watery sniffles and shuddered breathes. He stroked her back and combed a gentle hand through her damp hair, until she eventually relaxed into a heavy sleep. They weren't sure what would happen next but both settled in for the first restful sleep in months.


	7. Chapter 7

Kayla sat on the warm stone hearth, watching as the littlest ones played with wooden blocks. Their pudgy fingers and soft skin, not showing the world's hardships yet. The toddlers were oblivious to the horrors of the world and Kayla could feel the kindling desire to protect them at all cost. She had to abandon her niece to the man who killed brother. Rick would raise Judith as his own and Kayla would never see her again. The kids in front of her though, the ones who had taken her in and fed her, she could keep them safe. She  _would_  keep them safe.

Beatrice was perched on a chair as she combed and braided several of the girl's hair in a methodical way, her fingers weaving a practiced motion. She worked, while instructing another on the wool knit they were creating.

"Over, then under, Hannie." The lilt in her voice sounding foreign to Kayla's ears.

"Are you German?"

"Our ancestors are, we speak old German or as the English call it Pennsylvania Dutch." Beatrice explained.

"The English?"

"Outsiders. We refer to you as English."

"Oh."

"May I ask you question?" The second eldest girl spoke cautiously.

"Sure, if you tell me your name again."

"Ingrid." She replied with a smile, her cheeks dimpling. The girl looked to be thirteen or fourteen, her brown hair wound up into a braided bun much like Beatrice's. She was tall and thin for her age, her hands showing the life of hard work.

"Your scars? How did you acquire them?"

"I was attacked. They cut me."

"I apologize, I shouldn't have." She paled, her head dipping in embarrassment.

"It's okay, it was a long time ago." Kayla assured her. "I forget they're there most of the time." It was a lie of course, because not only was she constantly aware of them, she used them to her advantage. Nothing unhinged others like dramatic facial scars.

"Did you have children before all this happened?" Ingrid asked.

Shaking her head, Kayla replied, "no I wasn't with anyone at the time."

"So you worked?"

"Yeah, at a bank. I..." she paused as she realized she hadn't thought about that life in a very long time. "I lived with my brother, Shane. He uh... he was older than me but just a big dumb kid most the time."

The girls giggled, most of them on the edge of their seats listening. Kayla realized they probably weren't exposed to many new stories about new people. Searching her mind for a kid friendly story involving her brother, the task was pretty hard the older they got.

"One time when we were still in school, we skipped and headed down to the river. Shane thought it was a good idea to get some of those big blow up tubes and float down a ways to the big swimmin' hole. He had this whole thing planned out, a cooler with food and drinks." She chuckled, shaking her head as she explained, "well he took us up too far because we ended up hitting a fork in the river and instead of the swimming hole we ended up in a mud pit."

The girls laughed, the little ones asking, "What happened?"

"We had to hike back covered in the worst smelling sludge ever. I'm pretty sure there had to be sewage in that place. I never let him forget it." She laughed, scratching her temple. "He was good big brother though. Took care of me like you're doin' with your siblings. He was always there for me."

"What happened to him?"

"He died." She replied without explaining, she still couldn't say it. Shane had been gone for a long time and she still couldn't speak of his end. The topic was dropped as a long silence followed, the girls uncomfortable with Kayla's darkened gaze. A throat clearing in the doorway had Kayla jolting from her memory of Rick telling her he had killed Shane. The man showing true remorse, yet not enough to dilute her anger.

"How are all the ladies of the house?" Negan drawled, sauntering in to sit next to Kayla. The older ones chimed in but the others stayed shy and quiet, some smiling behind their hands.

As he sat, she could feel the cold wafting off his broad shoulders, the man working in the barn with Jeremiah for the last couple hours. Reaching out she touched his hand, finding it warmer than she would've thought.

"How're you doin', darlin'?" he rasped quietly, his head dipping to look her over. "Did you eat something?"

Kayla nodded, her lips curling at his worry. "I did. You work up an appetite?"

"Doll, you know me… I'm always  _hungry_."

Smirking at his playful leer, Kayla rasped, "I'll grab you something."

"I got it!" a girl exclaimed, her little body hopping up to the task immediately. Kayla smiled as she rushed from the room, the other girls rolling their eyes.

"That's Erica. She's just excited."

"About what exactly?" Negan drawled, his eyebrow raised.

"The English."

"Why do you call us the English?"

"That's what you speak."

Huffing out a laugh, Negan shrugged, "Okie Dokie. I can't say you're wrong about that."

The slim girl returned from the kitchen with a wood bowl filled with leftover navy bean soup with chunks of carrot and potato. Another girl carried a metal mug with steaming cider, her hands cupping it carefully. Kayla smirked as they shyly handed it to Negan as he thanked them with his most charming grin.

"Mr. Negan?" Ingrid spoke nervously after he began eating, her hands fiddling with the knitting needles rather than working on the pattern.

"Just call me Negan, dollface." He mumbled through a mouthful of soup, wagging the spoon at her.

The girl's cheeks flamed red as he smiled, the sight causing Kayla to bit her lip. She felt for the girl, the man was too goddamn charming.

The rough gravel of his voice and boyish grins, still caught Kayla from time to time.

"Yes, Mr.. er. Negan." She muttered, her eyes pinned to the floor. Negan's rich laugh had her head shooting up before she seemed mortified at being laughed at. Reaching his hand out, he touched her shoulder gently and assured, "Easy. I was just fu- joking with you."

"O-okay." Ingrid choked out, her hands tightening around the yarn in her hands.

"What did you want to ask me, sweetheart?" His voice was gentler, his eyes still glimmering in amusement.

"Um…I was just going to ask what did you do before all this?"

"I was teacher believe it or fu-" shaking his head, he rolled his eyes heavily at the habit he was trying to break. Kayla found it pretty amusing to hear Negan stumbling over words, the man was usually a smooth talking motherfucker. The editing he was doing was painful for him, she could see the way his teeth gnashed on the curse words he suppressed.

"What kind?" Beatrice asked, tying off the last little girl's braids.

"Physical education and sports. I did some health classes."

Kayla smiled at that information, her eyebrow raising. "Oh really?" she purred, into his shoulder, "I think I might need a lesson."

"What, in the teen pregnancy stats of 2007?" he joked, his teeth flashing brightly. "Or were you referring to the  _anatomy_  aspect of the course literature?"

"Fuck you sound like a teacher." She murmured loud enough for only him. Negan rumbled at her statement, the sound vibrating against her ribs and dampening her panties. They eyes locked for a long moment, the reflection of need next to her only heightened the ache.

"Feelin' pretty tired tonight. How about you, sweetheart?" Negan rasped, his eyes dropping to her parted mouth, before rising with hooded lids.

"Very." Kayla's voice was husky and desperate.

Negan's tongue swiped across his teeth, the sight twisting her core pleasurably. His dark eyes were heated over the rim of the mug, as he threw back the last of his cider, the gravelly response clenching her thighs. "Let's hit the hay then, darlin'."

* * *

Negan watched as Kayla pulled off her outer layers and released some of her bound hair, the locks falling loose along her back. His chest heaved as she peeled off her pants and tank top, leaving her in a surprisingly innocent pair of white panties and bra. His lips curled up as she rolled her eyes with a flattering blush pinking her cheeks.

"It's all they had." She huffed, crossing her arms over the modest cotton bra. The fabric was stark against her skin, the contrast only highlighting how gorgeous she was.

"You're sexy." Negan rumbled, pulling on Kayla's wrist to reel her into his chest. Cupping her face, his thumb brushing across her bottom lip. "Like a hot milkmaid."

Trying to pull off a glare despite her twitching lips, Kayla muttered, "Shuddup."

Chuckling deeply, Negan tugged her against his front and splayed his large hands along her ribs. His fingers fit between the indents, his fingertips clutching her to his front to keep her from pulling away. Negan leaned down to her ear and teased, "You're gorgeous, even in granny panties, darlin'."

"Fuck off." She growled, smacking him as he snickered and blocked her blows.

"Okay, okay." He coughed through another belly laugh, his grin flashing at her playfully. "I was just kidding. You're beautiful, baby."

"Shuddup and take off your fucking clothes, before I change my mind."

"Yes, mistress." He sneered teasingly, the flash of irritation that filled her eyes turning him on more than the newly exposed flesh. Yanking his own clothing off, Negan shuffled with her towards the bed. They kissed greedily, hands clutching onto curves and curled in hair. He rumbled deeply as her warm flesh met his, the silky heat sliding against his aching dick.

"Damn, doll. So fucking hot."

Clutching her to his chest, Negan's fingers dug into her flesh as she gripped his dick. "Fu- _ck_." He groaned, his head tipping back heavily with closed eyes.

"You like that." She purred, her hand circling the throbbing ache while stroking with long smooth passes. "Want more?"

"Fuck yes." Negan snarled, climbing over her as they tumbled onto the bed. They spent extensive time exploring each other's mouths, hands massaging and fingers teasing. He couldn't stop himself from sinking two thick fingers into her soaking folds as she writhed below him.

"That's it." He rasped, his breath hot and wet against her breast. "You love it?"

"Yes." She sighed, her head throw back into the pillow. "More."

"Alright, sweetheart." Negan rumbled, while spreading her out and rocking against wet flesh. "I got ya."

Pushing inside, he felt her lips stretching around his dick. The drag of skin against skin, slick with their arousal, had him sinking into a haze. There wasn't much else in the world that could settle Negan's soul like sheathing himself in Kayla's tight little body. Nothing ever felt like home until she was wrapped up around him.

"That's it." He growled into her neck as her thighs tightened against his hips, her wet walls clenching as he pumped a slow, firm rhythm. "Feel you, darlin'. Feel so fucking good, baby."

"Fuck." She hissed as he thrust as deep and as hard, as he could. "Yes. More. Harder."

"Any harder and I'll put this fucking headboard through the wall." He growled into her neck before trying just that, his dick aching from the grip of her tightening heat.

Her fingers dug into his biceps and she bit into his forearm as her body shuddered violently below him. Kayla arched and bowed, her thighs squeezing his hips, as he ground his dick inside her.

"Fuck… fuck." She moaned, her neck arched beautifully as he sucked and licked his way breathless along salty skin.

"Fuck, sweets. Yeah. That's it's, that's it." Negan growled against her breasts, as she came underneath him like a wild little thing, her nails scraping his skin red and biting into the muscles. "There you are. Fuck, doll. Keep cummin'. Just like that."

"Negan." Kayla gasped, her body arching off the bed as he spread her legs flat and kept his thrusts deep and thorough. Once was never enough for him to be satisfied he'd given her everything she deserved, he got off on getting her off. Nothing felt better than her core squeezing him dry.

"Baby. Fucking hell." He groaned when she climbed on top of him, her pussy sliding against his hot skin. "You wanna ride this dick baby."

"Yes." Kayla sighed as he filled her from below, her thighs trembling under his grip. She rocked against his lap, her body undulating above him like some kind of beautiful creature. Curling and bowing around him, sucking him up and licking him clean. Kayla was everything to him, nothing ever felt so good or complete until he sunk inside her.

"Cum for me, sweetheart." She purred into his mouth, their breaths panted, and hurried as she writhed atop him. "Want you to fill me up."

"Fucking hell, doll. You can't say shit like that. Fuck… I… don't wanna stop." He groaned as she rolled her hips in a seductive pattern, his mind changing instantly. "Shit. Fuck. Don't stop…. Fuck. Don't stop doll."

"Never." She gasped, as he drove himself inside her, his feet flat and hips thrusting from the bed. "Fuck… Negan. I'm gonna-."

"Cum again baby and I'll fill you so deep when you do."

With quick movements, Negan had her pinned on her stomach as he rut into her from behind. His hand buried into the soft hair at the nape of her neck, while he smothered her body with his. He could feel her body sucking him in greedily, her hips arched from the bed to take everything he wanted to give her.

"There you go. Beg baby." He growled, his teeth nipping at her shoulder as he thrust hard and fast into her silky heat. "Beg me."

"Please. Make me cum again." She gasped before he gave her exactly what she needed, his large hand sliding below her stomach to thrum against her swollen hood. The tight heat became almost impossible to move through when she shuddered and shook below him. Kayla's orgasm clenched onto his dick with no restraint. Negan moaned as she gripped him until his balls tightened and his head pulsed deep and hard inside her. His hips stuttered as he ground into her heat, the tight lips refusing his retreat with every pull.

"Fuck doll. Gotta give it back." He grunted as she squeezed him so tight his dick refused to soften. Kayla giggled below him, her muscles clenching around his swelling shaft.

"No, it's mine." She murmured, her eyes peeking over her sweaty shoulder.

"Well, yeah it is." Negan rumbled above her, placing open-mouthed kisses along her soft neck and shoulder. "But it's still attached to me and your making me want to fuck you more."

"And the problem is?"

* * *

The next morning, Kayla and Negan took Beast to check the perimeter, as well as the barn holding the group of dead settlers. Negan was paranoid that the horde would get out, despite Jeremiah's instance of it being secure. Kayla couldn't blame him. The idea of a possible herd just a few miles down wind was not comforting.

They trailed along the cattle fencing, Negan testing the rails and posts for weakness. Kayla kept her eyes on the woods and surrounding farmland for any tracks, while the muscly dog trotted ahead in the wet snow. Occasionally he would snarl and paw at the ground, the canine sniffing out dormant biters. Kayla would use her machete to kill any frozen dead, their slow grinding teeth the only signs of life as their limbs frozen solid.

Kayla joined Negan at the structure containing the undead, the low groans barely noticeable as the temperatures dipped into the teens. She could see her panted breath filtered through her scarf, the white clouds filling the air as they hiked the trail. She peered up the well-worn path, the boys obviously neglecting their print covering tasks. Frowning she made note to figure out a way to remedy the issue now that the ruts were so noticeable.

"We need a heavy snow." Negan muttered, his voice hoarse from the long trek in shin deep snow and freezing air. "Fucking highway leading to our front door."

"They're letting us stay then?"

"Yes."

"Yes, they said yes or yes, I'm Negan and I get what I want?"

Negan huffed out a breath, his nose red from the cold despite his thick wool scarf wrapping half his face. "Nothing wrong with an accurate sense of self worth."

Snorting at his cocky remark, Kayla replied, "Okay smart ass. What're we doing with this catastrophe waiting to happen?"

"We gotta go in and see what kind of numbers we have. It's cold as a witch's titty out here, so they're going to be slow. It's the best time to put them all down."

"And then we say, hey so we killed your elders or whatever. You're welcome."

"First off, their elders are dead already. Second, they gotta learn or they ain't making it." Negan replied softly while looking over the lock on the door. A thick coating of ice covered the mechanism and doorknob from the sleet storm the night before. There was no way to open it without making a lot of noise, not to mention the possibility that the lock would be too frozen to turn.

"Gotta find another way in. This doors fucked until it gets warmer out." Negan muttered before trailing his eyes along the building. Kayla circled the structure, finding an opening that was once used to load hay through. It was out of reach for both of them but if Negan hoisted her up, she could make it.

"There."

"You got wings baby?"

"No but I have a gangly fuck who could lift me." she replied, dodging the smack he tried to land on her ass.

"I'm not fucking gangly." Negan growled, tossing his bag to the ground to get ready to lift her.

"Right." She chuckled, her laugh muffled through her scarf as she shed her own backpack. "Tall then?"

"Fucking huge." He drawled, tugging her scarf off to kiss her deeply. Exploring her mouth for a moment, both sunk into each other until the cutting winds whipped through the air.

"Jesus." Kayla gasped at the gust, her body curling into Negan's.

"Cold as balls out here. Let's get this shit done." He rasped, crouching by the opening with his hands cupped together. "Don't do anything stupid in there, dollface."

Smirking, Kayla stepped into his cupped palms and braced herself on his shoulders before he propelled her up to the open sill. After a few quick breathes, she pulled her body up and into the opening to find herself on a platform overlooking the large structure.

"You okay, Kay?" Negan rasped from the ground, his voice just loud enough for her to hear over the howling wind.

Giving him a thumbs up, Kayla tested the wood beams carefully. The last thing she wanted was to fall into the mouths of a bunch of undead. Finding the flooring sturdy, she approached the edge to get an idea of a head count on their problem. Using a dull setting on her flashlight, Kayla trailed the beam over the room. The huge area was once used to contain and sort cows. Some stalls were outfitted with large equipment for milking heifers, the long rows lined with tubing and metal containers. The floors were packed dirt, the musty smell of cow shit almost covered by the smell of the undead.

Hissing and low growls erupted as the light passed over the horde below her. A gasp escaped her throat as the number of frozen, snarling faces appeared before her. There were near a hundred dead ones shuffling inside the structure. Some were crowded together, clothing and spilled viscera freezing them together into big amoebic clusters. She sneered at the groupings as they clawed at the air, their blackened mouths crunching as they growled.

"Fuck." She cursed, turning the light off and retreating to the opening. Negan would not be pleased with her findings. The numbers were higher than they estimated and the way in which they were clustered together would make it difficult to put them down.

"Well?"

"Well, we've got a huge fucking problem." She huffed, lowering herself from the sill and into his hands. Grasping her by the hips, Negan lowered her to the ground. His mouth pressed against her neck affectionately before he stepped away to grab their bags.

"How many?"

"Gotta be near a hundred head in there. Some of in big groups, frozen together." She explained, shrugging her pack on. "Not sure there's an easy way to get rid of them."

"Wish we could just burn the fuckin' thing down but it'd draw too much attention." Negan muttered, as they circled the structure for a better look at its defenses.

"Should we check out the house?" Kayla asked, her eyes watering as the icy winds whipped across the snowy fields.

"I'd imagine they've already scavenged them." Negan replied, before pausing in his stride towards the beaten path. "Although… stealing is probably another rule or something."

Kayla snorted, "probably a shit ton of stuff in there then."

* * *

Negan stood in the root cellar looking at shelves of supplies just collecting dust. Neatly organized jars and tins, all labeled meticulously in elegant script. The woman of the house was an orderly wife.

"Fuck, there's more than enough for winter for all of us." He drawled, smiling at Kayla as she thumbed through a closet of outerwear. Pulling out a thick wool jacket, she held it up in his direction with narrowed eyes.

"This'll fit you. You're lucky all these farmers are tall, there's plenty of warm clothes for you."

"I'm not dressing like some cult fuck."

"It's not a cult, well anymore than any other fucking religion is." She shrugged, "at least they take care of their own, more than most people do for each other."

Negan pulled her closer and murmured, "I'm taking care of you, darlin'. Always will."

He sunk his hands into her hair and kissed her deeply. Kayla whimpered into his mouth as he slid his tongue along hers. They leaned heavily into each other, fingers curled into fabric and bruising flesh below.

"Fuck, I love you."

"Aww. Ain't that sweet." A voice crackled across the cold basement, a sudden flicker of light from a flashlight. Two men had snuck in while Negan and Kayla were distracted, their guns were drawn and steady.

Negan raised his hands a bit, his position turning slightly to block Kayla from the barrels. He hoped she had something sharp and easily aimed handy.

"How's it hanging fellas?" Negan drawled, his eyes scanning their clean clothing and groomed appearances. They had a base, something secure enough to allow a man to keep his face cleanly shaved and his cargos stain free.

"Mine ain't hanging right now, big guy. It's pointing due fuckin' north to that hot piece of ass. What's your name honey?" The larger of the men leered, his grin widening as Negan growled.

"I don't think he wants to share, Don."

"Too bad the fucks got no say in what we do to this gash." Don informed, his gun rising to Negan's forehead. "See, if we find some pussy out here, we get first dibs. Ain't nothin' left but torn up shit back home, I need some fresh fucking meat."

Negan snapped instantly, his head narrowly missed by the fired bullet as Don began unloading his firearm. Kayla had joined in the fight a split second after Negan by chucking a large blade into the second man's throat. He fell gasping as she attacked the man firing slugs at them. They both ducked as he aimed from the stairwell.

"Give up now and we won't make you watch." The man hollered, a dark chuckle resonating across the room. "Well not all of it at least, you're gonna watch me ride that ass for hours."

Kayla signaled her plan, her lithe body moving before he could dissuade her. She scurried along the stone wall quicker than he thought possible, her eyes on the prize just barely hidden from view. He watched as she took aim with a small handgun she kept as back up to her blade, the tiny thing easily hidden in her boot.

The sound was explosive as she fire of two quick shots into the man. Negan heard him scream and then gurgle, the bullets obviously hitting his neck and face. The sound of him falling down the stairs unwound Negan's shoulders as Kayla joined him again.

"There might be more." He whispered, as he jammed his knife into the fallen men's skulls. "We gotta be careful and we gotta cover all those fucking tracks back to the farm."

"Let's clear the area first. Where's Beast?"

"Must be locked outside."

"All the gunfire was bad." She whispered as they ascended the stairs, both straining to hear anything from the first floor. Negan stood at the door, his head peeking around the corner to see an empty kitchen and dining room. They progressed through the entire house while peering out windows at the surrounding land. There were a few dead coming towards the sounds, but nothing else seemed out of place. Kayla pointed out the path the men came from, it was their original trek from the woods. Their prints had drawn in predators.

"Fuck. It needs to snow. It's the only way to get everything covered."

"Well it feels too cold for it right now." She replied, shrugging on her bag and opening the back door. Beast jumped all over her, nipping at her jacket excitedly. Negan huffed, "Where the fuck were you, huh? You're supposed to guard us, shithead."

"Leave him alone. He was probably off hunting."

"Whatever. We almost got killed and what the fucking fuck was that guy talking about. It sounds like they have some fucked up rape den." Negan growled, his eyes scanning the woods cautiously as they hiked back to the farmstead.

"I don't want to know." Kayla muttered, her breath coming out through the scarf wrapping her face. "Sick pricks."

"Yeah. Well. That ain't fucking happening to you."

"Fuck no it isn't."

* * *

Kayla and Negan informed Jeremiah about the men they ran into. They explained how they had to kill them, that it was self-defense, but the young man struggled to accept their explanations. It took heavy persuasion to allow them to stay the night and Negan was more than a little upset at the turn in events. All he wanted was to find them a safe home and now that they found it, they weren't welcome.

She sat on the bed watching him pace the tiny room, her brow furrowed and arms wrapping her folded legs. Kayla was worried about what Negan would do if the group decided they needed to leave. It would be surprising to her if he harmed any of them, most being under age. However she couldn't see him walking away from the opportunity.

"We can't leave." He growled, his hand scratching his scruffy jawline.

"We might have too." She replied, shrugging her shoulders. "We'll just go down to the other farm. There's plenty of shit left for just us."

He stopped a moment before nodding and raking a hand through his hair. "Huh.. fuck. I must be losing my goddamn mojo because I didn't even think about that."

"You're just worried about the kids." She offered.

Huffing out a breath, he growled, "Fuck them if they don't want to learn they can rot here."

Kayla rolled her eyes at his angry words. "You don't mean that."

"Yeah, well… whatever." He scoffed, crossing his arms over his wide chest. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't but it's ri-goddamn-dicious to kick us out for fucking protecting them."

"It'll work out. It always does." Kayla offered, her belief in the words not fully heartfelt.

Negan rolled his eyes before slumping down on the edge of the bed, his broad back facing Kayla. Sliding her palms up the wide expanse, she knelt behind him while wrapping her arms around his chest. She burrowed her face into the side of his neck and kissed the warm skin behind his ear.

"Whatever happens, we'll do it together." Kayla murmured, kissing along his neck while stroking his chest. "Always."

Negan rumbled against her, his voice reverberating against her body wrapping his. "Like the sound of that." He whispered, folding his hands over her little ones.

"Always?"

"Us together always."

Smiling at his words, Kayla pressed her forehead against the side of his face and kissed his scruffy cheek. "Good. Me too."

* * *

Negan adjusted the thick leather gloves gifted to him by Jeremiah, as he watched the group along the stretch of fencing they were repairing. He spent the entire night racking his brain for ways to convince a bunch of kids to let them stay. If he were the old Negan, there would be no convincing, there would be his goddamn word and his goddamn decision. Nothing more, nothing less. He wasn't that man anymore, at least he was trying to not be, but the longer they were out in the world, the harder it was to not just…  _take_.

Take everything from everyone.

Negan knew Kayla was right, they could just go down the road and set up camp. The group wouldn't force them out, they wouldn't dare but that wasn't what Negan wanted. He wanted to keep the kids safe and they were far from prepared for the type of world that was out there. They may know how to grow food and live sustainably, but defending themselves from the likes of those two men Kayla and he and run into, was out of their wheelhouse. They needed Negan and Kayla to defend their land, to defend the innocence that somehow survived the apocalypse.

"Hold this." He grumbled to the young boy helping him repair a cross beam that had fallen under the weight of the heavy ice. The kid struggled for a moment before adjusting his hands and allowed Negan to nail the wood board into place.

"Good job." He rasped as they finished up, his eyes scanning the woods for movement. The run in with outsiders had jumped started his paranoia, his defenses up and armed.

Finding nothing of consequence, Negan joined the rest of the group as they worked on raising a long fence panel that fell under the weight of a icy tree branch. The winds had picked up the night before and several trees were brought down, one in particular was responsible for a large section of fencing down. They were uncovering the wood beams when snarls erupted from underneath the snow. Three biters had been buried under the snowy tree limbs, their hands clawing at the frozen earth with broken fingers.

Elijah tripped as the bodies came alive with the disruption of their snowy grave, his knees landing directly on top of one of the writhing corpses. Jeremiah tried to grab his brother but slipped on the tangle of branches. Elijah shouted as the dead man's hand tore at his clothing with a surge of energy, it's first meal in months landing on it's back.

Negan did not hesitate as he slammed his hammer through the corpse rotting head. It's teeth had found its way onto Elijah's pant leg, the jaws barely closing before releasing with Negan's death blow.

The frantic moment lasted mere seconds but all involved were breathing heavy and shocked wide-eyed. Negan yanked his hammer out before putting down the other three bodies buried nearby, all while the teens watched. He could feel the blackened blood splattering his clothing and the snow but focused on ridding the group of the problem. Once done, he turned his attention to Elijah, who hadn't moved from his spot on the ground.

"You okay kid?" Negan asked, helping him from pile of dead limbs. "It bite ya?"

"N-no… t-thank you. You saved my life."

"No big deal." He grumbled, brushing snow off the kid's jacket. "It's what we gotta do. Protect each other."

Negan made eye contact with Jeremiah for a long moment, a silent conversation going on before the young leader spoke, "Let's finish up and get back. Dinner should be ready soon."

Nodded his head in agreement, Negan drawled, "That mean we're staying for dinner?"

Jeremiah dipped his head while tugging the branches away from the dead bodies. "It wouldn't be right to turn you away.. not after saving my brother's life. We… we need your help…. I need your help."

Negan grinned at the young leader, clutching his shoulder and replied, "Hell kid. All you gotta do is ask."

* * *

Kayla noticed Negan's mood as soon as they returned from fixing the fenceline. She'd packed their bags and had readied their gear while he was away but it looked as though they might not be leaving as they thought. She helped prepare dinner as the men removed the heavy coats and gloves, all looking exhausted from the working outdoors in the cold.

"What happen?" she murmured as she set the table, Negan slumping down in his seat.

"Gave them a demonstration of what we can do for them." Negan replied, his eyes skipping over to the teens before returning to hers.

"So we're stayin'?" she asked, hope swelling in her chest so suddenly her voice cracked. Kayla hadn't realized how stressed she'd become with their fate on the farm in limbo until he inferred that they'd be staying.

Smiling sadly at her, Negan pulled her against his side and drawled, "I told you I'd take care of it… of you."

"I know I just…"

"I know." He interrupted, his hand gripping her hip affectionately. "I know we haven't had much fucking luck on me keeping my word but this is it sweetheart. This is gonna be home and we're gonna make it last."

Kayla smiled softly at his statement, her throat tightening at the hope they'd generated. She wasn't sure if their time on the farm would last but for the time being they had a home. It was more than they'd had in too many months and they would both fight to keep it.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Ice glittered off the trees, the blooming sun hitting the frozen limbs on a new day.

A 'good fucking day' in Negan's mind. The best he'd had, in far too long.

They had shelter, a place to lay their heads and possibly live their lives. He fought to keep the painful aching feeling of hope from filling his chest cavity, but it was slowly taking over. They were home and they were welcome.

Negan couldn't remember the last time he was welcomed anywhere. Not counting Kayla, there wasn't one person, alive or dead, he could think of that would honestly look upon his face with genuine hospitality. A betting man would wager it hadn't been that different before the shit hit the proverbial fan either.

Negan had always been an asshole, pushing people away with his vulgarity and poor life choices. Cheating and lying to his wife, his beautiful cancer ridden wife. He had a lot of regrets in his life, too many after the fall of society. However, his largest and most painful to think of was what he did to Lucille. They had their good times, and she wasn't innocent, but he caused the crumbling of their relationship long before she was dying. If she hadn't gotten sick, she would've kicked his pitiful ass to the curb.

However, the kids looked at him as something other than a monster. They welcomed him into their home and given him a chance to redeem himself from the mistakes he made with Sanctuary, Alexandria and all the other communities he'd chosen to curb stomp with his size thirteens.

He would keep the kids alive and he may be brutal about it, but he wouldn't be cruel. Negan would keep them safe and he'd do it without losing himself. Kayla would help. She would keep him from turning back into something skewed and hollow. Something rotten.

"You're up early." Jeremiah rasped, his voice and face heavy with sleep, as he blew warm air into his cupped hands.

"Early bird catches the worm, Jerry." Negan replied, flashing him a grin. "I figured I'd help you with your mornin' to-do's. Take some fucking weight off your shoulders."

The younger man gave him a sharp nod of gratitude and motioned to the barn, "First we feed, then we muck."

* * *

The girls were in the process of making dinner when Kayla joined them in the kitchen. She could see the way they all had a task, each taking steps to make the meal for their family. Sitting on the floor near the large hearth were to two littlest children. She watched as one mouthed a carrot, as the other waved a patchwork stuffed bunny at her. Smirking at the kid's toothy grins, Kayla crouched down and softly combed the hair from the little girl's eyes.

"Hey there, sweet-pea." She murmured, softly scanning over the girl who reminded her of Judith. "Is that your favorite toy?"

"That used to be Erica's, she gave it to Mary when we lost her teddy." Ingrid informed, her hand pinching the ends off green beans grown in their small greenhouse.

"It's cute." Kayla murmured, her hand cupping the girl's head gently. "She… uh.. she reminds me of my niece."

Ingrid smiled at the information, but slowly it fell as she asked, "Your niece… is she…?"

"She's alive." Kayla replied, her eyes flicking to the teen momentarily. "She's just… living somewhere else."

"With your brother's wife?" Beatrice joined the conversation, as she stirred a large pot hanging over the fireplace hearth.

"No." Kayla shook her head, "Judith's mom passed away when giving birth. She uh… lives with my other brother now."

"Oh." Ingrid murmured, "I didn't know you had another brother."

"He's kinda my surrogate brother."

The girl's looked at her in confusion, the term not something they used. Kayla shrugged her shoulder slightly, the conversation turning uncomfortable.

"We aren't related but we grew up together." She explained, her lips tightening as she thought about Rick. "Anyways… he uh.. he is taking care of Judith."

"Why wouldn't you take care of her? Or why aren't you there?"

"We couldn't stay." Kayla replied, shaking her head slightly. "It wasn't safe for us to stay but she's safe there. They'll keep her safe."

"But how do you know?" Ingrid asked, "Wouldn't it be better if you were there to help protect her?"

Kayla swallowed thickly; the knowledge of not being able to protect Judith was always in the back of her head. "It's better this way." She replied, standing up to change the subject. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"Could you get the little ones into their cribs? It's their nap time." Beatrice asked, her tone careful as though Kayla might refuse. Smiling, she dipped her chin and murmured, "Of course."

* * *

He stood in the doorway watching Kayla slowly bounce the youngest of the group of kids, the small toddler struggling to relax for his nap. She was murmuring soft sounds of encouragement as she paced, her lips pressing to the child's forehead.

The sight had Negan's chest cinching up into a tight knot, his breathing restricted as emotions he hadn't felt since before the turn. Children hadn't ever made it on Negan's radar while married to Lucille. They'd spoken about it, he was a teacher after all, if anyone should want kids it would be him. They never got around to it and by the time they were in their forties to was too late, Lucille was sick and he was a cheating shitbag. Seeing Kayla holding an infant, her soft voice singing something close to a lullaby, ignited something in his gut. Something raw and needy.

"You look beautiful." He whispered as her eyes met his, her lips curling at his compliment.

Kayla slowly lay the now sleeping child down, her fingers brushing hair from his face before tucking in the girl next to him. Negan watched her eyes soften as she peered down at the child, her gaze finally rising to his.

"I miss her even though I didn't get to know her." She confessed, her eyes slightly glassy as she returned them to the sleeping children. "I know he'll take care of her but… I still worry."

"I don't blame you, darlin'." Negan drawled, wrapping a long arm around her shoulder, reeling her into his chest to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry we can't be there."

"I know." She whispered into his sternum, her lips gently kissing his neck.

"We're here now though." He pulled back to look over her sad expression. "We have these kiddos to look after. If we weren't here, they'd be by themselves."

"Yeah." She replied, nodding slightly at the knowledge that they were where they were needed.

"Maybe someday we can go back."

Kayla shook her head slightly, her eyes going to the window as a storm seemed to roll in, little fragments of ice pelting the farmhouse windows and roof. "Its better if we don't go back."

* * *

Kayla watched as Beast sniffed his way along the scrubby line of bushes, their leaves long gone and buried under a foot of snow. He was antsy all morning, his ears up and eyes scanning the property. It had Kayla on guard. The dog had honed instincts, the type that humans long forgot and if he was on edge, Kayla damn well better be.

It was still icy outside, the night before had produced sleet, which froze over every surface imaginable. The boys laid cinder on the walkways to help with possible slips, but the world was a virtual ice rink. Kayla had a bruise the size of Texas on her ass to prove it.

She let her eyes skim the fields beyond, blinking through tears as the winds picked up. Ice crystals collected on her lashes as they froze in the gusts. Her breath came in short pants, the temperature uncomfortable to breath in. Sharp and sterile.

Winter was getting old and it seemed to last longer every year. The lack of air pollution seemed to affect the weather, Mother Nature rebalancing from the loss of human life. It seemed that everyone and everything was adjusting to the new world.

Beast growled lowly as his nose caught a scent in the air, his back hair standing on end. It was the low rumble he emitted when danger was approaching, the one that had Kayla's spine stiffening and eyes narrowing.

"Is it dead, Beastie?" She asked quietly, pulling out her binoculars to get a better idea of what may be headed their way. Twisting the little knob, Kayla focused the lenses and began scanning the horizon for movement. She picked up a few shadows moving among the dried corn stalks, the gaits similar to the lazy stride of the dead.

"Just some dead fucks, B." Kayla offered, her hands almost dropping the scopes when she caught a flash of light. Her breath caught as she peered through the black lenses and found movement of another kind. Three men were walking towards them, two with rifles and the other carrying a crossbow. Beyond them, she found a slow moving ATV carrying two people. It drove over the snowy hills easily, the huge tires obviously made for snow. The sound of it reached her ears, the revving growl sounding ominous. They were a mile out and their approach wasn't hurried but it was inevitable. Their path would lead to the farm's front door.

"Fuck." She huffed, turning on her heel to tell Negan of the approaching threat. It looked as though it was time to protect the farm like they said they would.

* * *

"How many?" Negan growled, pulling his handgun out to double check his magazine. Kayla had come bearing bad news and now they were preparing for the worst.

"Five armed men that I saw, two on an ATV, they look put together so there's probably more. I think their scouts." She offered, sliding her new weapon into its sheath, the little hatchet made in the farm's wood shop.

"I want the littlest ones barricaded in the cellar." Negan began rattling off instruction to Beatrice and Jeremiah. "If they get inside or try to burn us out, the cellar's got the door to the garden."

Beatrice's hands were ringing as she listened, her wide eyes meeting Kayla's.

Negan continued despite the girl's frantic gaze. "You'll take them out the door and head through the fields."

"Where will we go, how will we get there, what if they follow?" The teen rattled of questions.

"You'll go to the paddock in the south field." Jeremiah instructed, his tone solid but eyes nervous. "Stay there and wait for us."

"What if they follow, Jeremiah?"

"We will keep their attention." Negan assured, despite his own doubts at succeeding in anything other than a blood bath. "You go there if things go south and we will come get you."

Negan shuffled to the front of the home and peered out the window, the movement coming through the field holding his attention. Kayla sided up next to him and murmured, "You think we should head them off? Keep 'em from getting too close?"

"Could meet them at the perimeter. Feel them out. If they're looking for their men, they aren't the type we want hanging around, but maybe their just passing through."

"Let's go." Kayla replied, her eyes meeting his with determination. "If they don't back off, we'll take care of it."

Swallowing through a dry throat, Negan gripped her wrist as she tried to pass. "Things go south, you haul ass out of there. Come back and get the kids safe."

"I'm not running away." Kayla muttered, her hard eyes meeting his. "Things go south, we kill every single one of those fucks together."

* * *

Kayla kept her handgun raised and ready, her eyes narrowed as the men stopped at the tree line. Negan held the rifle, his voice rumbling across the small clearing, "Stop where you are."

The woods grew silent as the men stopped walking, the all terrain vehicle slowing to a stop before the growling engine was cut short. Kayla could feel sweat dripping down her spine, her hand tightening on the grip of her gun as the men stared back at them.

"How're you folks?" the man in front asked, his deep set eyes looking over the two in front of him.

"Peachy, you're trespassing. Turn 'round and head out." Negan instructed, his chin tipping toward the direction they came. "Nothing here for you."

"We're looking for a couple of people." Another man stated, "You seen anybody else lately?"

"Nope." Negan replied, his eyes narrowing. "This ain't a fucking Holiday Inn. Now turn around and we won't have any fucking problems."

"I think we got off on the wrong foot." The older gentleman stated, his hands rising slightly as Negan settled the rifle barrel in his direction. "We're not looking to start anything, we just got a couple folks missing is all."

"Well, you're shit out of luck because we haven't seen them."

"We haven't told you what they look like." One man growled, his eyes raging behind the bland expression. Kayla tried to get a read on the men but besides the fire behind their eyes, nothing was certain.

"No one's come through here, until you dumbfucks strolled onto private fucking property." Negan sneered, his eyes flicking to the men on the ATV. "Take your Bigwheels and fuck the fuck off."

Kayla shifted uncomfortably as the air seemed to slowly charge, the men all rising to the threat in front of them. She was beginning to think killing them before they even stepped foot near the property would've been a better idea.

"See, that's gonna be a problem." Their apparent leader replied, his weight shifting from one foot to the other. "The men we're looking for are family, my brother's kid. He's a pain in my ass but you know how it is.. blood is blood… you gotta take care of your own."

"I don't give a baboon's red ass about your nephew or your problems. Walk away or shit is about to get real loud and real fucking painful for you." Negan threatened, his barrel resting at the other man's head level. "I can shoot the dick off a horse fly from this distance, how easy do you think I can hit your huge fuck ugly melon?"

Kayla kept her aim on the closest man, while planning where she would aim once firing, the second nearest man was tightening his grip around his own weapon.

"Easy." The other man spoke softly, his hands raising slightly. "Let's not get violent, we'll back up and head out if you let us."

The moment was tense as the men slowly receded from the property, their eyes jumping back as Kayla and Negan stood their ground. They stayed silent as the other group faded into the woods, their breath foggy and rapid.

"You think-."

"They ain't leavin'." Negan interrupted, "We gotta prepare for them to attack. Probably tonight."

"Fuck." She muttered, glancing back at the home to make sure everyone was still inside. "We need to know how many and how far away their base is."

"I'll go." Negan drawled, his body in motion before Kayla could stop him.

"It should be me." she insisted, "Me and Beast can go check it out."

"Over my dead dick." Negan scoffed, tugging his arm from her grasp. "I'm not letting my wife go off into the woods to hunt rapists."

"I'm not hunting them and you and I both know, I am way more fucking stealthy than your gangly ass. Besides, Beast will protect me."

"Fuck. No." Negan snapped, pointing into her face. "You get back in the house and make sure the kids are good. Send Jeremiah to me, we need to check the back of the property for anyone sneaking up on our asses."

* * *

Night was falling swiftly, as the group sat waiting for what Negan was sure to come. The other men would return because they were far too calm about leaving. It was obvious that they knew their lost men had come through. He knew that they had either followed their men's tracks to the settlement or stumbled upon their bodies, either way they'd come back.

"Are you sure they didn't just leave?" Jeremiah asked from the other side of the room as he loaded the shotgun they stole from the dead men.

"I'm sure." Kayla spoke as she walked into the room, while unwinding her scarf from her rosy face. Negan stood up swiftly, "Where the fuck were you?"

"I went out to scout." She replied, her eyes far from repentant. "We needed to know for sure."

"I told you not to go." He hissed, towering over her as she continued to stare at him blandly.

"I know."

"Yet you went out there trying to get yourself killed?"

"I went out there to see what we were facing." She barked back, her eyes flaring angrily. "It's good I did too because now I know we got a  _huge_  problem."

"How many?" he growled, the anger from her disobedience and stupidity fell to the waist side as she unveiled the threat.

"Too many. We're going to need some help." She informed, her gaze jumping to the kids before returning to him. "They have a solid ten seasoned men with maybe ten or twelve more back up guys. Two large trucks with possible supplies, I think they're just the scavenge group. They're too clean to be living on the road permanently. It means there'll be more to come if they get word to their base, if they haven't already. We gotta take them all out."

"What kinda help?" Negan finally asked, his uneasy eyes and scowled mouth showing just how unpleased he was with the situation.

"I was thinking that maybe we found a use for all those undead fucks down the road." She replied softly, shifting to look out the window towards the woods. "We aim that herd towards them and it will kill two birds with one stone. The dead will kill them and they will kill off at least some of the dead. The rest can wander away."

"What if they don't kill them all?"

"We will finish what's left."

"And if the dead don't wander away?"

"Then we lead them away." Kayla shrugged, her troubled eyes meeting his. "We don't really have much of an option. I think it's our best shot of taking out enough to allow us to handle the rest."

"How would we do it?"

"Beast and me, we'll go down and lead them to their camp."

"And you'll magically not be eaten alive?"

"We'll wear gore. It's not my favorite but it'll work to keep us hidden from the dead."

* * *

Kayla and Negan stood in the kitchen planning her route to the barn and the next steps of their plan.

They would strike before dawn, the cover of the night hiding Kayla's movements and the dead's approach. They hoped by sun up, the group would be extinguished and the dead would move on with a little help from Kayla and the dog. He wasn't pleased with the idea of splitting from his wife but they were without many choices.

"So you'll just… kill them?" Jeremiah asked, his eyes jumping between the two of them.

Negan gripped Jeremiah's shoulder and rasped, "You know this is the way it is now. Your faith sure as shit ain't saving those kids over there. We will...  _you_ , me and my wife. We are all that stands between those animals out there and those innocent kids. They won't show them mercy or fairness, it will be a fucking nightmare, got me?"

The young man carrying the responsibility of his remaining people settled his jaw and straightened his back. Negan suppressed a sigh of relief, as the other man took the rifle from the tabletop and took position in the front window. All Negan could hope for, was that they might be able to fight them long enough, to make them back off. Maybe then they'd have time to run for their lives without being shot in the back.

* * *

Kayla crouched next to Beast, their bodies hidden from the horde they'd led to the outsiders. She coated herself and Beast in rotter gore, the thick layer of viscera smeared on them from head to toe as camouflage. The goal was to wipe out the scavenge group and eventually lead the dead away, removing both of their problems in one fell swoop.

Meanwhile, Negan would hold the farm with Jeremiah and the others. They weren't losing another home, not after losing so much already.

The deep groans of undead staggering passed caused Beast to rumble lowly, the fur on his back standing on end.

Kayla braced a hand on his neck and whispered, "Shh."

He bumped her chin with his head but settled down, his dark eyes watching the bodies move along the snow bank towards the men she'd seen in the woods. Moments later gunshots shattered the night air and men were shouting out warnings of the horde. Kayla readied her blades, the machete and hatchet fleshly sharpened. She smirked wickedly at the tiny hatchet Negan had made for her, the smooth wood handle fitted perfectly for her petite hand. The blade curved to keep it from becoming stuck in bone, the metal made matte black to prevent light reflection. It was her new favorite toy.

Peering out from behind the bunch of dried saplings, she saw the dead flooding the men's temporary camp. Two were fighting off a group of five biters, while another man struggled with two on his own.

Kayla was deciding if they should join the fray when a shot was fired in her direction. The wiz of buckshot splintering tree bark, had her heart jumping and Beast snarling voraciously. The dog surged out from behind cover and charged the man aiming at them. Kayla hollered out as the canine lunged at the gunman's arm.

She watched in horror as the man fired off another shot, the double barrel now pointed towards Beast's massive body. Her lungs hitched when the round fired off loudly, the dog yelping before he tumbled to the ground.

Kayla screamed as the muscular dog somersaulted along the ground, rage thundering through her veins. She charged with no hesitation, throwing the hatchet at the shocked man, the weapon spinning end-over-end. The solid thunk was followed by a gurgle of blood, the wicked blade splitting the man's chest open.

The enraged woman tackled him to the ground and drove her machete into his gut, eviscerating him brutally. She felt her throat tighten so painfully, she couldn't suck in a breath of air. Tears wet her lashes as she swallowed a sob, her head bowing in grief for Beast.

A sudden weight crashed into her ribs, the body tackling her to the ground and into the snow.

"You cunt." A man snarled, his hands gripping her throat and fisting her hair. He slammed her head into the wet slush, grinding her cheek into the icy mud.

Kayla grappled with him as he tightened his fingers into her throat. She struggled to breathe, while he spat into her face.

"Fucking bitch. Killed my brother. I'll fucking tear you apart. You. Cunt."

Spots bled across her eyes, the man's weight crushing her into the icy earth.

She felt herself slipping under a heavy fog. It would be so easy to close her eyes and give up, her lids as heavy as anchors. Negan's face flashed through her mind, his rough parting words repeating inside her head.

" _You better come back to me, darlin'."_

With a desperation she hadn't felt since the meat locker, Kayla clawed at the man's face. Her nails tore his eyelids and cheeks open, as he screamed in pain. His hands tightened further, the pain she'd inflicted suddenly urging him on. Blood dripped from his rage filled face. The liquid smeared across her neck and chest.

A vicious snarl erupted as a giant black shape struck the man from the side. The pressure released and Kayla sucked in painful gasps, while watching Beast tear the man apart.

The snow was sprayed with bright red blood, the animal shaking and ripping clothing and flesh alike. Kayla panted heavily, as she struggled to her feet, her gaze stuck to the carnage in front of her. A few dead shuffled her way, their gait clumsy on frozen limbs. She picked up her weapons and stumbled towards the incoming threat, her head pounding from the beating she just took.

She stabbed one dead man, before swinging the weapon into the head of another. The machete blade jammed crookedly into the thick skull, killing the biter but becoming impossible to remove at the angle. Kayla tripped as the body fell away, her knees hitting the snow as the last dead body crashed into her.

"Goddamnit." She huffed, her cheek planted back into the wet slush. Pushing the blackened face away from her, Kayla shoved her hunting knife into the base of the corpse's head. It went limp, it's body collapsing on top of her.

Grunting at the weight, a sudden growl startled her. Kayla's hand rose to defend herself when she realized it was Beast's slobbering mouth pulling on her jacket sleeve. After a few sharp tugs, Kayla was free to escape the dead weight pinning her.

"Beast." She gasped, pulling him towards her by the bloodied scruff. "You scared the fuck out of me, asshole."

More sleeve pulling followed his throaty huff, his body yanking her along. Kayla suddenly became aware of the dead interested in the blood-covered snow. She clambered to her feet and followed the dog that had more self-awareness than she had at the moment. Sniffing back the tears she had been so suddenly overwhelmed with, Kayla finally realized the canine had circled them around the outsider's camp to head back to the farm. It was the plan but Kayla had no idea how Beast knew what to do. Patting his muscled shoulder, Kayla sobered up and became more vigilant to their surroundings.

* * *

Negan stood in the boarded up window, his rifle barrel aimed at the shadows crossing the field. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of a pair of flashlights headed their way.

"They're coming." Jeremiah muttered, his nervous eyes jumping to Negan's while keeping his own gun aimed towards the incoming threats.

"Yes they are." Negan growled, before firing his gun off for the first of what would become many times. There was gunfire and screaming coming from across the farm as Kayla lead the dead to them. An eerie orange glow began to grow as fires broke out in the woods. Negan could feel his chest compressing with every moment without Kayla's return.

Gunfire began to hit the front of the farmhouse, chips of plaster and splinters of wood flew passed Negan's face as he ducked. Jeremiah stuck to the edge of the window, his gun poised to fire when they paused to reload.

"The little ones need to go." Negan hollered to Elijah who stood by the staircase. "Get them outta here, Eli."

"Yes, sir." He replied, turning on his heel and vaulting down the stairs to the cellar.

Jeremiah stared at him for a long moment, the gunshots still ricocheting off the stone house.

"Now." Negan growled at him, rising to begin firing again as the sound of undead joined the symphony of war. The pounding started and soon, Negan could feel the situation turn from dire, to outright disastrous. His ears were ringing as round-after-round was fired off at the attacking forces, their weapons soon to be empty.

"We gotta go soon, Jer." Negan rasped, glancing over at the kid as he reloaded his gun. The young man shouldered his rifle as he aimed it out the window, his gaze meeting Negan's right as a gunshot exploded through the wood slates. Jeremiah's young face was torn into pieces by the high velocity slug, blood spraying across the white walls behind him. Negan's breath was stolen, as he watched the kid's body drop to the ground in what seemed like slow motion.

"Fuck." He cursed lowly, his dark eyes jumping to the window before returning to dead body. "Fucking fuck."

Shoving the barrel through the narrow slot, Negan fired off the last five of his rounds before throwing in the towel. He turned to grab their gear when liquid fire exploded against the boarded windows, a Molotov cocktail thrown by the attacking men. Smoke began to fill the room as the curtains caught on fire, the heat intensify almost instantly.

Collecting Jeremiah's rifle, Negan laid his hand on the young man's still chest for a second he didn't have, his eyes falling shut heavily. "I'm sorry, kid."

Jogging down the stairs, Negan found the cellar empty as planned. The children would be almost at the out-building and once he arrived they would travel to the farm down the hill. Kayla would be on his heels shortly after they got there and depending on what followed her, they'd make a plan.

Negan moved along the backside of the home, his body crouched as the light from the fires and the slowly rising sun, exposed his position. He followed the small garden fencing towards the larger field, dodging dried cornstalks and rutted earth.

Screams filled the cold air, shrieks of pain and terror as the dead began to fill the property. Negan watched in horror as the roof of the long-standing farmhouse collapsed under the raging fire. Undead began wandering into the building, their clothes catching on fire and skin melting off.

"Fucking fuck off." Negan grunted, shoving his hunting knife into the face of a rotting corpse stumbling into his path. Tossing the body out of the way, he dropped behind a round bale of hay as a small explosion lit the sky. Whatever the ignition was, shattered the remaining windows of the home. Negan peered back at the property only to find a swarm of biters heading towards the hiding spot. The corpses dressed in Amish black and blue garbs moved like ghastly shadows through the tall grass, headlights backlighting their shapes. A giant truck barreled through the split rail fencing, its giant tires spinning out mud and slush. The vehicle hit the dead and ran over vegetation as it tried to escape the horde. Negan's throat tightened as he realized whoever was behind the wheel was heading straight to the kids hiding spot.

* * *

Two men were crouched ahead of Kayla and Beast, as they tried to return to the others. Both men were firing upon the house, the tinkling of broken glass following the explosive rounds. Using the opportunity as they paused to reload, Kayla slipped up behind one man and slit his throat. Beast lunged at the second, his giant mouth clamping onto his throat with vicious results. The animal had taken down so many threats, his body was covered in both walker and human blood. Kayla was worried about possible injuries below his thick coat but they were without time to do anything about it.

The house was collapsing under the sudden fire tearing through it. All was lost yet again. Kayla swallowed thickly as she and her dog headed for the fields. She was to meet up with the others at the farm down the hill. Once there, they'd regroup and escape if necessary.

Kayla grabbed a few of the men's usable weapons and an extra bag of ammunition. She was running in a crouched position, her body screaming from the beating she undertook in the woods. Her throat felt raw and bruised, the almost life ending grip her attacker had turning her neck purple. She could feel the swelling and bruises blossoming on the tender flesh.

A truck tore passed her, followed by a steady stream of undead. She cursed under her breath as she watched them head towards the meeting point for the children. Following along with the horde, Kayla hoped the others had already escaped the property. Beast was panting next to her, thick bloody drool dripping from his gaping mouth. She pet him on his flank, her worried eyes looking over his vacant stare.

"Stay with me big guy," she murmured, rubbing his head before turning her attention back to the field. Moving as quickly as she could, she watched as the truck ran over a small garden fence and barreled straight to the outbuilding. Kayla tried to get closer but was cut off by a large group of rotters. Killing the ones she could without making the others aware, Kayla witnessed what she never wanted to happen.

Screams erupted in the field as a group of men dragged a few of the girls from the shelter. Kayla could hear children crying as the men took their siblings. Her throat tightened as she struggled to help but was too far to make any difference.

Shots were fired from another spot on the property, Kayla watched as the bullets pinged off the fender of the truck, almost hitting the man loading Beatrice into the cab. Seemingly giving up taking anyone else, the truck peeled out escaping with three of the amish children.

"Fuck." She growled, shoving a body away that became too interested in her. The crowd was getting too thick to move through, causing Kayla to back up and circle around the property. She kept hearing the children screaming and crying across the field, her chest aching when they suddenly became quiet. Tears began to burn at the back of her eyes, a steady painful lump clogging her throat. Negan and her were meant to take care of the children, to keep them safe from the types of monsters that had just invaded.

As the sun rose, unveiling the massive destruction unleashed on the small settlement, Kayla got to see just how poorly they did. Nothing and no one was left unscathed. The dead trampled the gardens and the river rock foundations, laid hundreds of years ago, were crumbling under the cinders of the burning ruins.

A flash of black ran across her peripheral vision, a giant animal fleeing from the flames as they slowly began to engulf other structures on the property. The massive horse trotted across the snowy fields, it black hair singed and matted as he escaped death. Kayla stood in a sea of dead, her eyes watching King gallop away from the horrors that followed them.

The moans around her deadened her emotions, as the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow blinded her. Thick smoke billowed into the air, the cold winter breeze spreading it like a black curse over the area. The settlement had been their home for just over a week and it took only hours for it to collapse under the threats of the world. Not only had the couple lost yet another home, they were now separated by a horde of undead. Kayla had no way of knowing if any of the other children were alive, or even if Negan had made it out of the house unscathed. Her only hope was he'd survived and somehow rounded up the remaining children to safety. Glancing down at the dog at her side, Kayla patted her hand against his thickly matted scruff and murmured, "C'mon, Beastie. Let's go find ''em."


	9. Chapter 9

Negan grunted under the weight in his arms and on his back, as he climbed the steep incline. Holding a toddler in one arm and his bat in the other, Negan shifted the numerous straps of bags wrapping his shoulders. The little girl was tucked inside his thick wool jacket, several layers protecting her from the icy temperatures. Next to him, Elijah carried the other infant in a similar fashion, while holding hands with a girl no older than five. Her blonde ringlets were hanging limp on tear covered cheeks. She had pants on under her long skirt and an oversized wool coat. Negan noticed she was missing a mitten and would need a replacement soon to prevent frostbite.

They'd lost too many kids in the attack, some to the dead and others to the living. Negan grit his teeth against the images of the men taking three of them for god knows fucking what. Who was he kidding? Negan knew exactly what they wanted them for. He had to swallow the acidic bile rising in his throat at the thought of what fate held for Beatrice, Ingrid and Jacob. He would never forgive himself for the loss.

 _Never_.

"What if she doesn't find us?" Elijah asked weakly, his young face pale and eyes drawn.

"She will."

"How do you know?"

"Because my wife is the most stubborn woman I've ever met. She'll find us." He answered, while thinking inwardly, 'You better fucking find us, sweetheart.'

The troupe kept moving through the long stretch of dense trees, hiding from the roamers and possible living. They hadn't seen any more of the men and the undead had become sparse. Negan felt that they'd finally escaped both threats by leaving the meeting point. It didn't make it any easier though; leaving the place Kayla was supposed to meet them. However, it was necessary when the home became surrounded in under an hour. He had to make the tough decision to run, while they still had a chance.

"Where do you think they took them?" the kid asked, after a few minutes of hiking in silence. Negan clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing at the mention of the kidnapping. He pictured Beatrice's frantic eyes as she looked back to see him scooping up a kid, while bashing in the head of a biter.

"I'm not sure." Negan rasped, his voice hoarse from the brutally sharp emotion the memory incited.

"Are they… are they going to hurt them?"

The boy was innocent to the way the world worked, but as Negan glanced down at him, he could see the kid knew the answer to the question already. Elijah may not know the ways in which people hurt each other, but he wasn't stupid.

"I hope not." Negan rasped, his tone softening.

"Yeah… me too." He muttered, with eyes dropping to the forest floor as they walked slowly towards what looked to be a run down motel. The kid's shaggy dark hair reminded him of Carl, the adolescent turning teenager just as gangly. Negan wondered if Kayla had noticed the similarities. The thought tightened his throat even further because it brought up the frightening idea of never being able to ask her.

"Let's settle in for the night, wait for Kay to find us. How's that sound?" Negan murmured, shoving the possibility away from his mind and into the shit stained earth where it belonged. Kayla would find them and she would be fucking fine.

"Sounds good."

* * *

Kayla crouched down next to the rusted out Toyota corolla and watched the men move around the old hunting lodge. She'd followed the car tracks when she came across them in her search for Negan. She hadn't planned on searching for the men who'd taken the children, not without back up. However, when the tire prints crossed her path, she couldn't help but follow. She kept picturing the girl's faces as they were dragged away. Her back throbbed with phantom nerve pain at the thought of her own incarceration. She couldn't walk passed an opportunity to save them from the same horrors.

Beast panted next to her, his dark eyes flicking from her face, to the hunting lodge that was the men's compound. The two story wood shingled building was nestled into the base of a mountain. The group had cleared the first hundred or more yards of sight line and thinned quite a bit of other forest to give them a huge advantage. It would be near impossible to get close without being spotted. She counted two guards patrolling the edges of the clearing, while another set stood on the large porch stretching the length of the building. All carried rifles or hand guns and most seemed confident in their ability to use them. She needed Negan if they were going to get their people back.

"Yeah, I know, we gotta save them." She murmured, her hand patting his flank. "We need to find Negan first though."

Beast huffed out a breath as if understanding her, his nose bumping her chin in support of the idea. Kayla looked him over, searching for any injuries, but with the amount of gore he was wearing it was near impossible. She took comfort in the fact that he wasn't slowing down or limping, the sight hopefully meaning if he were injured, it was superficial. Tucking her scarf around her mouth, Kayla tried to keep warm in the low temperatures. Her breath was contained under the cloth, heating her face and containing the sound from prying ears. Subtle shivers were running through her body the longer they stayed still, they needed to move.

Pulling back from her hiding spot, Kayla headed back into the woods to hopefully find a lead on Negan's whereabouts. She wasn't going to give up, even if it took her forever to find him. Nothing would stop her or Beast from locating the man.

* * *

Negan got the kids settled into one of the cleared rooms as he searched the property for threats. After barricading them inside, he tore through the other rooms and manager's office for supplies. His mind was racing about all that he needed to take care of, while waiting for Kayla. He wouldn't allow himself to even contemplate his wife not finding them. It was going to happen. Kayla would walk out of the woods after tracking them and they'd find a way to take care of four kids, while out on the road.

"Easy fucking peasy." Negan muttered under his breath, raking hair from his sweaty forehead. "No big deal, just four mouths to feed and four fuckin' helpless bodies to protect."

Huffing out a breath, Negan closed his eyes tightly for a moment and tried to swallow the total panic slowly filling him. He had no idea how to take care of children and now he was in charge of group including toddlers.

"Buck the fuck up, pussy." He growled, at himself in the dusty mirror, his shadowed eyes glaring back. "Do what you gotta do and stop fucking crying about it."

Negan returned to the room with a large assortment of snacks and tiny cans of soda. There wasn't much in the way of food, but he'd found an abandoned bag of infant supplies. He didn't pay any attention to the blood splattered on it or the bodies underneath the sheets in the room where he found it. Happy with the discovery, Negan slid inside the room after Elijah removed the barricade.

"I got the little ones down." The kid offered, his chin tipping to the two toddlers cuddle up together in bed under a pile of blankets. Negan could see the other little girl curled up in the bathtub, a towel wrapped around her shoulders.

"What's goin' on with that?" he murmured, his eyes flicking back to Elijah.

"Anna had an accident and we don't have any other clothes for her." He replied, scratching his elbow nervously. "I uh… I don't know how to wash her."

Negan swallowed thickly at the idea of cleaning up a little kid, but shoved it away. Sauntering into the bathroom, he crouched in front of the bathtub and used his softest voice. "Hey there, sweetheart."

The girl peered up at him with wide teary eyes and cried, "I want Bea!"

"I know, honey. I do too." He rasped, his hand cupping her head as she wept into her clenched hands. "How about I help you clean up, yeah?"

Shaking her head, she tried to duck under the dusty towel. Negan dipped his face to meet her eyes, "Come on, sweetheart. We'll get you washed up and I'm sure we got something we can put you in, while I wash your clothes. How's that sound?"

The girl finally gave in to Negan's suggestions, allowing him to remove her soiled clothing and wash her with the thin motel towels.

If anyone would've told him months ago that he would eventually be the nanny to a gaggle of children, he would've laugh in their face, before busting them over the head with Lucille. Yet there he was, washing up a little girl with the water from the toilet tank.

"There we go." He rasped, pulling one of Kayla's shirts over the little girls head. The material was too long, but she was finally clean and dry. "How's that?"

"Okay." She muttered, her chin wobbling some but her eyes dry.

"Good girl." He replied, patting her head. "Now, how 'bout something to eat and then you can lay down with the kiddos?"

Negan quickly fed Anna and got the girl in bed under the heap of linens, while Elijah kept an eye out on the woods. He had to enlist the help of the barely fourteen year old to keep watch. If they were going to survive, Elijah would need to have a crash course in the real world.

"You should get some sleep too." Negan offered the kid after finishing up with his own meal. "Take it while we can."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay." The teen muttered, moving from the window to the bed Anna was curled up in. Lying down with the little girl, Elijah was still for a moment before he spoke.

"What happened to Jeremiah?"

Negan's eyes fell closed as he pictured the bullet tearing through the young man's face during the stand off. He hadn't experienced such a visceral pain since losing Kayla during the Skinwalker war. They hadn't known each other long, but Jeremiah had struck a chord in Negan. He saw something in the young man, something he hadn't been expecting to be extinguished so quickly. It would haunt him.

"He was shot. It… it was quick."

The room was quiet except for the quiet sniffle from the teen, the darkness hiding his tears from Negan. Chewing his cheek, Negan rasped, "I'm sorry kid."

"Why did those people do that?" He voice cracked.

"I don't know." Negan mumbled, shaking his head as he peered out the window again, looking for any sign of life.

It was a lie.

Negan knew why people did such terrible things. He use to be one of those selfish fucks stealing and maiming. It was all about control and narcissistic, selfish needs. The desire to take and take and take, while crushing anyone who tried to fight back. There was humanitarian start to the order he created, but he'd lost his way somewhere in the shadows that plagued the earth. Negan had drowned in the horror of it, gobbled up all the terror and pain he inflicted on others. Twisted his newly obtained power into some kind of sick circle jerk with himself. All while claiming it was for the greater good.

Blind. So fucking blind to other possibilities.

He was once a monster and there was a dark voice growling louder inside him that blamed his past transgressions for their current pain filled losses. Karma was a bitch and Negan had fucked that bitch over on more than one occasion. It was her turn now.

Negan pressed his temple against the cold glass, his hooded eyes sliding over the slowly darkened woods. Shadows began to grow and the temperature dropped. Despite being indoors he could see his breath, the white cloud fogging up the icy surface.

He was blinking passed the heavy exhaustion as the others slept piled together for warmth. Soft snores had his lip twitching even with the graveness of the situation.

Negan needed Kayla. Without her, he wasn't too sure he could keep the little ones alive in the dead of winter. Food was harder to find and even though they were surrounded by snow, fresh water was still difficult to acquire. It involved fire to melt and boil the snow, something that wasn't the best idea when hiding from the living and the dead. Eating snow as a substitute wasn't really recommended, not only because of the possibility of it being tainted but the drop in body temperature it could cause. Hypothermia was a constant battle when travelling during the winter and adding in the fact that they were kids didn't help anything.

Negan would need to find a place for them to stay for the rest of the cold months, something close to a food source and secure enough to allow small campfires. He was just trying to come up with a grand plan when shifting shadows in the woods caught his eyes.

* * *

When the sun began to set, Kayla could tell she was ill prepared for the drastic temperature change. She was dressed well, more so than when they were on the road earlier in the month, but the weather was turning. The smell of snow was in the air and the brittle cold was stinging her lungs with every inhale.

Her fingertips had long gone numb. Especially after she used some water to clean the dog's injuries during one of their rest stops. She'd noticed a chunk missing from Beast's already cropped ears and round pockmarks surrounding his face. He'd been hit with at least part of the shotgun shell, the round buckshot mangling part of his ear and peppering his skin with burns. She'd cried silently, as he whined at her poor attempts to clean the wounds.

Now her hands felt numb, the skin around her nails turning a unsettling blue. Kayla was worried about nerve damage and tissue loss, so she buried them inside her unzipped coat, under her arms. It only lasted a few yards before the wind forced her to zip back up. She needed shelter and a fire or she might just freeze to death.

* * *

Beast took control of their path in the early evening, his nose to the ground as he sniffed a set of footprints leading down a dirt road. She kept her eyes trained on the ground but also flitting around them in search of movement. The dog grumbled at something he found, his rough bark and quickened pace making Kayla aware of a change in their situation. Darting away, Beast took off running down the lane without her. Kayla followed but kept her steps cautious. She trusted Beast to keep her from running head on into trouble but not enough to run blindly through the woods.

At the end of the drive was a rundown motel, the faded green shutters hanging crookedly. A 'closed' sign was taped in the motel office window, bloody hands prints smeared across the glass. Kayla followed Beast as he circled the property, before heading straight for the room on the end. She noticed it had the best view of the road and woods, her chest tightening with the hope that Negan's likeminded thinking meant he was behind the door.

Before they even reached it, she heard the shuffling of sounds behind it. Beast barked lowly, his nose bumping against the doorknob as though demanding entrance. Suddenly the wood barrier was whipped open and she stared wide-eyed up at Negan. She felt her tears burning to escape as she swallowed a sob and lurched forward into his arms.

"Fuck, doll." Negan rasped into her ear, as he wrapped her up in a bear hug and lifted her off the ground. "Goddamn am I happy to see you."

Kayla clutched onto him desperately, her throat too tight to even try to speak. She ground her face into his neck and cried until Beast nipped at her hip. Negan pulled her inside the room and closed it up, while she removed her pack and scarf. She turned just as he finished barricading the door, her eyes meeting his equally bloodshot gaze.

"You okay?" he croaked, his gaze flicking over her entire body before focusing on the bruises decorating her face and throat. "They touch you?"

"Just a few bruises." Kayla replied, her hand touching his face. "Are you okay?"

Negan's eyes closed tightly as she stroked his scruffy cheek, his words coming out quiet and hoarse. "I couldn't stop them."

"I couldn't either." She spoke softly, her eyes flicking to the bed. "But I know where they are."

Before Negan could ask, a small voice came from the pile of blankets on the bed.

"Ms. Kayla?"

"Yeah, I'm here." She replied, squinting to make out the face in the dim light.

"You found us." Elijah murmured, his lips curling up. "He said you would."

"Yeah, well I don't really give up."

"I told you, kid, most stubborn woman I know."

* * *

Negan tucked Kayla against his side, his chest loosening as her heat began to sink into his skin. Elijah was on watch, while they rested some before sunrise. Negan was too high on their recent reunion to sleep. Kayla cried at the loss of the other children but was thankful the littlest were saved. She cuddled with Anna when she woke to Beast's licks, the girl crying into her chest.

Pressing his lips into Kayla's temple, he closed his eyes to picture her standing on the doorstep again. He'd seen movement and it wasn't until the familiar black shape appeared that Negan realized who was prowling outside. He'd barely kept himself from busting through the cheap wood to get to her faster.

Kayla had fresh bruises, fingerprints of another man's violence splashed across her exhausted face. He wanted to find the rotting corpse that he knew Kayla left behind and beat the unliving fuck out of it.

No one put their hands on his wife and survived. In pieces or not. He would be ashes if Negan had his way.

"They have them in a hunting lodge." Kayla rasped, her head tilting up to see him in the darkened room. "I'm not sure on numbers but I think there's about a dozen or so left."

"Shit." Negan cursed, his hand gently combing through her hair in thought. "Any heavy artillery?"

"Guards had bolt rifles. A few AR's, Glocks." She replied, her fingers drumming on his chest. "Both of us will need to go."

"We can't leave the kids." Negan replied instantly, pulling back enough to look at her resolute face. "He's not ready to defend a group of kids by himself."

"We need to get them. You know what they're probably doin' to them right now."

Huffing out an irritated breath, Negan contemplated what they could do to help the ones taken from them. He was not the type to leave anyone behind but they were already laden with precious cargo. They had a lot on the line.

"I can do it." Elijah offered, standing up from his spot by the window. "We can stay here. I will keep them safe. I can do it."

Kayla peered up at Negan as he let the statement sink in. His eyes trailed over the slight black eye she had and the deep purple finger prints wrapping her throat. He swallowed thickly as he noticed just how close he came to losing her. It filled his stomach with cement. They couldn't risk it again.

She shifted to a seated position against the headboard and asked, "Can you shoot?"

"Kay." Negan muttered, shaking his head. "We can't leave them."

"We can't leave the others, Negan." She growled, shaking her head at the mere thought of it. "I can't. Not after everything they did for us. Not when I know what they'll do to them."

"You don't know for sure." Negan tried to deny it, deny what he knew was happening to those kids but couldn't meet Kayla's eye. They both knew that the taken were in real danger, the type that could break even the strongest of survivors.

"Negan." She murmured, the softness in her tone pulling his eyes to her saddened expression. "You know what is going to happen to them, if it hasn't already. We've got to go back. We can't give up."

"We could get killed, Kay. What happens then?" he snapped, rising from the bed to pace. "If we don't come back?"

"Not coming back isn't an option." She answered easily, her eyes moving to Elijah and the other children. "We leave Beast to help protect them. He'll keep them safe until we return."

Negan growled deep and low in frustration, while stopping his circuits around the tiny room. He raked a hand through his hair and glared at the two sets of eyes watching him.

"We have to do this right, we can't fuck this up." He spoke firmly, but his face weary. There hadn't been a moment in the last few years that had been peaceful. It was one war after another and Negan wasn't sure how much longer he could stand it. All he wanted was to find a place to keep his wife safe. Negan never thought he'd miss the shitty suburbs again but he ached for the goddamn simplicity of it now.

"We won't."

"Are you ready to shoot to kill?" He asked Elijah. "Can you look a man in the eyes and shoot him?"

Elijah swallowed thickly, his wide eyes jumping from Negan to the kids sleeping in the other bed.

"Keeping them safe means you'll have to kill. Can you do it?" Negan pressed, his eyes looking him over critically. Elijah nodded slowly, "Y-yes… yes I can do it."

"You sure because you can't hesitate, you can't think about it."

"Yes. I can.. I will, to keep them safe. I will do anything." Elijah spoke faster, standing from his spot at the window. "I won't let you down."

Negan gripped his shoulder much as he'd done to Jeremiah's, the memory causing a lump to form in his throat. He closed his eyes a moment, before he peered down at the young teen and replied, "I know you won't."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Christmas miracle! I've actually updated There Is No Light! I know it's been too damn long. I apologize! I'm hoping my muse for Negan and Kayla returns. I know where this fic is going, it's just getting there that has been difficult.
> 
> I dont own TWD. Kayla and non canon characters are mine.
> 
> ENJOY

Kayla glanced at Negan as they crouched inside the tree-line to watch the hunting lodge shut down for the evening. They left the motel at dawn, the kids barricaded inside with Beast as sentinel. It was a difficult decision that they both didn't like making, but they couldn't let Beatrice, Ingrid and Jacob go. Not when they could make a difference.

"Take out the back guards, we can go through the kitchen." Negan rasped, his gloved finger pointing out the different windows visible from the trees. "My bet is they're in those rooms with the windows boarded up."

Kayla looked over the back of the building and saw that the last row of windows on the second story were secure, while every other one was merely covered from the inside. Whatever or whomever was in the room, was worth keeping secured from either intrusion or escape.

"Clear the bottom floor, before moving up?" she offered, her gaze moving to her husband. "Or do you think we should split up?"

"You're not leaving my side. You've already almost been killed once this week. Let's not try our luck."

Nodding, Kayla adjusted her weapons belt and pulled out her little hatchet. "We need to do this quiet."

"Knives unless there's no other choice." Negan agreed, tipping his chin to the men standing on the porch smoking. "You take the skinny one, I got the fat fuck."

They slid along the shadows, circling the large wrap around porch to the men smoking and chatting on the steps. Kayla had her weapon poised and ready, her eyes flicking to the shadow Negan stood in. She could see the slight gleam off his hunting knife before it buried itself through the giant guard's neck. Without wasting time, Kayla's hatchet was cracking the other man's head in two without so much as a peep from him. A wet gurgle escaped Negan's victim, before he was lowered to the ground by his tight grip. They both stowed the bodies below the porch, shoving them out of sight. Kayla confiscated a small hunting knife, while Negan swiped two handguns from their belts.

"We'll get the rifles on the way out if we can." He murmured, laying them to the side.

The couple moved up the stairs swiftly, both on edge as they slowly made their way into the lodge. Once inside they found a large kitchen, the counter tops laden with food stores and bottles of water. Kayla's eyes flicked to Negan's as they took in the amount of supplies the group had. They both seemed to silently agree that if possible, they would take what they could when they left.

The couple crept through the lodge, the walls laden with the heads of taxidermy animals watching them as they moved.

Kayla crouched next to a large stuffed bear as a pair of men wandered down a hallway and entered a room. She peered across the shadowed doorway to see Negan motioning for her to follow him.

The pair stepped carefully along within the shadows, peeking in open doorways for signs of life. They were coming to the end of the hall when they heard voices behind them in the darkness. Kayla could just make out a flashlight headed their way.

"We take them to the beaner. We'll get twice as much ammo than at Pikes shithole."

"Rico is an asshole. He won't pay for damaged merch."

"Yeah well, stop fuckin' damagin' the merch then, dipshit."

"Come on. What the fuck is the point of snatching pussy if I don't get to try it out?"

The men's gruff laughter had Kayla's hands tightening into fists. She wanted to gut them from their nuts to their filthy mouths. Negan seemed to be seething as much as she was, his low growl rumbling lowly in the dark hallway.

"Alright, alright. Just don't kill this one."

"Oh, I'll be gentle." The man's voice was cloyingly sweet but the laughter menacing.

Negan and Kayla ducked into one of the empty rooms and waited for the man to come inside. The doorknob turned and a blonde man dressed in brown cargo pants and a camo t-shirt stepped into the hallway. Kayla stayed poised, as Negan made his move. Yanking the offensive man into the room, his yelp was muffled by a giant fist in his face. Both of them subdued him with sharp blades and heavy hits.

Kayla was breathing hard by the time the man stopped struggling. She met Negan's eyes and motioned to the room with the other individual.

"Take him out, search the rest before we go up?" she asked, wiping her hatchet blade on the dead man's chest.

"Yeah. Let's kill these sick fucks."

 

* * *

 

They'd cleared the ground floor of men and mounted the steps quickly. They decided to clear the right hallway first leading them away from the secured rooms. Negan did not want to get cornered in the part of the building with no exits. He ground his teeth as they walked away from the sounds of someone crying. It went against every fiber of his being to turn his back to it.

"We need to be quick." He growled, his hand wrapping the door handle of the first room. There was no light coming from underneath but they had no way of knowing what was behind the door.

"On three." She murmured back, counting down silently.

Slowly opening it, Negan found a dorm room with two sleeping individuals. He gestured for her to take the man on the right while he crept to the left. It had him thinking of the outpost Rick's people had taken, killing men in their sleep like cattle. He sneered at the thought just before jamming his K-bar through the back of some poor fuck's head.

Kayla's victim struggled, the man turning over just as she tried to strike. He yelped out as she leapt on him, her knife missing the target and landing in his pillow. Negan tried to quiet him but his arm struck the wall loudly in the fight.

The sounds of someone entering the hallway were loud enough to bring Negan's attention from the man to the door. By the time the knob started turning, Kayla's blade had buried its way through the struggling man's neck and severed his carotid artery. Blood sprayed across the bed and wall, painting Kayla a vivid red.

Negan strode to the door, yanking the next man inside only to find two more following him.

All hell broke loose as both Kayla and Negan fought to keep their invasion under control. He slammed his K-bar through a man's temple only to get hit between the shoulder blades by a rifle butt. He turned to take the aggressor on when he watched Kayla's hatchet split the man's skull in two like butter.

They stood panting over the body's for a moment before moving towards the door. He could hear others waking up, the clomp of boots on wood floors and the squeak of doors opening.

"This is getting sticky." Negan murmured to his wife, who looked as though she'd showered in blood that morning.

"We need to finish this." She growled, her eyes dark and menacing. "You heard that fucker."

"I know, it's just I prefer to not get you killed doing it." Negan replied, peeking out the door to see how many men were possibly headed their way.

"I don't see anyone yet."

"Probably arming themselves to the teeth." She replied dryly. "Come on."

"Fuck." Negan cursed under his breath before exiting the room into the darkened hallway. They slunk towards the sound of others, the clatter of magazines going into guns.

"We need to get the kids and run." He offered as they got to the split in the building that would lead them further away from the secured rooms.

"We'll get trapped there." She murmured.

"I'll wait at the end of the hall." Negan spoke quietly. "We don't have the fire power that these fucks sound like they have."

"Fine." She whispered, following him towards the wing of the building that contained the rooms with secured windows.

 

* * *

 

Kayla left Negan at the end of the long corridor to watch for threats as she snuck towards the rooms with barricade windows. She hoped they could keep from being trapped but worried that opting to stop their killing spree would be their downfall. She wanted to murder every man on the property to keep them from doing what they did to the farm. She kept picturing the children she witnessed shot down or eaten, the poor kids unprepared for the world beyond their safe haven. Deep seated guilt plagued her. She felt that they led the group of men straight to the Amish farmstead, their foot prints giving them the path to follow to opportunity. She wanted to rectify the tragedy they may have caused by saving the few that were taken.

Turning the doorknob slowly, she found a bedroom with a small mattress on the ground. Lying in the center of the bed was a body covered by a sheet, blood coating the top of the cotton. Kayla slunk inside the room and pulled the sheet back to find Beatrice, her forehead obliterated by a gunshot wound. Her head lay in a strange angle, her neck bruised and broken.

"Fuck." She ground out through clenched teeth, as she looked at the the fifteen year old girl who'd been so kind. "I'm so sorry, Bea."

Covering the girl's face back up, Kayla exited the room and head towards the next door. She peered down the hallway towards Negan to find him giving her a nod of encouragement. They were not found yet, but she wasn't going to take her time.

Upon opening the second door, Kayla found herself close to losing it. Ingrid was huddled in a corner, her clothing torn and eyes bloodshot. When the girl saw Kayla, she lurched forward and began sobbing.

"Shh." Kayla hushed, trying to comfort the girl while keeping her quiet. She pet her head and hugged her tightly. "You gotta be quiet.

"Please. I wanna go. Where's Beatrice and Jacob?"

"Sh. I need you to follow me. Be quiet."

"But-." Ingrid was cut off when the door opened and a man entered. Kayla attacked him instantly, but he got the upper hand by slamming her into a wall. She lost the grip of her hatchet, the weapon falling to the ground as she struggled to keep him from stabbing her.

Kayla fought for control over the knife he poised above her chest. He sneered down at her, a deep growl rumbling from his throat. She brought her knee up several times trying to hit him between the legs but his larger frame dodged her attempts.

"Fuck you." He growled, his hands twisting the blade to aim towards her face. She snarled in frustration as the weapon inched closer.

The tip had just dug into the sensitive skin below her jaw when the man collapsed to his knees. Kayla was panting heavily, yanking the blade from his slack hands, while watching Ingrid shake in front of her. The girl's hand clenched the blood covered hatchet as her entire body trembling.

Kayla stared a moment before rasping, "Get dressed. We're getting you out of here."

The girl stood there dumbly until Kayla motioned to the pile of clothing that had been removed from her.

"Hurry. We don't have a lot of time."

Negan joined them a moment later, his face splattered with blood and a new cut gushing blood at his hairline.

"You okay? He came from the other direction. I tried to get here before he got inside."

"Peachy." She said dryly.

"This hallway's clear but not for long, I saw some more men coming from the other corridor." He murmured, his face hardening as he watched Ingrid shakily pulling clothing on. "Was she?"

"Yeah." Kayla answered, her eyes dropping to the dead man before shoving her blade into his skull for good measure.

"Bea?"

Kayla shook her head once, her eyes steely as Negan's burned with outrage.

He nodded to Ingrid as she stood trembling nearby. "You stick with me, hun. No one's touching you again, alright?."

Ingrid nodded, her eyes dropping to the man bleeding all over the floor. Kayla touched her shoulder, "You ready?"

"Let's get the hell outta here." Negan drawled once Ingrid joined them at the door.

The trio moved through the long dark hallway leading to the back staircase. Ingrid informed them that the last time she saw Jacob was when they were held in the cellar. The trio fled down the stairs and towards the back of the property, Kayla killing off any survivors they found. As they reached the back of the building, Negan motioned for her to stay as he entered the cellar.

"Keep look out. I'll head down and see if he's down there."

"But-."

"Stay with her." He growled, his dark eyes looking over Kayla's bloodied state. "I got this."

 

* * *

 

Negan crouched next to the doorway leading into the basement. He could hear voices but couldn't make out what they were saying.

Glancing back at Kayla and Ingrid, he motioned for them to stay, while he entered. Kayla looked as though she wanted to argue but stayed just the same.

Negan took the steps carefully, placing his weight on the edge closest to the wall to keep them from creaking. Using a flashlight, Negan moved as swiftly adn quietly as possible down the staircase.

At the base of the stairs he found a short hallway lined with doors. Inside the first he found storage of some kind, the walls covered with boxes and plastic bins. In the second room he found a wall of metal dog crates. Most were empty but three were occupied. Inside were the cowering shapes of two women and Jacob. The boy flung himself towards the front of the cage but didn't speak as Negan held his finger up in front of his lips.

He moved forward and whispered, "Stay quiet. I'll get you out of here."

"Who are you?" One of the women croaked, her eyes bruised and lips split. The sight had Negan's blood boiling. "Someone who's going to killing every rapist prick here."

"Where's Bea and Ingrid?" Jacob croaked, his blue eyes wide and fearful.

"Upstairs. Come on." Negan replied, busting the locks on the cages with a screwdriver. They women struggled to their feet but followed closely as they climbed the stairs. Negan met Kayla's hard eyes as she took in the new arrivals.

"They need shoes." She remarked after a short silence. "The bodies in the back will work."

"Okay ladies, follow us and we'll get you some kicks." Negan drawled, motioning to the back door. "Stay close kids."

The loud crack of gunfire had him tugging Kayla away from a doorway as plaster shattered near her head. She growled aggressively at the sound and pulled her own weapon out. Negan was almost hard at the sight of his wife shooting the pricks with brutal precision.

"Assholes." Kayla grunted as the silence followed. "Think were clear. Let's get the fuck out of here."

"Good girl." Negan murmured, as she passed by him to scope the backyard out. "Take us home, sweetheart."

 

* * *

 

Kayla helped Ingrid clean up inside the hotel bathroom, the thin girl was covered in bruises and scrapes. The older woman ground her teeth as she stitched her eyebrow together.

"Are you in pain?" Kayla asked, her eyes dropping to the girl's lap meaningfully.

"He…" Ingrid started but covered her mouth and shook her head as though trying to rid herself of the memory. Kayla squeezed her shoulder and dipped her head to catch her teary eyes.

"He's never going to hurt you again." She assured her.

"I'm a murderer." Ingrid croaked, her tears overflowing onto bruised cheeks. "I'm damned to hell, Miss Kayla."

"No." Kayla rasped, shaking her head sadly. "You're not damned."

"He… wouldn't stop. I begged. I told him I hadn't… and.." Ingrid sobbed, her hands cupping her mouth to stop the loud sound. Kayla pulled the girl into her arms and held her as she cried.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." Kayla spoke into damp hair. "It shouldn't have happened but the world… it's dangerous out here. We'll keep you safe. I promise we'll find some place safe."

Ingrid fell asleep resting against Kayla's chest, her head heavy on her shoulder. A soft knock was followed by Negan peeking his head inside with a frown.

"It got too quiet. I got worried." He murmured, "Want me to carry her to bed?"

"Yeah. Just… just be careful. Don't wake her, she'll freak."

Negan's jaw tightened as he nodded in agreement, his strong arms sliding the girl from the floor and carrying her to bed. Kayla joined him, watching as he covered her gently and kissed her forehead.

"Is she okay?" He asked as they settled next to the window.

"As good as could be expected after that shit show." Kayla muttered, her arms wrapping her middle tightly.

"Are you okay?" Negan murmured, pulling her in between his legs by her hips.

"No." She replied, shaking her head at the sudden choking emotions bubbling up in her chest. Negan's long arms wrapped her shoulders and waist.

"I got you." He rasped, his face nuzzling her neck and shoulder as she cried into his chest. "Let it out, sweetheart. I've got you."

"How will we do this?" She asked after a few long minutes of breaking down. "6 kids and two women who look like they've been starved half to death?"

"We need to find a vehicle." Negan spoke softly as the sound of a few blankets rustled with unrest. "A van or RV. We need to get the fuck out of the state."

"Finding something like that and gas to run it is going to be impossible." Kayla huffed, grinding her forehead into his collarbone. "There's just no way."

"Darlin' after everything we've been through, finding something with four wheels is far from impossible."

"Negan." She sighed, pulling back to peer up at him. His face was covered with a thick beard filled with more gray than the year prior. The crinkles around his eyes had deepened with the stress and strain of living on the road. They both needed to settle somewhere, they needed the security to truly rest.

"We can do this." Negan insisted. "We have to. What other fucking choice do we got?"

Kayla sighed deeply, her body settling against his chest heavily. She wound her arms around Negan's broad shoulders and tucked her face into his neck.

"You and me, doll." Negan's voice was hot against her temple, the baritone comforting against her ribs. "We always figure our shit out."

 

* * *

 

The women they'd rescued were held by the men for a few weeks before Negan and Kayla showed up. They were taken after the poachers came through and killed most of their group. Negan couldn't stomach the thought of what they'd been through. The redhead was pretty much comatose, her face a blank slate and her rocking motion the only sign that she was alive. Kayla tried to get her to eat but was unsuccessful. The blonde was in her twenties but her gaunt face looked almost double her age. Her name was Kelly and she explained that the redhead, Teresa, had lost her husband and son when the men attacked. Negan couldn't blame her for being a wreck.

"She say anything yet?" Negan asked Kayla as she returned from the room the women were staying in.

"Nope." Kayla responded, her mouth downturned and brow furrowed. "I'm worried she's not going to come out of it."

"What can we do?" Negan rasped, leaning forward to help her remove her boots.

"Not much. Keep trying, I guess." Kayla muttered, her hands resting on Negan's broad shoulders as he worked.

"What about Kelly? Does she listen to her?"

"Not really." Kayla sighed, raking her hair back into a ponytail. "Besides, Kelly isn't exactly right in the head either."

"What do you mean?" Negan asked, his brow furrowing as his wife sat next to him on the bed.

"I heard her speaking to someone and when I went into the room, she was by herself." Kayla explained, setting her blade and handgun on the nightstand. "I don't think she dangerous but..."

"But?"

"But we should keep an eye on her just in case." Kayla finished, rolling her shoulders and neck to loosen the tension built up over the weeks of constant stress.

"Alright." Negan drawled, stretching out on the bed next to her. "Tomorrow I'll go alone to find a van. You stay here to watch them."

"No." Kayla disagreed instantly. "We haven't gotten enough distance between us and those sick fuckers. Whoever's left could be looking and I won't have you out there alone."

"All the more reason for you to stay and protect them. Just in case."

"Negan." She sighed, sitting up to rub her face in frustration.

"What?"

"I can't let you go alone." Kayla murmured, her chocolate eyes filled with worry.

"I'll be okay. It'll be a fast run to that dealership we saw. I'll get us a ride and be back by nightfall. We can get outta state by afternoon."

Kayla chewed her lip anxiously as he stroked her back. "You sure?"

"Very, sweetheart." He smiled teasingly. "You know I can handle myself."

"What happens if you run into them?"

"I'll kill every last one and then get the ride we need. Fuck those bastards." Negan growled, pulling her into his side. He wrapped his long arms around her and nuzzled his face into her dark hair. Slowly pulling in a deep lungful of his wife's scent, Negan released the breath slowly. "Day after tomorrow we'll be somewhere new, maybe even somewhere permanent."

Kayla placed a long kiss on his chest before cuddling in closer for warmth. "Love you."

"Love you, darlin'."

 

* * *

 

Negan left at dawn to find the group a vehicle, the man leaving her breathless from a mouth bruising kiss. She'd clutched his jacket with bleach white knuckles, her eyes drilling into him with something close to desperation.

"You come back to me." She demanded, her jaw set tightly.

"Yes, dear." Negan rasped, flashing her a wolfishly smile.

"Take B." Kayla added, snapping her fingers to bring the dog's attention to her. Negan cupped her elbow and squeezed it affectionately. "Keep him here with you."

"I'm in a defensible structure. You'll need him more out there." She reasoned. "Beast go."

"Kay."

"Please, just give me this peace of mind."

Negan leaned forward and kissed her once more, his hand cupping her jaw and neck. "Alright, darlin. Anything for you."

"Good boy." She quipped, smacking his ass playfully, "Now go find us some wheels."

"Yes, ma'am." He winked, clicking his tongue at the dog. "Let's go find mama something nice."

 

* * *

 

Hours later, Kayla sat with Anna and Ingrid as they watched the smallest of the children. The toddlers were both fair haired and pale skinned, their bright eyes devoid of the troubles shining in the eyes of the others. Ingrid wasn't speaking more than a few words, mostly only given to the other children. She wasn't sure how to help the girl heal from what she'd experienced. She had her own traumatic history but relating to a girl who was barely out of adolescence wasn't in Kayla's wheelhouse.

Anna was clinging to Kayla's side at all times, her little feet shuffling after her as she kept watch in the rundown hotel. Kayla wasn't used to the constant contact and felt herself becoming edgy, which she inevitably felt guilty about. The little girl had lost just about all her family and stability, of course she would go to the closest parental figure for comfort. That knowledge didn't make it any easier to become accustomed to though.

"When will he get back?" Anna asked for the seventh time since dawn.

"When he finds a car that fits all of us." Kayla replied, rubbing her temple as a stress headache began to emerge behind her eye sockets.

"How long is that?"

"Just depends." She muttered, squinting out the peep hole to check the front of the hotel parking lot. Seeing nothing new, Kayla stepped around the little girl and moved to her next scouting position. The girl followed her to the window and leaned against the wall next to her as she looked through the tiny slit she'd installed in the curtain panel.

"On what?"

Kayla ground her teeth and replied, "On what he finds. How about you go lie down for a bit?"

"I'm not tired."

"Anna." Kelly's hoarse voice called from the bedroom, "Come lay down with me, angel."

Kayla threw the woman a grateful look and ruffled the girl's hair, "Go on. I'll let you know when Negan gets back. Okay?"

Anna pouted but did as she was told, following the thin blonde into the bedroom. Kayla watched as they laid down together before returning her eyes to the front window. She took in a slow calming breath and released it, shaking off the nerves to focus on watching the perimeter.

As she watched, Kayla let her mind rattle through all the things they needed to do or locate. Her husband was finding the vehicle and hopefully gas but they would need food and clothing as well. Finding shelter preferably a full state away from their current area was next. Negan wanted to hit Ohio by afternoon and head southwest in hopes of warmer temperatures. Kayla was all for it, the cold and snow were miserable for even the hardiest of survivors. It was downright deadly to the children and the sickly women.

A reflection caught Kayla's attention as a large suburban rolled into the parking lot slowly. Her lips quirked as she caught Beast's head poking out the back window, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Kayla watched Negan stow the vehicle behind the hotel out of sight and then climb the stairs to join them. She pulled the door open and greeted Beast who all but tackled her in excitement. She laughed lowly as she shoved him away to hug Negan. The cocky man grinned, brushing imaginary dust off his hands before drawling, "Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, sweetheart."

Kayla rolled her eyes and pulled him closer by his jacket, kissing him firmly on the mouth. "Took you long enough."

"Now don't bust my balls, sweetheart." He rasped, combing hair behind her ear affectionately, "I haven't even told you about the seat warmers yet."

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit**   
> Trigger warning for this chapter. Character death

 

* * *

Negan relaxed against the driver's side door, his elbow propped on the window as the group drove through winding forest roads. He glanced in the mirror to see the group of children and women, most sleeping against each other. They'd left Pennsylvania and ended up in Ohio by afternoon. Negan planned on getting them as far south as possible before their gas ran out. He wanted to escape the group of poachers but also the icy weather. Kayla and Negan had traveled the East coast for long enough, he hoped to find a new home in the mid-west.

The women that joined them were not expected, but thankfully helped take care of the surviving children. Kelly had turned out to be fairly good with the little ones even though Kayla caught her speaking to herself quite a few times. Teresa was still silent and barely surviving on chicken broth. Both Kayla and Negan were keeping a close eye on her while she slept fearing she might pass away unnoticed and change.

Dark eyes caught Negan's attention in the rear view, Beast's giant head poking up between the girl's in the backseat. Kayla had Anna sitting in her lap, the girl practically attached to her by an invisible umbilical cord. He could tell it was wearing on his wife, the woman unused to being clung to at all times. She was trying to be patient, but he could see the frustration brewing and with it was guilt for feeling it.

Kayla's head was propped against the window, her breath fogging up the glass as she slept. The huge dog panted at Negan, drool dripping onto the seat below him as he peered out the front window.

"You gotta piss, big guy?" Negan rasped, his voice hoarse from disuse. Beast grumbled at the question, the canine shifting to prop his front legs on the driver's seat to lick Negan's head.

"Fuck off." Negan grunted, shoving the dog away. "Hold your horses."

"What's up?" Kayla slurred tiredly.

"Your dog's bein' a dick."

"He's prolly gotta pee." She muttered, shifting the girl in her lap with a grimace.

"Legs numb?"

"Yeah." She grumbled, her mouth scowled.

"She's just scared. She'll loosen up if we find somewhere to land for a while."

"I know." Kayla sighed, softly combing the girl's hair from her face. Negan smiled as he watched his wife look over the girl, her expression softening.

"Looks good on you."

"What?"

"Being a mom."

"I'm not."

"You are now."

"That make you a dad?"

"Fuck no." He rasped, chuckling as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"You see anythin' promisin'?" Kayla asked as the continued to drive.

"Town comin' up. Might be a place to crash for a day or two, get some gas and food."

"Sounds good to me. I need to stretch my legs and blow off some steam."

"You and me both, dollface."

* * *

"No." Anna grunted, shoving the bowl of chickpeas away from her.

Kayla clenched her jaw and spoke firmly, "You have to eat Anna."

"No." The little girl shook her head, her blonde hair hanging in tangles now that Beatrice wasn't there to braid it. Her clothing was dirty and stiff from being soaked in rain water and dried.

"Yes." Kayla replied, pushing the bowl back across the table.

"No." Anna snapped, shoving the bowl off the table and onto the floor, spilling the last bit of food they had left.

Kayla growled in frustration, her hands tightening and eyes narrowing at the girl. Beast trotted over, his nose sniffing the mess on the floor, before turning tail with no interest either.

"I should make you eat it off the floor." She snapped angrily, her temper glaring.

"Easy, baby." Negan muttered behind her as he joined the conversation.

"I can't fucking do this." Kayla huffed back, crossing her arms. "I don't need this bullshit."

Turning on her heel, she exited the small brick building and took a deep breath of wet air. She peered across the dark parking lot at the gated property and noticed a few dead at the iron fence. The neighborhood looked as though it might have been a little shady before the world changed, graffiti was painted along bus benches and cinderblock walls. The tiny law office had security fences and long dead cameras to watch the property. It provided a good secure location to recoup supplies and get a little rest before they hit the road again.

Kayla tilted her head back and let the misty rain hit her face for a moment as she slowly took in another head clearing breath.

She never thought about having her own kids and now that she had a handful of them to care for she was finding she lacked maternal instincts. Maybe it was the change in the world that had her less than equipped to deal with ornery children, but Kayla was at the end of her patience with the young girl. She was afraid she would say or do something when it finally left her.

"You okay?" Negan asked after the door squeaked open moments later.

"Not really." She murmured, stepping back under the awning.

"She's just a kid. Kids are stubborn shits about food."

"I'm not cut out for this shit, Negan." She replied, crossing her arms. "I have no motherly instincts."

"Sure you do."

"No, no I don't." Kayla spoke while shaking her head as guilt began to fill her for the reaction she had inside. "I... I'm afraid I might snap with her."

"What do you mean?"

"I.." She shook her head again before confessing. "I think I'm more like my dad than I realized."

"I'm not following."

"Negan." She sighed, scrubbing her face in frustration. "My dad had no fucking patience for me or my brother. He was a drunk and when he got pissed, he'd take it out on us. I could feel my blood boiling in there... I'm afraid I'll snap one of these days with her.. I'm not sure I should be around her."

"Kay."

"I'm serious." She spoke adamantly. "I don't want to hurt her. I really don't but when she's like that... it takes everything in me to not take it out on her."

Negan stared at her for a long moment before he rasped, "I don't think you'd hurt her. You're just frustrated. That's normal with kids."

"Thinking a quick smack might clear up her stubborn streak is not normal." She growled, her eyes blurring. "I never thought I was like him but I think I am."

"You aren't."

"You don't know that."

"I do." He rasped against her temple, kissing it softly.

"I don't." Kayla grumbled, digging her forehead into his chest, while wrapping her arms around him. "Just.. if at all possible I need some space from her. I know it makes me an asshole but my temper is brittle right now."

"I'll mention it to Ingrid. Maybe she can wrangle her."

"Here's hoping." She huffed, pulling back to look at him nervously. "Do you..."

"Do I what?"

"Do you think I'm a terrible person?" She asked, her scarred cheek twitching anxiously as she grimaced with the question.

"Hey." Negan murmured, cupping her face as she began to beat herself up over the feelings she was admitting to. "You're not a terrible person. Far fucking from it, sweetheart. Most people wouldn't have gone back for those kids. Most people wouldn't risk their own ass for their grandmas in this world. You went back for strangers, you killed to protect them. You go out looking for shit they need. You're not a terrible person."

"Just a terrible mom." She grumbled, her eyes going distant as she watched the rain. "I used to think I was so much better than my dad. That I never got how he could be the way he was but now... I'm not so sure."

"You'd never hurt those kids, sweetheart. You don't have that shit in you. I guaran-goddamn-tee that."

* * *

Negan watched his wife pack a small bag for their run, the slim essentials they had remaining being left with the group while they searched for more. Kelly and Ingrid were tasked with watching the children, while Elijah and Jacob would keep watch. Teresa was sitting mostly comatose in the children's room, her eyes watching the littlest without much reaction. Negan wasn't too sure if the woman would ever come out of the stupor her ordeal caused, her body was slowly shutting down causing her to sleep most of her days away.

Anna watched Kayla closely, her lips pouted as the woman ignored her. Negan would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised by his wife's confessions. He knew her father was abusive but Negan hadn't known she feared she hadn't fallen far from the family tree in regards to parental styles. He was shocked to hear her request to be kept away from the little girl in fear of what she might do. He didn't believe she had it in her to hurt a child but he could see her becoming more frustrated as the days filled with constant stress went on. The little girl was a handful and seemed to sense and enjoy pushing Kayla's buttons.

"When you gonna be back?" Anna's tiny voice asked for the dozenth time, her little mouth scowled as Kayla continued to pack rather than make eye contact.

"When we find food." Kayla muttered, tugging her bag over her shoulders.

"Where you gonna find it?"

"Places." Kayla sighed, raking her hair back into a ponytail.

"Lots of places?"

"Yeah." Kayla grumbled, her eyes sliding around the room for anything needed left behind.

"What're you gonna bring back?"

"Food."

"What kind?"

"Just food. Goddamnit." Kayla growled, her eyes flashing angrily. "Can you just.. stop asking me questions. Jesus Christ."

Negan placed a hand on her shoulder and ticked his chin to the door. "Go on and get the ride ready. I'll be right out."

Kayla's teeth ground and her jaw popped with tension as she headed outside. "Don't take to long, we're losing daylight."

"I'll be right out." Negan murmured, watching his wife stalk outside angrily. Kneeling down to Anna's height, he looked over the little blonde with a sad smile. He could tell Kayla's sharp tone and words upset her.

"She's mad at me 'cuz I spilled those gross things."

"She's just worried and tired." He excused his wife's behavior. "She isn't mad at you."

"Uhhuh." The girl mumbled, her fingers twisting in her stained dress.

"You need to eat what we have. We don't get to chose anymore, we gotta do what we gotta do to survive. Eating gross stuff is one of them."

"But I don't like 'em. Mama never made me eat 'im."

"Mama probably had a lotta choices we don't have." He replied, tugging on the tangled curl hanging in her face. "It's different now. Kayla needs you to be a good girl and do as you're told. You can do that for me can't you, princess?"

"I don't know."

"I know you can." He rasped, pulling her into a gentle hug. "We'll be back soon, alright. And I'll try to find you something other than gross things. Alright?"

"Okay." She muttered in her tiny voice. "I eat 'im."

"Good girl." Negan murmured, kissing her little head. "See you soon, darlin'. Be good for Ingrid."

* * *

Kayla shoved another armload of warm sweaters and jackets into a large garbage bag. The family thrift store connected to the church had provided them with a good bounty of used clothing and camping supplies. The group would now be set for their trip west. Inside the church, Negan was gathering all the non perishables from the church's food bank. The pantry once served to stock the poorer of the partitioners now supplied them with a few weeks worth of food. They'd even found over the counter medicine and diapers.

Kayla's mind wandered back to the group they'd left barricaded in their temporary shelter. She was still struggling to keep her temper in check, her mood darkening as the days went on. She'd never really thought of herself as a parental figure and now that she had to be one, she was finding herself lacking. The deficit wasn't something she was very proud of or comfortable with.

Her mind strayed to the tiny girl who'd become attached to her ankle. Anna was a sweetheart and Kayla thought she was a good kid, but she knew just how to push her buttons. Kayla found herself getting more frustrated by the day and she'd confessed her fears to Negan. She was fearful of if she was more like her father than she'd ever thought.

Standing up from digging through the closet, Kayla stumbled as her head swam. Grasping the doorframe, she blinked away the black spots and took in a slow breath. The dizzy spells had started the week prior when Kayla began giving her rations to the kids. She knew eventually she would need to eat but until they'd found the food bank they'd been scraping crumbs out of their bags to feed the little ones.

"Hey, you alright?" Negan asked from behind her.

"Yeah." She rasped, shaking her head slightly. "Just tired and starving."

"Here." He joined her in the room as he tore open a package of peanut butter crackers. "Eat a little. Are you dizzy?"

"A little." She mumbled, her mouth sticky with the crackers.

"Drink some water." Negan insisted, his hand cupping her elbow gently. "You should've told me."

"M'telling you now." She quipped, gulping a mouthful of water. "And I'm feeling better already."

"Good."

* * *

"We're gonna eat like kings tonight." Negan commented, hiking the pack up his shoulders for better leverage.

"We need to ration still."

"One feast won't hurt us, shit I haven't had a good meal since Sanctuary and even that was rationed."

"Oh bullshit."

"What?"

"You were king shit. You're food wasn't rationed."

"Fuck, yes it was."

"Not in the truest sense. You could have whatever you want."

Narrowing his eyes, he offered, "Not everything."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, if that were true I wouldn't be out here like some stupid fuck hunting for the last can of shitty peas. I'd been pissin' on Prick's grave and shoving the redneck fuck's face in it while eating a sandwich. If I got everything I wanted, my goddamn wife wouldn't be ten pounds shy of a hundred pounds soaking wet and not in the motherfucking fun way."

Kayla clenched her teeth as he raged, the residual anger he carried for the betrayal rearing its ugly head. She hated to see him filled with such fury, if only because half of it was directed at himself. She knew that along with the ire for the situation, Negan carried quite a bit of guilt for their predicament as well. Karma was a brutal bitch and even if it didn't exist, the reason they were out there was because of his actions in the past. He was a monster at one point, a man who had stepped into a role and had lost himself. Negan had tunnel vision when it came to the Sanctuary. He would do anything to keep it standing, even if it meant committing horrific acts to insight fear and obedience. The rules of his New World order weren't all self serving, many reflected the laws of the old world, but it became twisted and toxic, as he got deeper and darker. They say the road to hell is paved with the best intentions and Negan had, at one point, had the best of them.

"I'm not that fat." She deadpanned, her lips twisting into a smirk as he scowled. Wrapping her hand around his wrist, she dug her feet into the ground to stop their progress.

"What?" He grumbled, his eyes flicking around them.

"Listen to me."

Negan stared, his tired eyes telling her he was beyond exhausted and short on patience.

"We're gonna be fine. You and me, those kids. We'll figure this out because we always do."

"It won't _always_ be _always_." He grunted, leaning in to press his forehead against hers. "There's going to be a day-."

"Don't." She murmured, kissing his lips silent. "We focus on the now and the tomorrow. That's all we can do, you know that."

"It's bullshit." He rasped, his eyes falling shut for a moment before looking at her deeply. "This isn't what you deserve. I'm not providing for you like I should."

"You provide me with more than enough. I'm alive aren't I?"

"That's not enough."

"It is for me." She kissed him slowly. "And those of course."

Humming gruffly, Negan kissed her chastely on the forehead, his lips brushing across the cold skin as he spoke. "We're going to bed when we get back."

"Oh yeah?"

"Fuck yeah and after I sleep like ten hours, I'll fuck the hell outta you."

Chuckling, Kayla kissed his chin and headed up the path to the low roofed building the group found. The small administration building was once a lawyers office. The solid brick walls were good for both concealing sound and holding warmth but also it was sturdy against herds. The place had several offices to afford them privacy from the added eyes to the group.

"Sounds like heaven."

* * *

They approached the property cautiously, both spotting Elijah as they entered the fencing. The young man gave them a small wave in greeting but waited to speak until they were closer.

"How'd it go?"

"Found some good stuff." Negan replied adjusting the giant bag on his shoulders. "How're things here?"

"Real quiet. Jacob was supposed to take over a couple hours ago but I think he overslept. I figured I'd keep watch until you got back."

"I'll go get him." Kayla offered, pulling out a package of stale pastries. "You like strawberry?"

Elijah grinned at the object, taking it from her and tearing the package open. "Yeah. Thanks Kay."

"You're welcome. How was the little terror?"

"She was crying last night for you. Said you hate her."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla peered over at the door in thought. "I don't hate her. I just get frustrated."

"You and me both." Elijah mumbled through a mouthful.

"I'll talk to her." Kayla sighed, gathering up a few loose items that fell from her bag. "I'm gonna head in. I'll let Jacob know he needs to take over."

"It's okay, dollface." Negan remarked, tipping his chin to the property line. "I'm going to walk the line, see if there's any tracks. I'll take over watch when I'm done."

"Okay." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Be careful."

Kayla opened the door and slid inside the narrow opening while Negan, Elijah and Beast stayed outside to scout the area for prints. They'd been gone since the day before and hadn't meant to be gone so long, but they'd found enough food for the group for a couple weeks.

As she walked down the dark hallway leading to the room the group had settled in, Kayla heard the sound of shuffling feet. In the back of her mind she felt a niggling of nerves but had little time to process the feeling when a pair of hands grabbed her from a darkened doorway.

"Fuck." She grunted as the nails tore at her jacket sleeves, pulling her towards what had to be a corpses' snapping teeth. Kayla struggled to free her arms, her hands filled with items for the kids. Dropping what she carried, she yanked her blade out, while stumbling down the hallway into the dim light peeking through the boarded windows.

The sight of Ingrid gnawing on her leather sleeve, trying to get to her desired meal, shocked her stupid. Staring at the blonde with large eyes that were once blue, now a ghastly white, Kayla held her weapon poised but frozen solid.

The last time she'd seen the girl, she was feeding one of the toddlers smashed carrots and now just a day and half later, she was another cannibal monster. The sound of more shuffling feet had Kayla shocked into awareness. If Ingrid had turned, the rest must have followed.

Swallowing thickly, Kayla pulled herself from the state of shock she had fallen into and shoved her blade into the base of the young girl's head. Laying her down gently, Kayla listened for the rest of the group they'd left behind. She wandered further into the building and found Jacob stumbling along looking for the sounds he must've heard. Putting him down before he knew what was happening, Kayla began to feel herself shutting down. They'd all been through so much. They'd saved the kids from death and slavery and now they'd all ended up dead anyways. Pulling out her flashlight she headed into the room the group stayed in and found a scene that turned her blood cold.

A group of bodies were lying on their blankets, all with stab wounds to their skulls. Kelly lay with both toddlers, their little bodies tucked against her sides. The stillness of the scene was disrupted as Teresa stumbled from the kitchenette.

Kayla approached but realized soon that she was also a biter, her dead eyes rising when she aimed her flashlight in her direction. Her growls erupted through gnashing teeth and clawed hands, the front of her shirt stained with vomit and blood.

Kayla approached swiftly, burying her blade into her skull and letting her body drop to the ground. She let blurry eyes scan the room for Anna but couldn't find the little girl among the bedding.

Standing still, Kayla listened for any other noises but was interrupted by Negan exclaiming, "What the fuck?! Kayla!"

Finding her way back to the entrance, she saw Negan crouched next to the young girl with a frown. His head raised at the sound of her, his eyes troubled as he looked over her blood covered hands.

"What happened?"

Swallowing thickly, Kayla shook her head silently as the words she couldn't say caught in her throat. Beast trotted towards her, his nose huffing out irritated breathes as he caught scent of the other dead. Leaning against her thigh, the dog snorted another breath when she didn't react.

"Kay, fucking talk to me." Negan growled, his eyes flicking towards the hallway.

"They're all dead." She replied blandly before wandering away and towards the exit. She couldn't stand another second in the building, the smell of dead bodies finally making it to her senses.

"Kay." She heard him say before she slid outside to stand in the snow. Her eyes closed a moment as she was hit with such a huge feeling of helplessness, her chest caving under the pressure as the life they lived became too much.

"Kayla?" Elijah spoke from nearby, but she couldn't respond.

Shuffling forward, she pressed a hand to the aching feeling in her sternum and crouched down to keep from keeling over. She'd lost _a lot_ over the last few years in the apocalypse, but the loss of all the children was too painful. She couldn't breath.

When a hand landed on her back, she flinched, surprised she hadn't heard him approaching. Turning she found Negan looking shellshocked.

"Are you okay?"

"No." She croaked, shaking her head violently.

"Yeah." He rasped, looking back at the building. "Teresa poisoned them and herself. She left a note, said she couldn't watch them _suffer_ anymore. Looks like she died before she could finish putting them down."

Clenching her eyes, Kayla muttered, "I knew she was crazy. I should've-."

"No. You couldn't have known."

"I should've."

"You couldn't have known." He repeated, his eyes tracing over her face as he wiped away tears she hadn't known she'd shed.

"Why would she... they.." Kayla choked on words, "Why.. w-why would she do that... w-why?"

"Shhh. Baby. Easy." Negan drawled, scooping her up into his arms and rocking her as she became a mess of tears and snot.

"This is all our fault. W-we went to their place. Those fuckers followed us. It's... it's all us.. we did this. We did. They'd be fine if we never went there." She stammered and gasped, her eyes pouring out tears. "My hands are so red... this, this is what I am... I'm a monster. We're monsters. All of us. All of us."

"Ssh, goddamnit. Kay. Please. Sweetheart." He rasped, his arms wrapping around her so tightly. "Baby, you're not a monster."

"I am. I am. I am." She stammered, her eyes squeezing shut to shed the tears blurring her vision.

"I found her!" Elijah burst from the building carrying Anna, the girl wrapped around his torso.

Kayla was at his side instantly, her eyes scanning over the girl's teary face.

"She was hiding in the closet." Elijah explained, crouching nearby as Kayla looked over the girl.

"Talk to me, little one." Kayla murmured, "Are you sick? Did Teresa give you anything?"

"No." Anna whimpered, shaking her head. "I wouldn't do it."

"She tried?"

"Yeah but I wouldn't drink it." Anna sobbed, her little hand clutching Kayla's coat as she pulled her into her lap. "She got mad and I ran away."

"You did good." She murmured, her eyes rising to meet Negan's troubled gaze. "You did real good."

"Don't go." The girl cried as Kayla stood up with her wrapped around her front.

"I'm not going anywhere." She assured the girl, patting her head as she looked at Negan and Elijah.

Kayla stood with Anna in her arms, tightening as she thought about how she'd almost lost her. Kissing the girl's temple, she murmured, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Anna's squeezed her little arms around her neck. "It's okay."

"I'll be better." Kayla added.

"Me too." Anna replied, her chin wobbling. "Promise."

"Promise." Kayla murmured, hugging the little blonde.

They all seemed to share silent conversation, the sorrow of the newest losses hitting them simultaneously. They couldn't stay in the building, not with what had just transpired.

"What now?" Elijah asked, his voice hoarse and weary.

"We'll keep heading west." Negan rasped, his eyes flicking to the building. "After we bury our dead we'll head out. There's nothing left for us here."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me. Thanks for reading.


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